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I suppose that's a fair argument. I'm still getting to know you in some ways after all. [He's leaning against the wall observing Malcolm.]

Indeed you are Doctor. Despite all my warnings you continue to pop in and out of my life like a penny.

[Malcolm watches the Time Lord warily given the Doctor is the only person who scares him in the slightest.]

[Raises an eyebrow and tilts his head slightly. He thought they'd made progress, becoming closer especially after his last encounter with Malcolm which had ended rather enjoyably.]

You seem...different. Has something happened since we last saw each other?

[Malcolm didn't think he was going to see this face ever again and it makes him nervous given that he also just sent his daughter's half brother to his death. He has no illusions that Oliver will survive the trial much less win it and while personally he doesn't feel guilt over it he knows Thea will hate him for what he's done to her and to Oliver.]

A lot of things have happened since I saw you last Doctor you might need to narrow it down a little.

Well, last time I left you weren't so....cold towards me. It makes me thing you've done something I wouldn't approve of...like you're trying to remain detached from the situation.

[A look of concern crosses his face] Is Thea alright? Did something happen to her? [This Doctor has no knowledge that Malcolm has met not only his future selves but all his past selves as well. He isn't aware that he's inadvertently crossed his own timeline in regards to their relationship.]

[Malcolm nods realizing that the argument the newer Doctor mentioned is brewing and if the other Doctor's relief at Malcolm's reaction to him was any indication it is shaping up to be a horrible one.]

Yes something happened, but it only concerns Thea in a round about way. I sent Oliver Queen to die.

[Opening shot fired but Malcolm will make no apologies for it. With the League's blood debt on his head and Thea's too it was the best plan he could think of to save them both cold as it was.]

[It wasn't often the Doctor was struck speechless. His mouth opened in shock or horror..possibly both and he was silent for a long moment. He thought perhaps he'd heard wrong..but the look on Malcolm's face told him otherwise.]

What? How could you do that?! I mean...WHY would you do that?! Thea will never forgive you! You'll lose her just as easily as you lost everyone else. Malcolm, what were you thinking? [He's not yelling at the moment, but there are telltale signs of the oncoming storm approaching.]

I was thinking of my life and Thea's. The League would have continued to come after me and discovered that Thea had killed one of their own.

[Malcolm's voice is complete ice no sign of the man who a few months ago smiled and laughed and showed the Doctor that Jack Harkness still resides in him somewhere.]

I told you Doctor, I told you and told you I am what my life made me and all my choices reflect this. I will do what it takes to get my justice for Tommy and Rebecca.

Malcolm. If Oliver dies don't you think that might upset Thea? She may never forgive you. And what do you mean Thea killed Sara? Why would she do that?

I don't understand this...help me understand. [ he makes no comment that Tommy's death was actually all Malcolm's fault]

Oliver will die if he does not then the blood debts on my head and Thea's will be cancelled. Thea killed Sara but she doesn't remember it. I gave her an herb to blank out her mind. She was getting too close to finding me and someone else was also interested in having her out of the way I took the opportunities presented them and used them.

[Malcolm shrugs this is all business as usual to him.]

There is nothing else to understand.

[the doctor is silent for a long time before he fixed Malcolm with a concerned gaze] if you keep toying with people you will lose every one of them and you will have no one to blame but yourself. You and I both know what its like to outlive everyone you love. I can't stand by and watch you destroy yourself. It's too painful.

Then go. I never asked you to watch over me did I? You offered that yourself after I warned you many times that I wasn't the man you knew, I cannot be him and I will not be him. If you want Jack Harkness go find yours, if you want me then you know where I am.

I know how painful outliving those you love is and it should be clear to you now that I don't care to get close to anyone ever again. Thea is strong enough to live on her own and that is enough for me.

Don't you see what you're doing? You're pushing away everyone you care about, including me! I know you're not Jack, I don't want you to be Jack. I don't love Jack, I love YOU Malcolm. I want YOU. [The Doctors anger is still present, but also an deep sadness. He hates that they are fighting.] You told me you loved me too, was that just a lie to get what you wanted?

[Malcolm's cold expression wavers just a second, just one enough to see that he effected by what the Doctor is saying. But he has to be strong and be honest because he knows this works out.]

I care for you Doctor that is true. but I cannot....I can't change who I am. I'm not a hero. My form of justice is cruel and callous.

