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Trouble in paradise? [A grin.] Or are you thinkin' of takin' up scrapbooking?

[SPACE BRO FIST-BUMP]

Scrap...booking....?

Ah. A form of thy "belly aching," to which thou art so enamored?

[SUPER SPACE BRO FIST BUMPSPLOSION]

Whoa! Pump yer brakes there, Bill. I don't do th'belly-aching. [Much.] And it's, like, a photo album bored suburban housewives make when they're feelin' nostalgic.

Verily, it doth sound appropriate for Beta Ray Bill.

Holdeth mine hammer, Oni Girard...

--Quoi? [Oni's heard the story of Thor's hammer, and she assumes Bill's operates the same way. So she's not sure if he's trying to make a joke at her expense, or put her through the floor.] You want me to hold your hammer?

Yea; thou shalt henceforth be encumbered with the intergalactic sojourns of charity, upon which Beta Ray Bill heretofore was clearly wasted.

Alas, had I only discovered book scrapping sooner!

[He ashamedly held out his enchanted hammer, melodramatically burying his face in the crook of his arm. Of course, she stood about as good of a chance of lifting the Chrysler Building as Stormbreaker.]

[Yep. Definitely making a joke at her expense. Her grin promises instant retribution.] Unfortunately for you, I've already been chosen t'be one deity's lackey. So until Gaia makes me a free-agent, I'm afraid you're gonna have t'pawn th'Windbreaker off on somebody else.

And what exactly are you pondering?

[Bill gnarled his inhuman teeth at her. She can take it.]

Oni Girard, thou knowest quite well my mallet's moniker!

Pondering if certain fair elf maidens art still whole, after all these centuries.

*She gave him a sad little smile. A lot had happened since he last saw her.*

I am, more or less, I suppose. And how do you fair?

[She can take it. In return, Bill gets this smile, like butter wouldn't melt.] Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I might remember it better if you'd drop th'damn surname, and just call me "Oni!"

[He blinked blank eyes at her with a very convincing ignorance, but Oni's smile was like looking into the Sun. Internally, Bill withered ~~Just the Two of Us~~ against the onslaught of her gleeful countenance.]

Verily, the only sobriquet I have adorned thee with is Oni Girard. What madness doth thou speak?

Each new day bringeth cause to celebrate, Tauriel. Another day to sow good charity.

It has been a long time since I have had cause to celebrate.

*But she did not wish to put her troubles on his shoulders, and so she moved forward.*

Though... I am still standing. I suppose there must be a reason for that.

*What that reason was, she did not know, but there had to be something. She needed to find some hope.*

[The patient space horse kept an easy demeanor.]

Whom doth thou struggle against to make thee so melancholy, dear Tauriel?

My own heart, I suppose.

*She sighed, and looked over at him.*

I am sorry, I do not mean to be so melancholy. I tried to save one I held dear and ultimately failed, and was banished for my actions, and inadvertently may have hurt someone else I cared for as a brother.

It has been a difficult road of late.

Ah. Turmoil of the heart, a fierce opponent. And banished, sayeth thee?

I am. My King was... less than happy with my actions of late.

*She was looking a little more worn than usual.*

It seems I am on my own now.

[She isn't buying the innocent act. This isn't the first time she's made the acquaintance of an extraterrestrial entity who insisted on using her full name, but Bill was by far the most stubborn ~~and that's saying something~~.]

Exactly! "Girard" is my family name, not a nickname. You don't hear me callin' you "Bill, the last scion of Korbin" every five minutes. I'm savin' that for a special occasion, like a wedding, or a funeral, or you just won a gold medal in keg-stands.

[Bill chose to look past the other two events and their associated sorrow and focus on the gold medal. The bulky space cyborg sidled up to the pint-sized firecracker with a horse-like snort, squinting his skeptical squint.]

At thy behest, So Shall It Be: henceforth, Oni Girard, thou shalt be 'Oni.'

