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Current Mood: depressed
Current Location: OTA

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roleplay

(no subject)

Autistics like me can't be helped.

What do you need help with?

Everything. Talking to people, especially. Impulse control. I don't know where to start with a list. I'm pretty broken. [If his father had imparted nothing else to him, it was that there was nothing alright about being the way he was. Unfortunately it's been a lesson that, while untrue, has stuck.]

That's not broken. [Janie is annoyed, but at whoever told the young man he was broken. She doesn't see anything wrong] You're talking to me, aren't you? So take that off your list, and you're young so impulse control isn't even really a thing yet.

I used to not talk at all. Now that I do, I'm not very good at it. I offend people, I get too loud, or too quiet... [he tries to picture the last time his incredibly bad impulse control ruined things and winces as he adds,] Sometimes I just shutdown. Mid-conversation. Sometimes I run.

[Broken. Headed nowhere in life. He knows his nature. Even his mom wishes she could cure him, although he's eavesdropped to get that information - she would never say it to his face.]

It sounds like you get overwhelmed sometimes. That happens. Its okay. Do you sign?

[Janie knows a little about the spectrum and is just trying to be nice]

No, I don't. I wanted to learn, but my father wouldn't let me, and now that I live with my mother it feels too late to learn. I mean, people learn that stuff when they're kids, right?

[He appreciates Janie's efforts, even though signing seems like an impossibility these days. In all fairness, Embrik's mother was trying to raise him on her own after a point and supporting a child without help took up a lot of her time even without factoring in his quirks.] If I knew where to go, I'd like to try to learn, though.

It's not too late. There's videos if you don't want to go to a class, or I could teach you. And I can find a class, you might even find one with other people on the spectrum.

It's not too late. I don't think it's ever too late.

Videos might be good. Especially since I have a hard time sleeping. I'm not so sure about a class or you teaching me, I don't want to mess something up again. My freak outs scare people. And I don't want to do that to you or in front of a lot of people.

Does that make sense? I'm not... I'm not so good at explaining things. [He usually tried to avoid conversation. Then again, people were usually condescending to him, and that wasn't happening here. For once, Embrik feels like someone is going out of their way to be a good person. He wishes he knew how to put words to how grateful he feels.]

The videos are called 'Signing time' if you have Netflix, if not, I'll get you the DVDs. They are geared for kids, but they're great. A Mom had a deaf kid and made them to help others learn.

And I understand. It's not always easy with other people. Thank you for talking to me. I'm just trying to be helpful.

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