You can change, you were changing...you just don't want too. You're so afraid people will leave you that you push them away when they start to get close just so that the relationship ends on your terms.

You make it sound like there is something wrong with that. The last person I let close...both of them died. How can I put myself through that pain again.

Do you even hear yourself! Malcolm, your constant need to get revenge is what got your son killed in the first place! Now you're doing things that could very well get your daughter and her brother killed. Thea is all you have left...this is not how you go about protecting her. If anything you're making it harder for her. [Yeah...they're fighting...]

And you would know so much about parenting. Doctor you are the poster child for running away and leaving people behind because it hurts too much to lose them. You did that to Jack, your Jack or have you gained such a rosy opinion of yourself that you've forgotten that.

I tried normal channels, I tried the police, private detectives, the FBI I even considered risking the timeline to reach out to myself for help. None of it worked everyone turned away from me, even Ra didn't understand. All he wanted from me was another pair of clever hands to do his dirty work. I will not allow Rebecca's death to be swept away like trash.

As for Tommy he would have known nothing about any of this if Oliver hadn't opened his mouth. He'd be a country away safe, but no he was in the danger zone, it may have been my machine that killed him but it was Oliver's words that put him in it's path.

[Malcolm's voice hasn't risen at all and his body is so rigid he could snap in half if touched.]

Death is the only thing that has embraced me Doctor it's time I stopped fighting her grip.

No, I'm a terrible parent. My children hated me, my granddaughter is missing and probably dead. I destroyed my planet to save the entirety of Time and Space. 2.47 Billion children alone, Malcolm. And I killed every. single. one. in cold blood. You want to count losses because I'm fairly certain the scales will weigh far more on my side.

I left Jack behind....left YOU behind, because I knew you would be alright. Rose however, at that time she wouldn't have been able to live with what she had done to you. I regret my choice but I can't change it. I've tried to make it better. I'm not your Doctor, I didn't abandon you in your time. If anything I've done all I could to be there for you now. I LOVE you Malcolm. [He places a hand on Malcolm's shoulder]

There is still time to fix this, we can fix this together. Please, let me help.

Knowing I'd be alright doesn't make what you did the right choice Doctor. I loved you....he loved you and you walked away. You didn't even have the decency to bury us. He's good at hiding it and so am I but it still hurts.

[Malcolm doesn't move away but he doesn't move forward either. He's chanting "This will be alright just be honest." in his head the memory of the other Doctor's sweet kiss echoing on his lips.]

No Doctor you cannot help this time. I shouldn't have let you help at all. I have to face the aftermath of my actions alone.

I was dying too, Malcolm. I absorbed the Vortex into myself to save Rose. There wasn't any time. I'm so sorry, you know that but I can't change it.

[he shakes Malcolm a bit, as if that could make him listen]

Why are you still pushing me away? If you love me why?

And I can't change this...everything I've done has a reason for me, for Oliver and for Thea for Roy and Ray. Even for Felicity and Laurel though they don't know it yet.

[Malcolm manages a smile, a small careful smile]

Even this argument has a purpose though it won't be clear to you until later.

Always manipulating people, even me apparently. Do you ever tell the truth? Ever? [he moves away.] You push and push...do you want me to leave? To prove your right about me, that I'll abandon you?

[Malcolm closes his eyes and counts to ten for what seems like a century trying to find the right words to say the ones that will keep the timeline intact and make the point he needs to make.]

I have never lied to you Doctor, never. I have shown you my work, let you into my home, helped you and protected you. The only thing I haven't told you is the one thing you haven't asked about. Why did I risk crossing a timeline, my own timeline to be here? I wasn't running away...I came here with a purpose. And that purpose has turned me into the man you see right now.

One day you'll understand what we had to give up to be here. But for now yes you should go.

Then tell me why you did it. I may not have asked before out of respect for you. I figured if you wanted to tell me you would one day. But since that will doubtfully happen, I'm asking now.

Why did you cross your own time line? Why are you speaking as if you know how this works out? [His face goes slack] You do know how this works out...don't you? How do you KNOW!?

[Malcolm sighs softly honestly he is going to need a drink or several after this. He's glad a certain person is in town because she is going to get an earful later.]

A crisis is coming in the future. A crisis that is going to effect this entire timeline all kicked off by an angry young man who lost his mother to a man in yellow. It was a danger your Jack missed and will miss again, but that same young man realized what he had done and reached out asking for help. He found someone important to you..who will be important to you and she began to help him fix things.

