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*A somewhat worried . . . thing is poking at him.* You should really get back to work!

[Snort. He wakes up and messes up the papers littering his desk.]

I t-told you not to-

[ A pause. ]

..Work?

Yes, work!

It's very important that everyone work hard, after all! So very important indeed! *Kevin widens his usual forced smile in a somewhat worried, and worrying, manner.*

Look, buddy. I think you've got -- got the wrong guy. I don't work. Not for you or anyone else.

[Oh. That smile. Trouble's a brewin. Rick's finger twitches and he glances towards his coat pocket.]

*Cue vaguely bewildered stare.* How can you not work?

[Work? Jobs?? No.]

Working is for stupid people. I'm way too busy for - work.

[He squints and looks generally pretty irritated at being woken up.]

Who the h-hell are you?

Work is more important than life itself! If we don't work enough we'll be fired . . . *From his tone, this means something rather more than just losing a job.*

I'm Kevin! What's your name?

[He notices that tone.]

So you're probably employed by some kinda oppressive c- -urp- company that will likely do horrible things to you if you put in your pinkslip.

Right?

[Not that he, yaknow, cares.]

*Grin.* Clever one, aren't you?

But really, you should get to work. People who don't work must be dealt with, that's the rules!

Wayy more than clever. Hey -

[ ..And he's not going to be made to, ew, work, without a fight either. Rick goes for something in his pocket. Kevin better stop him, unless he wants to be held up at plasmagun-point. ]

Why don't you go back to whatever bureaucratic hole you crawled out of? I don't work for your crappy company and I don't intend to sign any contracts.

*Kevin pulls a knife without even thinking about it. Literally. It's even odds whether he even knows he's done so.

*The knife has strange glowing runes on it, and is so sharp that just looking at the blade it slightly painful.*

I didn't intend to either. But I did anyway, and now everything is just wonderful! *A little giggle.* Mostly due to happy pills!

Take your happy pills and shove them up your -

[He fires the gun.]

[Click.]

[..nothing happens.]

[Shit. shitshitshit.]

*Another giggle.* What does that do?

*And he strikes out with the knife, still happily oblivious to his own attempts at murder.*

[ He squeezes the trigger again. Maybe it's jammed? No. Nothing happens. Deus ex machina stuff going on right here. He flings the broken weapon at Kevin's head instead in frustration. ]

[ The blade catches the hem of his coat as he moves out of the way. Rick makes a run for it. ]

The only thing you should be dealing with is a dentist appointment, pal!

Edited (wrong icon lol) 2015-07-24 21:51 (UTC)

*Kevin strikes out again with the knife. And with . . . other things. Strange, spiderlike limbs are doing all they can to keep their brainwashed owner safe.

*Kevin looks down at them in a pleasant, gently bewildered manner.* Darn, I liked this shirt.

[Gets nicked by the knife and stumbles over. Wait-]

Son of a b-

..Shouldn't you be doing something better w-with your time, like y'know, working?

[..and he can silently plot revenge, fix that gun, etc.]

But you're not working, and I don't want you to get hurt!

*I did say that he's kinda oblivious, right? Well . . . yeah.*

I'm not gonna get hurt by not working. I'm gonna get hurt by the KNIFE you're swinging at me!

*Blink blink.* Knife? What knife?

Oh. That knife. Don't worry, that's just for decorating with!

[He takes a flask out of his pocket and chugs a few gulps, pulling away to snap.]

Yeah, sure. D-decorating people's flesh, maybe.

You forgot the word 'with'! *And for half a second Kevin's eyes reflect an eternity of horror, self-hatred and pain, before the empty black overtakes them again.* Some people don't approve, but I'm quite sure they just don't like change!

[Nothing goes past him. Horror? Self-hatred? The hell?]

I'm a scientist, not a grammar teacher.

..You got issues, dawg.

[So does he, but that's irrelevant.]

Most people have issues, but I do not! I am perfect, made into my perfect self by the sacred light of the Smiling God!

It burns away imperfections and useless things and the desire to resist! And it created our wonderful corporate overlords so we could work and work and work and work!

StrexCorp! It is everything!

Real fuckin' issues.

Jeez.

[more chugging from his flask. yup.]

What are you drinking, and can I try?