Wouldst thou care to sojourn once more through the sky with Beta Ray Bill?

Yes! [Mental fist-pump. She'd only had to eat her weight in strange meat and have a near-brush with alcohol poisoning but, finally, the she-wolf got her way. After that feat, she thinks she'll try her hand at world peace.]

What brings you planet-side? I'm not distractin' you from anythin' important, am I? 'Looked like you were deep in thought, a minute ago.

Yea, thou hast confounded Beta Ray Bill from the blazing orphan fires of Nebulon 5....

That is a kind offer. But it has been a long time, am I not too big now for such a thing?

'Tis not my aim to fluster thee; say thee 'nay' and I shan't perturb thee.

But if thou art alone, Tauriel, then by the same measure is Beta Ray Bill.

[He's feeling feisty, today. Oni crosses her arms beneath her breasts with mock gravity.] Really? Well... Then, for th'sake of Nebulon 5, I'd better let you get to it.

[Bill sat down on the ground with a heavy THUD, resting Stormbreaker on the ground beside him. He laid back and closed his eyes, on the soft ground, his nostrils taking in the earthy scent.]

It pleases me to see thee.

It's good t'see you too, Bill.

[With a grin and a gallic shrug, Oni settles down on the ground too, though, unlike Bill, she fails to leave an impact tremor. Sitting cross-legged in the grass, she looks up at the night sky, listening to the crickets make their music.] Would I be able to see it from here? Nebulon 5?

[He opened an eye, peeking at the sky. His supernaturally powerful peeper peered through the heavens, before he closed it again and went back to enjoying the feeling of the Earth against him. His connection to Gaia was a distant one, perhaps hardly worthy of mention. Perhaps as likely, Gaia would disagree. Who is to say how she regards her son's oath-brother?]

[Bill enjoyed the peace of the chilly forest, so much unlike the blazing deserts which he would normally call home. So much life everywhere. Birds and bugs and badgers. Deserts for him now seeped sorrow like blowing sand into the heart. 'Do you remember that place long ago which shall never be again?']

Nay, Oni. We art turned not toward him. And even were we so, 'tis a distant sphere. At this range even I might overlook him, in all his wet glory. Nebulon be but one great ocean, aside from a lone mountain which defies it.

[Oni's connection to Gaia is intrinsic. The pain and anger of the violated goddess are the sources of her own power, but it's more than that... Oni is herself a creature of nature, half-spirit. She knows the face of every rocky escarpment in these woods, and can tell you the changes men have made to them over the course of the last century, however, at times like now, she prefers to think less on the damage already wrought and more on the natural beauty that remains.]

Glad I don't live there. Though y'gotta respect that solitary mountain, flippin' the metaphorical bird through th'ages at th'elements strivin' t'tear him down. Kinda like someone I know.

[Was she talking about him? In his rock-like stillness, some sort of critter crawled across him. Bill relaxed and drew strength from the Earth.]

Yea, the mount be noble. But so too be the sea. Though I expect thee be even less a diver than I?

The wonders I could shew thee, Oni!

[Having interstellar eyes and lungs was very helpful 20,000 leagues under the sea, and the ocean world of Nebulon V was teeming with things to see. Cities and creatures and caves...Bill exhaled thinking about exploring that wet world once more. Although the sea was far from his preferred environment, his natural love of exploration compelled him to submerge from time to time.]

Ha! You expect right.

[Unlike with flying, Oni wouldn't say she had a fear of the sea-- Only a deep, cautious respect that kept her from dabbling in its depths. The closest body of water that big was the Atlantic, and it was positively ancient. Standing on its shores at the Bay of Fundy, Oni could hear its song even if she couldn't comprehend it. It's voice was just like the ocean itself: Unfathomable, unknowable. In all her life, she'd never felt half so small as she did then.]

I like t'keep my feet on th'ground, you may've noticed.

