(no subject)

[theist]

I've done so much for you.

Comments

[numbers_r_better_n_people]

Have you indeed? :: And here's a slight wince from Tommy ::

And... who are you, that you can make such a claim, sir...?

[theist]

Call me a Good Samaritan.

[numbers_r_better_n_people]

Oh yes? And... yet, I do not recall being left by the side of a road, bleeding and beaten, for you to rescue me...

So again: how can you make such a claim, Sir?

[theist]

No, but a few million years ago you were naked thought slaves.

[numbers_r_better_n_people]

Oh yes? And... you claim to know that I was actually alive a few million years ago? Because I'm sorry, sir, but-- I was actually born in 1977, in fact! And no, I do NOT mean Before Christ, of course, but Anno Domini: in the Year of Our Lord 1977...

[theist]

You're a child of Eve no matter how later on you were born.

I gave your first mother clothes and critical thinking, and I never got a thank you.

(omg the Religious Scholar's finally catching on to who you are, Luci... haha!)

[numbers_r_better_n_people]

Wait, a child of Eve? I've never heard myself referred to as such, save in bad sci-fi films, of course....

Oh my GOD!! :: he blinks in horror at the gentleman in front of him :: You're... the Serpent, then? Satan Himself!?

bout time kiddo

[theist]

That's what you are. Homo Sapien, son of Adam and Eve, just a little more evolved. Less hairy with less teeth.

I suppose that gives you the inclination that I intend on stealing your soul, judging by your face.

Re: bout time kiddo

[numbers_r_better_n_people]

Wait, what? I always thought that-- Adam and Eve were the first evolved homo sapiens, as opposed to-- Neanderthals, for example... :: Because hey, scientific terms are hard, alright? I mean, how is a Maths geek supposed to remember all those different precursors to the current Evolution of Man? ::

:: He pulls another slight grimace at the gentleman :: Do you--you mean to say you -- are not here to make some sort of twisted deal for my soul...?

[theist]

No. Eve was a woman in Africa several million years ago. As was Adam, but later on. And Neanderthals were only related to humans, a different branch entirely. It didn't stop the occasional mating from happening but you mud monkeys love to stick your genitals in everything. There's several abused animals, countless fluid soaked dolls and old socks that can attest to that.

I'm honestly not that interested. I haven't been interested since Jesus went home to Father. I keep getting souls, but there's really not a thing I can do with them.

[numbers_r_better_n_people]

Oh yes? Well, being an entirely asexual man myself, I feel as if I should resent that remark...

Only... not so much, because I'm mostly curious as to how the First Coming of Christ could have possibly made all our souls utterly useless to you....?

[theist]

Resent it all you like, for every asexual there is there's an over sexed over tanned over dressed man in sunglasses spreading his seed around like he's trying to grow a wheat field.

Before Jesus, I got the majority, if not all human souls. Job got out. As did David and Moses of course. But all those drowned souls from the flood are mine. Sodom and Gomorrah also mine. Any human that died before Jesus died with a few exceptions were also mine, and I had the ability to wave it in Gods face and make fun of him. 'Look at all the souls of your beloved children I have', I could say.

Then Jesus comes. And all those souls don't matter anymore, because now a majority go to heaven. Heaven really isn't as exclusive as you think it is, it doesn't even take a direct belief in God anymore to get in, since Jesus did all that bleeding for you.

Now any man who makes it through life without murdering someone and giving a little back to society can at least make it to a level of heaven.

[findwarmsands]

This one was unaware. Many ... thanks?

[theist]

Well... Maybe not you.

I adore your PB. I also have a small load of VP icons I made myself back in the day if you want!

[findwarmsands]

...This one sees. Khajiit has spoken with ones that feel like you.

ksdjfh thank you, i thought VP would be the best pb for Lucifer

[theist]

Oh? I doubt, if they had the same feeling, that many of them were as pleasant as me. My brothers and sisters tend to be rude and unfit for society.

if you have aim or email, I can send a zip of them to you!

[findwarmsands]

Daedra can be ... unpleasant, true. However, they tended to keep their word, and they do not ask overly much.

lol I have no space for more

[theist]

Oh most demons do, believe it or not. We mostly lie out of omission.

And we generally don't expect too much in return. I know all I ask for is a little critical thinking and use of that big impressive brain all of you were gifted with.

No harm

[findwarmsands]

This one likely would not be living still without such skills.

speaking of: hi again

[notoldscratch]

Was that before or after that whole 'cursed by God' thing?

eh sure why not

[theist]

Of course, but other people can coast through life without ever using it.

<3

[theist]

It was after the Fall, but I suppose he thinks he cursed me anyway.

[numbers_r_better_n_people]

In-indeed....

Any man who-- doesn't commit murder, you say? :: And here Tommy gulps a little; he has committed Sororicide already, after all, and intends fully not to stop there, to kill everyone who wronged his sister before he dies himself... ::

[theist]

Murder, rape, most any other human atrocities. Even pickpockets and shop lifters get into heaven.

Things are pretty interesting in Hell though, now that we have Saddam and Kim Jong Il. They seem to be getting along pretty well.

ahaha! ❤ ilu for this, for srs! ;)

[numbers_r_better_n_people]

In-indeed...? I mean, are you saying that murderers do get into Heaven, or not so much? I mean... not that I'm curious on my own behalf, of course.... :: Oh yes, Tommy-boy is totally lying here! ::

In-indeed.... I'm sure it is, at that. Especially if the two of them do get along as well as all that!