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I didn't get to do anything.

You horribly poisoned someone. That was pretty neat, I thought.

Unless you meant the final battle?

I didn't get to do anything either.

They made me reverse it. If they just let her die she never would have opened the portal or almost killed my Mom again.

Yes. I know.

They're working under the assumption that children are innocents and should go around killing people.

It really would have solved a great deal of problems.

They don't know anything about me.

No?

I'm not an innocent.

What's your definition of innocent?

I could have done with less slime. [Still reeling over everything that's happened to some extent. Hence bravado.]

That one's not my fault.

[He sniffs.]

I guess I can accept that.

I would have done something more interesting if it had been my fault.

[He pulls him into a quick hug.]

But how are you?

Apparently little you did. Rainbow slime.

[He doesn't resist, but he doesn't respond as enthusiastically as usual.. for all of one second. Then he virtually buries himself in Alec.]

[Falling apart now you mention it.]

I'm good. It's cool. It's over.

Startling me into action does lead to interesting results.

[Holding him tighter, he runs his fingers through Phoenix's hair.]

Liar.

[Vahl getting covered in rainbow slime should be funny. It should be the first thing Phoenix mentions, and laughs at. He doesn't.]

I dunno what to think. How to feel. It's all shite.

[It should be, but it's not the right time for that. When time passes he'll be able to laugh. But for now...]

I don't think there's a set rule of how you should feel in this case.

[He kissed his forehead gently.]

But yes, it is all shite. War is messy; people make decisions that they think is the right at the time without thinking about the full consequences.

[Phoenix hums at the kiss, and draws back a bit to find part of Alec's cheek and kiss that.]

If that's all this is, I can get right behind it, you know? Pressures of Command, making tough calls. But this? coupled with something else he did recently, I get scared he's..

I don't even know. Fooling me again. Not that he did that the first time, but. I can't help thinking it. Maybe he did. Maybe he is.

What else did he do?

[He won't say anything else until he knows what Phoenix is thinking. There are too many possibilities otherwise.]

He went on this... he found this guy, right? Not someone I'd consider saving, I know that, but fuck. He broke the guys mind. Fucked him up so bad, he's never gonna be sane again.

Someone he had no grudge against. A random.

[Ah. Yes. That. He sighs because he knows that his younger self had no problem with it. Had suggestions for it, even. It probably doesn't help that Alec still feels that way.

Closing his eyes briefly, he tries to pull words together. He's already hurt Phoenix enough because this happened because of him and he doesn't want to hurt him any more than he has to.]

Vahl... is trying to figure himself out now that he's back in the world and dealing with people other than you. And as much as you'd like him to be he's not a good man. Any more than I am.

He can care. He can love. But he's not good.

And he needs to find outlets for it.

Which he didn't realize when he did that.

[Phoenix had thought he didn't have a problem with it, and at the time he had meant it, but had pushed it aside. He hasn't really dealt with it head on.]

We already talked it through. I guess I hadn't got as far thinking it wasn't a one-off.

And I know. I told him he's a force of nature, like you. So I know.

Old wounds though. Feels a bit raw. Being arrested makes it bigger than just me and him. Bigger and scarier.

[Gently, Alec tapped Phoenix on the head.]

You understand here, about him.

[And then he tapped him on the chest.]

But I don't know if you understand here, yet.

You've been with me for how long? You've seen me grow into the man I am now. We did it together...[He paused] Sort of...

Do you know why he and I went tornado surfing?

[He puts a hand to his chest once Alec has touched it. There's the missing link. Phoenix makes allowances for Alec with his heart. He's not giving Vahl that same consideration.]

I lose count. But yeah.

To let off steam? Bond?

[He closes his eyes briefly. He doesn't want to say this, but Phoenix should know this.]

To hear people scream. To feel the destruction that came with a tornado as it tore up people's lives. To feel its raw destructive power. They went back in time because they knew the destruction already happened, they couldn't cause any more harm than already happened.

I suppose bonding did happen. But that's not why they went.

[He listens and is quiet for some time. It's not a horrible silence, more a whirring of cogs and the firing of connections.]

I think I get it.

Not the screaming thing, 'cause we both know I couldn't do that without trying to help people. And not the need for it - not quite anyway. Yet.

But I get it because what you just said to me I understood in my heart, 'cause it came from you. And the tornado surfing was you and Vahl. So I understood both of you here.. [He touches his chest.]

Edited 2016-01-13 22:14 (UTC)

[Alec is certain it'll take Phoenix a bit longer to really get it, but this is a start which he'll take.]

You're a kind angel. Good and wonderful and I would do anything to keep you like that.

[He takes Phoenix's hand and gives it a kiss.]

