(no subject)

[ohmygoat]

[Grading papers at a cafe, tiredly.]

Comments

[hollow_man]

[Peering.]

[ohmygoat]

[Maurice has always been fairly good at realizing when someone was looking at him, if only because in his family he and his cousins were locked in an eternal war to tattle on each other first.]

Can I help you with something? [He's not hostile. He's got coffee nearby, that makes hostility impossible at this point.]

[hollow_man]

~No, I'm just trying ter see wot yer correcting because I'm bored.~

[ohmygoat]

Essays on Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and what my students think the message of the play is. I've been making a drinking game out of everyone who's blatantly copied off of the internet. [Maurice gestures with his pen to the stack of empty coffee cups beside him.]

[hollow_man]

~Might work better wiv alcohol.

I never liked that play.~

[ohmygoat]

If I drank for this I'd never get through my morning class' pitiful attempts sober, and this shit doesn't grade itself.

I'm not asking anybody to like it. Just to write about it. They're high schoolers, they need to get used to the idea that there are things in life we all dislike but have to do to get by. It's part of the trade off for being able to count coffee as a food group and revel in the glory of No Pants Thursday in your own apartment.

[hollow_man]

~Be vastly more entertaining.

'Ave you ever actually met a teenager who believed you when you taught them that?~

[ohmygoat]

And expensive. They don't pay teachers well enough for us to drink too often.

No, but I take pleasure in that. Their future is going to really suck and that makes putting up with their bullshit in class a lot easier. [He grins. He can be kind of a dick when he feels like it.]

[hollow_man]

~True.

Brilliant.~

[ohmygoat]

We could get drunk if all of us piled out of the staff room and into a bar and pitched in, but I don't like my co-workers sober, I think drunk it's just a matter of time until a barfight breaks out.

I try.

[hollow_man]

~Don't like much, do you?~

[ohmygoat]

I like Shakespeare, reading, my pet goat Winter, my family, art films, bad art films, cream soda, everything Charles Sonnenburg has ever written or said, taking walks at three in the morning in the winter, eating pizza cold, making windchimes, rewatching Sapphire and Steel episodes, No Pants Thursday, pictures of cute baby animals, trolling YouTube comments, the way my boss looks when he's actually not angry for once, the smell of that aromatherapy bullshit eucalyptus 'spa' lotion, collecting pieces of jasper, baking, buying old Beanie Babies that I had as a kid - I'm amassing an army - and eating Chinese food while sitting on my windowsill.

Truly I am a sea of hate.

[free_r_kevin]

Working hard?

[hollow_man]

~...You've a goat?~

not a super hero, but an intergalactic savior?

[jacksonpollockpainter]

"Mind if I sit down with you? It's the only seat left?" asks awkwardly

[ohmygoat]

Well, it's that time of the year where major papers are due. I like to give my students a couple of papers before finals to help them boost their grade up so the final isn't devastating. But it could be worse.

[ohmygoat]

Why is that so weird to people?! That's always the thing people latch onto- yes, I have a pet goat. His name is Winter, and right now he's living with my parents while I try and find a place to rent where he can stay with me.

[hollow_man]

~Because most city dwelling people 'aven't even SEEN a goat.

Good name, anyway.~

[ohmygoat]

He's a fluffy white thing. Fairly gentle, although growing up on the farm he headbutted a few coyotes and one very unfortunate burglar got headbutted and trampled. See, I bottle-fed him after his mother died, so Winter thinks I'm his mother. It's... not a good idea to make him think you want to hurt me.

[hollow_man]

~Why would anyone want ter do that, then?~

[ohmygoat]

People underestimate the power of a goat. And most goats aren't as loyal to humans as Winter is to me, but again: he thinks I'm his mom. Which is good since it's starting to look like that's the only kid I'll be having.

[hollow_man]

~Did you want human children? ...I assume yer human.~

[ohmygoat]

Human is my working theory for the moment. I'm not sure if I wanted children, but I know I want someone to spend the rest of my life with. Without that, children seem like something I don't think I'm competent enough to handle.

[hollow_man]

~Well. Yer a good looking bloke, and yer educated and all that. Yer odds seem good.~

[ohmygoat]

You'd think so. But religious differences are hard to overcome and that's a stumbling block for most people, since I have no intention to change to get married.

[hollow_man]

~...religious?~

[ohmygoat]

Well, I suppose it's more like a lack of religion. Depends on if you view Satanism as a worship of the self - which I do - or you legitimately think there's a higher power in it, which is dubious but not impossible.

[hollow_man]

~LaVey-style satanism?~

[ohmygoat]

Yeah. It suits me well. But it's poorly understood by most people.

[hollow_man]

~I know a bit about all that. Just atheism wiv more fun outfits, really. Don't understand why people would mind it.~

[ohmygoat]

Did you miss the media frenzy of the 80's? No one actually researches it anymore, they just assume we're baby eating monsters. With fun outfits.

[hollow_man]

~The 'Satanic Panic' yeah? Didn't 'it England as 'ard as it did over 'ere, although I 'ave noticed there's a bit of a resurgence of that bollocks wiv some recent pedophile cases.

Wot about that lot in Ohio setting up the Baphomet statue? That's genius.~

[ohmygoat]

It did enough damage over here that people still side eye me. Parent teacher conferences are nightmares because I'm not allowed to tell anyone to grow the fuck up and Google it. One of the pains of my job, really.

That always makes me smile, yeah.

[hollow_man]

~I'll be frank, I'm shocked they let you teach.

It's a nice sculpture!~

[ohmygoat]

I typically leave it out of my teachings. Angry parents are nothing I'm new to, anyway. Besides, I get good grades out of my students.

[free_r_kevin]

It can always, always get worse.

[hollow_man]

~That's wot really matters.~