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[Applauds.] I should have brought popcorn.

Caramel popcorn I hope, not that salted butter stuff, that's so cheap.

I never said I was sharing...

But that's an excellent idea.

I'm full of excellent ideas! Like a piñata!

Oh really? Should I test that theory by hanging you up and beating you with a stick until pieces fall out? [An actuator rises menacingly.]

It's just kinetic bubbles that fall out when you do that. We can say you did and save smacking me with tentacles? I used to go on the internet. That's kinda creepy you know.

...I do wish people would stop making those jokes.

[He's not too sure about all these tentacle-porn comments. It's not something he even knew about until people started cracking jokes. At least it's made him pause.]

I wish people would stop punching me.

[He's picking himself up off the ground and out of the rubble]

Well, that's one way to do it...

Maybe stop making people want to punch you.

[He's still bitter about being crashed into, before.]

I am way too annoying to ever manage that.

This is why I am the king of cool. All others are imitators.

....Ouch.

Naw... naw it's cool.. no problem. I can walk that one off.

Suppose having the energy... ball... speed... thing... helps.

Actually to be honest I don't really get how your powers work, dude.

Hey I didn't know how my powers worked for ages too! It was kind of hilarious. When it wasn't ridiculous. But hey... I have jello hair and a creepy voice because of it!

No, it's cool. I guess when I was starting out you were already in... erm, well, that phase. But it seems to come in handy, right? And you always look like you know what you're doing.

The less we talk about that the better, deal? That's way passed. I'm better now. And there was no Jello hair back then. Chicks dig the jello hair.

Truth is.. Someone has to look after the kids. I was that young when the original Warriors started... when I first started. It's good to have someone who at least pretends to know what they're doing. Between me and Justice I think we're a good parental unit. Not that we actually know what we're doing half the time, we've just been saving the world for so long we can fake it pretty well now.

Edited 2014-12-12 21:47 (UTC)

No problem, I wouldn't wanna dwell on that either. Glad you pulled through anyway. Same with me and the sexy red side burns then, heh. Did I hear that Squirrel Girl has a thing for you or something?

I don't know if I'd be as great as Pymie Boy when it comes to teaching kids, but its good someone's able to do that. Think I met Justice back in the Initiative days, he seemed cool.

You and me both. It's hard being that angry and sad all the time. Squirrel Girl... is my own personal cheerleader. But she helped pull me out of a bad time so I guess I don't mind. Her room is a bit...uh... Creepy though. I know I had merchandise when we were on TV but I am pretty sure that she had the fabric for her bedsheets printed herself. I mean. I'm flattered? I guess?

Justice is great. He's Dad to pretty much all the Initiative kids. Like, you know how there's always that one guy you trust to punch you in the face when you're being a tool? That's Justice. Kind of a fanboy for Rogers though. Do you know how hard I have to try not to roll my eyes at him when he goes on and on?

End of the day what happened to Stanford was terrible, but it wasn't any of your group fault, terrible Reality TV aside. She always seemed pretty upbeat and cute to me, but hey, she beat Doctor Doom and Thanos right? Even if that does sound pretty fangirlish.

Well Rogers is probably the one hero I respect more than any other, and he was the first one to really believe in me, despite my past antics. But having someone like that is a good thing, especially when you need a good leader. Sometimes I think I should have kept in better touch with my fellow Initiative crews. I mean the guy I got on best with back then was... erm, Taskmaster.

...we both love Chuck, it's a thing.

I take the blame for Stamford. It was my call and I made a bad one. Nitro was the one who killed everyone but... Yeah. I should have been better.

You know. From what I hear Squirrel girl has never lost a fight. Which makes her terrifying in my books. Cause you know, we all lose fights all the time. I'd actually try to recruit her except... I dunno man. Speedball bedsheets is just slightly creepy for me. My agent actually reported her to the FBI because of all the fanmail she sent me...

I'm not a huge fan. Not gonna lie. The shit that happened to me was partly his fault. Him and Stark's strutting around.

Taskmaster. Yeeee. That guy... He's with the Thunderbolts now, isn't he?

Edited 2014-12-12 22:49 (UTC)

There's a lot of crap I regret doing too, and sometimes I wish I'd taken responsibility for it sooner. But we can't change the past. Unless you're Doctor Doom. Cause you know, time machine.

That's actually really impressive, but from what I know about her she seems really humble and sweet. And baby sitting is a tough dig. But yeah, that's a little creepy.

Really? You might be one of the few I know who doesn't like him. But things might have been better with the whole Civil War thing if they'd hadn't resorted to punching half of New York up.

It's weird cause he really doesn't like Scott Lang, some old rivalry going there. But once you get past the fact he's a super criminal and merc for hire and has a lotta memory issues... he isn't that bad a guy, really. Probably not good for a super hero to get on with a villain, though.

Did you kill 600 people? I'll put money my pain is bigger than your pain.

Yeah, I did meet her once. She was nice, besides the awkward fangirling. And cute.

You know that kind of annoys me. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate or even dislike Rogers... but The Avengers blow up half a city and no one cares. I blow up a suburb and I go to jail and get dragged through the mud that's CNN and get called the Most Hated Man in America and disowned. And then Rogers and Stark give us crap for dropping a mountain in a river. Which The Warriors weren't even driving.

Lang... Lang is the other Ant Man, isn't he? How many of you are there?

You said it first kid.

...ah, no. Anyone I killed was definitely a bad guy. Mine was more... intimate, I guess.

At least she is the nice fangirl type. I guess if we ever met I'd consider asking her out, but I'm not sure how well squirrels and ants mix.

Pretty sure so long as you stick Avengers on the front cover New Yorkers will accept just about anything and make it positive. New Warriors and X-Men, not so much. I'm not sure how you drive a mountain but alright.

Three. Me, Pymie Boy and Lang. Plus I suppose there the various other size changers, alive or dead.

[She crinkles her nose and then advances, moving forward to make sure he's alright.] I'm not so sure I could see too many people intentionally mimicking your style...

Are you, uh, alright?

Half a dozen people have said it before me. I've been insulted by the best.

Intentionally no. But they do it.
They can't walk it off.

I'm cool. I bounce back from stuff like that. Literally!

I am pretty sure squirrels eat ants. I mean, have you ever actually seen a squirrel in the wild? Terrifying. All that bird-murder and chittering...

Well to be fair, Jake Waffles and Mr.Whiskers dove the mountain. We uh. Just took over the 'genocide' room and turned it into a crash pad.

I try to avoid walls if I can, personally. I've gotten surprisingly good at dodging things over the years.

I do seem to recall hearing that before...

yeah.... I'm not one for the dodging. Actually the whole dodging thing is counter intuitive at this point and works against me, really. I can get why you'd avoid walls though. They're hard. And often made of brick!

Well, everyone has heard how cool I am. No surprise there. Free autographs if you tell your friends.

We do try.

Right, well hopefully she wouldn't try the same to me. I guess we do tend to focus on the cutesiness and acorn nibbling.

Jake Waffles and Mister Whiskers? You New Warrior types live such interesting lives.