If anything, their bonding over the destruction will channel it properly so things like what happened to that man won't happen again.

[Alec is right. Phoenix should have said he's started to get it. He'll realise that and a few other things later one.]

I'm an arsehole. [He doesn't want to fall. Too vivid an imagination for the possibilities.] But I love you for that.

[He offers his other hand too, wrapping his fingers around Alec's]

What if it does happen again? Vahl as good as told me he couldn't make that promise.

[Which Alec knows. Phoenix tries to see the best in people.]

That doesn't stop you from being a good and wonderful person.

[And he'll destroy galaxies to keep it that way. Taking the hands he kisses them again.]

Then it happens again and you have to decide if you can live with it. If you can live with someone who does that.

[His voice is soft and apologetic when he says it.]

[He's never though he's that. Good. Or wonderful. But to hear Alec say it is probably what he needs.]

[He allows the kissing and tries to nuzzle a bit.]

I'm someone who does that. Only I get orders. Is that justification? Is it any different from freelancing?

[He doesn't really expect Alec to provide answers, that would be unfair. But Alec is the only one he can really pour out his deeper worries to.]

[He is to Alec, which is the only thing that matters.]

[The nuzzling is always welcomed, but Phoenix's questions bother him because he has no idea exactly how to describe the difference. There is one. Phoenix wouldn't do it normally. If he had a choice. Alec and Vahl... they'd do it gleefully if they were left to their own devices.

They weren't angels after all.

The question is, did he actually want to answer that question?

Hah.

It shows on his face as he hesitates to give the answer.]

[Alec may have that a little skewed. The hunt and the kill, the danger, gives Phoenix an adrenaline rush he's sort of addicted to. There are times when he enjoys what he is. What he can do. He's just not relating to it right now.

Although 'gleeful' is not the first word he'd pick.]

No.. don't. It's okay. [He kisses Alec's jaw.] I'm looking for some kind of absolution. Confirmation. I dunno what I'm looking for but you're not the one who can give it.

[That sort of thing Alec puts in the same category as how the McCallums view the world. They enjoy the hunt and the kill and the danger. They're addicted tot he adrenaline rush. But they do it to stop the screaming not to start the screaming.

Which is the difference.]

I suppose you're the only one who can figure that one out.

[He runs a finger down the side of Phoenix's face.]

But I'm here if you need me. This me is.

[That really does make all the difference.]

Mhh. I'll get my head screwed on, then maybe you can abduct me. I want that time alone with you.

[Of course one thing after another, now he has Lynn for a week, and needs to know where things stand with vahl first.]

I know. [Small kiss.] I needed you and here you are.

I'll tie you up and take you away as soon as you're ready. Maybe a little bit before.

[He smirked against Phoenix's lips when he gets kissed.]

I might be an annoying rat bastard, but I still love you.

Yeah? [A bit of that cheeky grin begins to come back.] Throw me over your shoulder and carry me off to your lair?

[That sounds great about now, and Phoenix even colours a bit.]

You're the biggest pain in the arse I ever met. But I still love you too.

I was thinking Risa, actually. Nothing quite like a pleasure planet to relax a bit. And if you'd like me to toss you over my shoulder bound and gagged, I can do that.

[Yes, good. Cheeky grins and blushing is wonderful.]

Good. I wouldn't be doing my job if I weren't.

[He looks around them, a wee bit flustered. ] Now you're making me go all... stop it.

[Don't stop it. Never stop doing that.]

Hey, maybe when I'm a few billion years older, I'll join you.

Hum... Maybe gagging isn't a good idea. I won't be able to see that pretty face of yours.

[He won't.]

We'll see. Though I'm not sure if the multiverse could deal with you being a pain in the ass.

[Never stopped Vahl, but that doesn't seem an appropriate observation at this point.]

I uh. Right...

[Sorry Alec, he's momentarily lost the capacity for speech.]

[Well, that's Vahl. Vahl and Alec are two different people. Quite different. And thus have different ideas of what to do with Phoenix. Variety!]

So. I hear you have a new office!

[Wide evil grin.]

Care to show me?

[Praise be for variety.]

[Phoenix groans. But this time, does not mention cold showers.]

Uh. Yeah. New office. Not yet though, not 'til the new building's ready. But you need to swing by and I'll give you the tour.

I look forward to it.

[Probably a good idea.]

Want to go elsewhere?

[He'll drop it after this.]

[He needs to be doing stuff. Something. Anything. Sorting his head out. But the need to just get a little time with Alec overrides it.]

Can we just... I dunno. get away for an hour or so, then you could bring me back before anyone knows I've gone?

[His grin grows wider and he grabs Phoenix by the front of his shirt before yanking him off to some poor sod's empty office.]

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