(no subject)

[moonsized]

 You got me some food, right?

Comments

[onlythestrong]

A treadmill, actually.

[moonsized]

...Not what I had in mind, kid. Not all that funny either.

Go get me some cake.

[onlythestrong]

You're gonna have a fucking heart attack if I do that. Dead cat sucks.

[moonsized]

I've eaten a ton of cake before this! The treadmill would be the thing to kill me more than a slice or five of cake.

Just don't get chocolate. I'm in the mood for lemon.

[onlythestrong]

What? [He just splutters mildly.] No! Seriously, who the hell owned you before now? You're going on a diet.

[j_h_holliday]

How about some shrimp cocktail?

[moonsized]

Owned? Nobody owned me! [Enjoy a small hiss.]

...Blame my co-workers. The Baron makes an amazing angel food cake. I expect you to match it at least halfway!

[moonsized]

Not much of a meal, but I'll bite if you provide!

[j_h_holliday]

I believe it's just the starter here, whatever else they bring you are more than welcome to.

[moonsized]

Of course! As long as you remember it's all outta your pocket. [Since he doesn't exactly have any himself.]

[j_h_holliday]

Heavens no, this is all comped. Never pay for anything when you're in a casino. [He will push the dish of shrimp and it's cocktail sauce over to the pudgy beast.]

[onlythestrong]

I don't think you understand how this 'pet' thing works. You're getting whiskaz. And then we're going to the vet tomorrow.

[moonsized]

[And said pudgy beast will practically inhale it. Poof, gone faster than he can see. Be grateful for that, Doc.]

Yeah, good advice. Not that I've ever been to a place like this. I think I will a lot more nowadays!

[He has some sauce on his whiskers, ew.]

[moonsized]

I don't think you understand how I work.

No and no. [Muta is plodding away now.] I don't do the crap you people try to pass off as food, and I don't do vets either. I can keep myself perfectly healthy, and I'll let myself out.

[j_h_holliday]

If you had thumbs and could play slots you might never have to pay for a meal directly again.

[Completely and utterly amused, Doc will offer a linen napkin to the furry planet.]

You have a little... [He makes a vague motion toward his own mouth to indicate where the sauce is.]

[onlythestrong]

[Gabe rolls his eyes.] "Get a cat" they said. "They aren't hard to take care of" they said.

[He watches the little furry globe trot off.] You don't have any thumbs, how are you going to get out?! [He sighs.] Literally all I have is cat food. I don't eat human crap. I can get steak or fish or something. But there's no way in hell I'm feeding you cake, of all things.

[aphotic_auror]

Oh aye, are you hungry, too, then? Well then, lucky for you I have a bloody steak-- [Literally bloody, that is to say!]-- that I've suddenly lost my appetite for, on account of all these photographs I've been left to catalogue for my boss... [And waving the pictures of the dead, butchered rabbits and deer that were left as a warning to someone in the Order of the Phoenix at the fat cat, who probably will only lick its chops at such a sight as fresh venison and rabbit, she then pushes the "bloody" rare steak on its plate over to the beast.]

[moonsized]

I can use them! [He sort of has thumbs. Enough he can hold a newspaper and read it. And Doc'll get a demonstration when he grabs the napkin and uses it, getting most of it but smearing a bit down his chin.] Don't need to though. I make sure to stay around where people eat and I can grab allll the leftovers. And some of the not-leftovers.

[moonsized]

You shoulda picked up a cute little kitten from the shelter, then, not just a cat minding their own business on the street!

[He keeps going until he hears the word steak. And then fish makes his ears flick back.]

Well. I wouldn't object to a few bites of that...

[Muta squints at the young man. He'd be more concerned if he hadn't been offered a meal, really.]

[onlythestrong]

Kittens have energy and need to be fed during the day. Too much work and I sleep all day. I hear the adults are less day-inclined. And pet stores and shelters stink.

[Cat food is a meal, buster. >:(] I'm gonna have to go to the store, then. Don't fuck anything up. There really isn't any other food here. [And he's out the door and into the night. What is his life even that a cat is bossing him around?]

[j_h_holliday]

[It's hard not to grin wide at the application of the napkin and how it just doesn't seem to help. Doc will press his lips together to stifle it.]

I cannot see a flaw in that plan.

[The next dish that is set down is steak, lobster tail and small, well cooked potatoes. Once again, Doc motions to the plate.]

muta ya jerk

[moonsized]

Picky picky. Get a dog, you can train it to sleep during the day.

[Not one he wants! Flavorless garbage.]

Right, right. Hurry up, I'm starving!

Gabe isn't exactly being nice, either.

[onlythestrong]

[He comes back about an hour later, loaded with groceries and not a single dessert in sight. He kicks the door closed behind him and heads toward the kitchen, placing everything on the counter.] Cat! Where are you? What the hell do you want to eat, you asshole?

pair of jerks = fun

[moonsized]

[Muta hasn't gone far--honestly, he just curled up on the nearest chair--but Gabe might notice that one of the windows in the place is open, somehow.]

Whatddya got? [He sticks his nose in the air to sniff.]

[moonsized]

It hasn't failed me yet!

He sets on all of that with just as much enthusiasm as before, though he glances up around the end of it. What're you gonna have? [He wants to know so he can get a heaping helping for himself.]

[moonsized]

[Muta shoots it a satisfied look.] You should finish it off with a cake for dessert, lady! [This is pretty good stuff, but there's always room for more.]

[j_h_holliday]

[John holds up his glass of Bourbon and gives the amber liquid a little swirl.]

I'm on a liquid diet.

[aphotic_auror]

OI! Cake?! Are you ruddy well Serious, cat?! [And Maria can't help but crack a small smile, as she thought of Sirius (Black) and how easily the big old dog would doubtless make this big old cat run.

[But then, she shakes her head and mutters under her breath:] What has my life become? Making "conversation" with a ruddy already-stuffed, full-ruddy-moon-sized cat, giving that overstuffed cat my dinner just because I cannot stomach it...

[onlythestrong]

I got steaks. And some chicken. I didn't like the look of the fish they had at the store so I skipped out on that. Some other stuff, too? [Potatoes, carrots, spices. Enough to get a decent meal going.]