sixwordstories | (no subject)

Your old dead Grandma also smells better than you.

Hey wow super cool Left Field Pitcher, anything else you wanna throw at me while we're here?

A banana cream pie, but I don't have one because I ate it. And you started it!

It's the twenty first century and this isn't Bugs Bunny.

Look, I wouldn't have said it if your land speed wasn't slightly below recently amputated octopus.

...What do people throw in the twenty first century? Toasters?

And, just so you know, I can move faster I just don't want to. Some people don't have to show off all the time.

Punches.

Well some of us have to be somewhere before the heat death of the universe.

...If I punch you, are you going to think I'm a villain?

I've got faster ways to get around, and I've got all the time I ever need. Sorry that you apparently don't.

No but I might still punch you back on principle.

You are literally taking up just all of the space. All of it. I got places I gotta be.

Try it and I send you back to Romania in a suitcase! [It makes sense to her]

What's in it for me if I move any faster?

I am not even Romanian so that makes exactly no sense.

Not being yelled at by me.

Too bad because you will be after I send you back. 19th century Romania at that! To Transylvania.

...I want cupcakes too.

... Stop, now you're just looking silly, and it's hurting me.

No. It's either get out of my way or listen to me make fun of you until get to where I need to be, you don't get to have cupcakes.

...Oh, right. Silly. I am very silly, but now I want cupcakes.

You're a lucky guy today because normally, I'd crawl along for another hour. [With that, she disappears]

[Good, and away he goes

Nuh-uh! Your old dead grandma doesn't stand a chance against me!

Do you ever stop talking!

[There is some small part of Wade that says 'Maybe arguing with a giant robot is a bad idea'. But this part is badly abused and no one loves it]

Grandma Ethel could kick your ass any day of the week.

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Still waiting for you to do a thing since 1965.

[ He's going to do his best to behave himself, yup, because he's got to prove he can be responsible! ]

She could not! I've seen how human elders drive, and man do they drive sloooooow and a tad bit to the left. Oh! And they always mistake the breaks for the gas; so, old Ethel is blinder than a Vehicon.

Hey man don't talk about my grandma that way. What are you, some kinda grandma Nazi?

[Wade don't do this to the baby, he can't handle you-]

I'm telling my mom that you made fun of her mom.

[Kate grits her teeth and blocks out the sound of Wade's chatter. Finally, the moment comes up and she lets the arrow fly. After a few seconds, there's a nice explosion.]

Happy now?

[ Mock cowers in mock fear! ]

And what's she gonna do? Is she gonna go all mom on me?

No, you're slow as shit.

That's why guns rule and no one likes Hawkeye.

Maybe. Have you ever seen a human mom angry before?

[ He pauses to think, and he's seen Jack's mom in action. But then again he's got a head full of the finest hot air. ]

Yeah, but they ain't that scary.