[The cyborg space horse began to doze in and out of consciousness, becoming only dimly aware of the world, like some weary hoplite setting down his heavy shield. All the energy he could sense through Stormbreaker became quiet; one by one, things he was aware of slipped away from him. The rotation of the planet, the music of the crickets, the currents of the atmosphere, the light beyond his eyelids. He let himself drift like a fluffy dandelion sprout on the air.]

Couldst thou be, mayhap, too enamored of this terrain floor?

[Did he really just accuse her of using the Earth like a security blankie? And was he falling asleep on her?? Giving the space cyborg a sidelong look, Oni follows suit, stretching out on the hard ground beside him; It was unseasonably warm, but the wind was still cold though she seemed not to mind.] No! ...Well, maybe. Is that really so bad? Most people don't love it enough. And, besides, I wasn't given wings... Or gills, for that matter. I go where I like, and do as I please, but I don't have th'urge t'push my boundaries th'way men do.

[A field mouse climbed up Bill's helmet, up his long snout, and rested between his nostrils for a spell before darting away when the alien opened his eye. It is easy to fall asleep in the middle of nowhere when you are largely invulnerable and have nothing to steal. To his lack of surprise, Oni seemed every bit as comfortable as he. No great distress on the horizon, no injustice to make right. A good friend near and the peace of the untouched Canadian wilderness.]

Goeth thou where ye like: wherefore doth thou go? Tell me of the emprises of my dear Oni.

[Oni raised her arms, pillowing her dark head with them. Such peace was not meant to last, so she enjoyed it for however long she could. Bill's question amused her; Obviously, she never traveled by air or sea ~~when she could help it~~, but after 200-plus-years of aimless wandering, and a decade worth of being a professional punching-bag, Oni's seen her share of adventure... Even though it must all pale in comparison to Bill's escapades.] Th'Lenape still tell stories about some of the dumb stuff I got into when I was younger. At th'risk of soundin' like Johnny Cash, cher, how much time have y'got?

Wanderlust is part of th'curse... [She glanced at the space viking, half-asleep a few feet from her; He's witnessed two of her shapes, and not likely to blab about what he's seen, so it feels alright to tell him this little bit.] Up until some years ago, I stayed this side of th'Rockies. I have no business in th'tundra. And, until quite recently, I never traveled further south than th'bottom of Lake Michigan-- Too crowded. Everywhere else? You can assume I've been.

I am very much alone. I cannot go home, and I do not know my way forward.

*She sighed, turning to look out at the landscape before her, towards the horizon.*

It is a dark road ahead of me, I fear. I am not the girl you once knew any more.

...mmmmmm...

[In his half-consciousness, Bill's mind wandered over the surface of the planet he had seen. He did not know the Earth features by name, so he guessed. Rocks and lakes and forests and mountains; before long, the cyborg was slumbering in the mist of these memories. He unconsciously began to breathe very evenly.]

Mayhap not, and a dark wood lay before thee. But the sky still welcomes. N'ere wilt thou be a burden to my back, while I draw breath.

... And that's when I stopped takin' peyote-- [Was that a snore? The she-wolf rose up on one elbow to get a closer look...] He's asleep.

[Her lips twitched.] Didn't think it was that boring. [With a laugh, Oni pushed herself up from the ground. She softly hummed "Au Clair de la Lune" under her breath as she searched the forest-floor for tinder. Hopefully, when the slumbering space-cyborg awoke, he wouldn't be alarmed by the roaring fire.]

[As he dreamed of unknowable things, long ago things in the future and future things long ago, wars he had nearly won and battles he had nearly lost, the last son of Korbin felt the familiar flicker of the flame on his skin. He unconsciously drew himself ever closer to the fire, even as for some reason he dreamed of ashes and the moon. Perhaps Oni's humming was to blame.]

[Eventually, if not perturbed, Bill's heart would betray him in his slumber, and he would come to rest in the bonfire itself. How sweetly he would dream in such unbridled warmth?]