sixwordstories | (no subject)

Aww! Well... Ducks are cute, too-- right...?

Yes, but when they grow up they're supper.

OI! Who ever told you that?! I mean, seriously, though: NOT IN FRONT OF DAFFY, here..... [And grinning impishly, she made an effort to clamp her hands over the poor duck's "ears"-- or at least, where their ears would be if they were an anthropomorphic creature such as Daffy Duck.]

Take it from me, ducks are far superior to brothers. They are smaller, less likely to hog all parental affection, and if they annoy you too badly, they taste nice roasted.

I did. I had duck lots of times.

[She frowns at her new pet, even though she is strangely attached to it already]

She coulda at least got me a puppy! Or a horse!

But I can't blame a duck for eating all of the ice cream or losing my report card. And I don't think ducks play cards.

That's the trouble with you people, you don't think things through. A duck is perfect to blame. A duck can't accuse you of lying.

Aww! Trust me, when I tell you that a duckling is a far superior pet to a puppy or a horse! Honestly: I think that you'd have to muck out the stables of a HORSE, and you'd still have to pick up the shh-- poop, of a PUPPY!, too! [And Maria pulls an expressive grimace, of course, as she considers the very IDEA of actually touching some other creature's excrement, even if it IS through a plastic glove or something of the sort!]

Cm'on, isn't this little guy too cute to give up on? [She gingerly pets the duckling, and it quacks rather-- loudly, considering its diminutive size!] Oi! Same to you, Daffy!

.... Sorry, have you named him yet?

My Mom's not stupid. She's never going to believe me if I blame the duck and that's even if I leave evidence.

...I could train the duck to eat report cards.

...I have to do all of that cleaning up with horses and puppies? I know what word you were going to say.

[She looks at the duck intently, trying do decide if it's name is Daffy]

Asmodeus. But you can call it Daffy for short.

They swim in water. All he has to do is drag it in.

Okay, so I train it to drag report cards into water. Do you know anything about duck training?

Lesser creatures work for food. It can't be that hard to motivate it.

Oh aye, indeed, you would! I mean, seriously: you think that dogs are smart enough to use the toilet? Or even a horse? And I'm fairly sure that your mummy won't want to do the work for you... [And Maria just tries to cover up her blush at the thought of an eleven year old knowing just what word she was about to let slip from her mouth; honestly, kids these days; what were they HEARING elsewhere?]]

Aw, that's a-- sweet name, I suppose... Asmodeus... Daffy! [Maria gins down at the duckling, who now is NOT going to be anyone's dinner: not if she has anything to say about it!]

I didn't think about that. I just thought the dog would be cute and I could ride the horse into the sunset. [Lynn giggles, because making adults blush is fun]

Asmodeus was a demon, but since you like Daffy that's his nickname.

Trust me when I tell you: no dog could possibly be as cute as this duckling-- although, full disclosure: I do NOT like dogs, at all...

Aww! A demon? Really? That doesn't seem like a very nice name for an innocent little duckling like this...

You're a smart guy. Thank you.

OI! Spoken like someone else who has an overachieving brother, if I may say so myself... Although, I will NOT permit any more talk of the poor duckling being roasted, or fried, or anything related to the cooking of Daffy, here! Is that perfectly understood, sir?

If you had my brother, you'd agree that one of us has to be the brains of the operation.

Why not? What's wrong with dogs?

I like demons and the duck likes his names. Since he's the closest I get to a brother, I'm going to make him strike fear in the hearts of my enemies, and all of my friends are gonna love him.

I'll trade you, especially if yours isn't that smart.

[He eyes the duck speculatively.]

Afraid you wouldn't be able to blame missing report cards on my brother, either. He's tedious that way.

Oh, y' know... it's nothing, really! Just-- well. A friend of a friend of mine is a dog, who absolutely managed to terrify me, by jumping all over me, with his grubby paws all OVER me! [She shudders a little at the memory of THAT particular introduction to "Padfoot".]

Aww! Indeed, does he really? How can you tell? [And as if to inform this lowly human just how they could tell whether or not he liked a name, the duck quacked loudly again, and nipped lightly at Maria's fingers.] OW! Alright, alright, then... Asmodeus...

That is to say: I am your friend, right, sweetie? Not an enemy in whose heart there needs to be fear...?

It's okay, I'll make do with my duck. I'll train him to be vicious and to drag homework into water.

Did you tell your friend to check himself? [Lynn is now concerned, and wants to give that friend a stern talking to!]

See? He's going to be my guard duck. I'll tell him to protect you too. And I'll help. We're going to keep you safe but you have to ask us to help, because I don't always know what's happening everywhere.

Honestly? No, I did not... Because, well-- he's a dog, and also: because I was too fudging terrified to protest! [And Maria smiles sheepishly at that admission, of course, even as she manages to successfully censor her own foul mouth.]

Aww... Cheers very much, dear, but-- well. If there are no dogs involved in the ruddy situation, I can more or less take care of myself!

...Of course, if there is a dog involved, then I'll gladly hide behind you and Daffy, here! [Maria grins and winks softly at Lynn.]

[Offers the little girl a banana with his dear little trunk, whilst making appealing happy-noises]

[She takes the banana] Hi! I bet you're better than some silly duck. My name's Lynn.

[Moshti trumpets. He knows Lynn from Lynn's future, and is well-trained enough to offer his trunk as a handshake.]

[However, he doesn't think Asmodeus is silly.]

[Lynn laughs and shakes his hand/trunk]

Do you want some juice? Asmodeus won't drink it because he's a duck. I'm going to train him to attack my enemies.

[Juice! Oh he loves juice. Moshti sort of .. nods. He nods his whole body, slightly, and waves his trunk around. But he'll need it in a bowl.]

[Lynn knows this, so she is already getting him a big bowl of juice]

Do you know what's really silly? Mom only got the duck because it was cheap. We were at the pet store and she kept asking the price. I think I like the duck a little.

[Practicably squeaking whit delight, Moshti plunges his trunk into the bowl and starts swallowing.]

[While she talks, he drinks and watches with big eyes. He likes the duck. Asmodeus is fearsome. Daddy says so. And very cool]