But they ran into a snag. Two men with the same face Jack Harkness and Malcolm Meryln. The woman realized they were the same man but from different time lines one from this timeline and one from the timeline the crisis will create if it isn't stopped. She convinced me of what needed to be done and I came.

[Malcolm's voice softens more.]

I know this works out for two reasons, one I wouldn't be here if it wasn't. And two...you told me months ago this argument was coming.

[He shakes his head as Malcolm talks, pacing and trying to understand just how big of a clusterfuck they've created in one way or another. He pauses at the last comment though and stares hard at Malcolm]

I told you? I didn....you met a future me...didn't you?

[Malcolm nods.]

I did...and I will. I don't think he meant to let slip so early but he did and he's been gently warning me ever since. So even if you walk away now I'll see you again.

If I crossed my own time line to warn you then there's a distinct probability it's been a very very long time. [Takes a step back] So you're just letting this happen on purpose...Malcolm....

[Don't you see it's hurting him?]

Just because you know it works out doesn't make it okay!

Edited 2014-12-13 22:41 (UTC)

You'd just regenerated I doubt you knew what you were saying until later.

[Malcolm is hurting too, deeply though he's hiding it behind his cold mask which is back in place.]

And now my own words come back to haunt me. No following the timeline doesn't make what I'm doing now right, but I'm the version of me that can let you walk away for a century or two and be fine. I can let my wife's death scar my soul, I can kill 525 people and not feel anything, I can send a brave young man to his death knowing it will make him stronger as a result. Your Jack can't...he's too broken.

You don't know yet what I saw...what I lived through. I don't know if you ever will, hell if we did this right you won't. no one will.

[He looks as though he might cry, he sounds defeated]

It does hurt you and you do feel something even if you refuse to admit it. You, Malcolm...are just as broken as my Jack, possibly more-so. I suppose if it benefited you in some way you'd send me to my demise and possibly get me killed for good.

You know, I was hesitant to give into you. Then, you died in my arms and pleaded with me to show you, to give into my want for you. I let myself fall in love with you hoping you honestly felt the same. I don't think you even understand what love means anymore. And now, after all of this, I suppose you expect me to just leave because a future me told you everything would be alright.

[he gives a mirthless chuckle] You want to know what the worst part is? I can never see you again. You told me how the story ends and I can't change history, It has to all play out now just like you said. This is the very last time you will see this face in this time line. Who knows if I'll inadvertently cross again, but he won't be me. He won't have had this argument with you. I love you and I will never be able to touch you. [He trails warm fingers over Malcolm's cheek] Kiss you. [He presses a kiss to Malcolm's forehead] or anything of the sort ever again.

[He takes a step back, tears gathering in his eyes.] And I doubt you care in the slightest. 'I'm miserable so everyone else has to be too', That's your motto right? 'Destroy everything before it can destroy me'. Well, congratulations. You've managed to destroy us.

Edited 2014-12-15 03:33 (UTC)

[Malcolm's newly thawed out heart was breaking under the strain of the Doctor's words. He'd known at some point he'd have to let this one go, but for it to happen like this now tonight of all nights it was taking all of his training. all of his composure not to break apart. Had he been Jack Harkness he would have..]

Doctor......Doctor I'm doing this for the timeline. What I want doesn't matter, what I need doesn't matter. I love you I do and one day you'll know that. But now...right now I have to break my heart to save everyone.

And I do believe that is the worst tragedy of them all. You sell yourself as a martyr when you're the one lighting the fires. It just doesn't work that way. [you are breaking his hearts; he slowly takes a step back, distancing himself from Malcolm. He's so very tired now. Tired of everything.] I don't think you even know what love is anymore.

Edited 2014-12-15 23:46 (UTC)

Then you missed the point of everything I've done for you. I walked back into hell for you, opened my heart for you. I'm breaking my heart now for you.

[Malcolm swallows. His strength is starting to fail.]

If that isn't love I don't know what it is.

[sighs and looks away for a moment]

I suppose this is goodbye then.

Yes....yes this is goodbye...for now.

[Malcolm can't let it be anything else he can't.]

[he nods, turns around, and walks away]

Edited 2014-12-23 02:17 (UTC)

Maybe I don't but I know I love you. That is what will matter in the end.

[Tagging from tablet and it groups all comments together doh!]