sixwordstories | (no subject)

Laughter's what you want, isn't it?

[ isn't it? ]

Of--of course not! The revolutionary Thneed is the pinnacle of seriousness.

It can be anything!

Laugh at you? Goodness- I would never do such a thing to an inventor. All creations are marvels.

Oh--oh. Well, thank you. I apologize.

There's no need to apologise to me, sir. In fact I would love to hear about your invention.

It's a sweater with too many arms and a hole in the middle, I wouldn't call that an invention so much as a mistake.

Not only that, but you're completely destroying everything around you to make them.

One tree, man. One tree.

*Huffy sigh.*

It's revolutionary----use your imagination!

The Thneed, is a revolutionary product only limited by the user's imagination!

*Once happily unfurled the fuzzy monstrosity to show it off.*

One tree so far. I've seen where that leads.

There was a time when a squirrel could cross half of America and not touch the ground, you know. But that time is over now.

Uhh....riiiiigghhht. Our ancestors were also eaten by bears. Progress is a good thing.

Hey, I made a promise to a friend. So, I'm not cutting anymore trees.

By bears, yes. And other things.

Ah, yes. Promises to keep.

Look, I promised Mustache, and really, if I work on it, I can make something to harvest tufts without cutting the whole tree down.

It's probably a moot point. I haven't sold one yet.

If you do sell one I'll be amazed, lad.

On that note, what's your name?

I'm the Once-ler. Yes, that's actually my name. No, I don't know what my mom was thinking.

...the "the" is optional.

*He chuckles.* Good Lord knows what she was thinking, eh? But then, I could say the the same of whoever decided that the surname 'Cahoon' should be spelled C-o-l-q-u-h-o-u-n.

If my dad had gotten his way, I would have been "Rhett" to go with my brothers, Brett and Chet. But, hey, no one has ever forgotten my name, so, I guess that's good.

Yes, I suppose it is.

But I think I'll just call you 'lad'--it's a bit easier to say.

I've been called worse.

Good lad.

It's certainly better than the other names I thought of. *He smirks.*

....probably nothing I haven't heard before.

*At least he hoped.*

Well, the main other one was toothpick--you're awfully skinny.

Not the first time I've been told that. Annoys my mom, always has.

Really, you ought to eat more. There's barely any meat on those bones at all.

....there's more important things to do, usually. Like work.

That won't keep you alive, lad. You'll need a bit of fat to burn if you want to be working in the woods in any case.

Your invention looks mighty strange.

… Ah.

[ she tilts her head to the side, trying to figure out its basic shape. ] You said 'limited by the user's imagination', correct?

Everything looks strange at first. That's just part of creating something new and revolutionary!

What does it do?

Anything! Everything!

That's what's so revolutionary about it.

Er. Thanks for the concern?

I usually fix a good breakfast.

You just fold it. It'll stay in the shape you like.

*It looked like pajamas for an alien, or a sweater gone wrong.*

Can it be a tent?

Alright, you've lost me.

A Thneed can be whatever you need it to be. My invention. It's gonna be revolutionary!

*Fluffy, fuzzy, pink. And he's so serious about it.*

Yeeees. I'd recommend putting two together though, if you wanted a roomy tent.

Can you show me how to do it?

Sure!

*He stretched the Thneed out as if he were pulling taffy. After a few tries he managed to make a general 'tent' like shape.*

You'd need stakes.

I tend to have bacon for breakfast, myself. What do you like?

Pancakes.

Or, whatever the rest of the family wants.

Ah yes, family.

I must admit, I'm glad to be on a different continent than mine.

[ she tries not to giggle at its form, covering her mouth. ]

So if I fold it into, say, a hat then it'll stay a hat?

I have stakes

...How much you asking?

... Is that science or magic?

[ this question, he's actually asking it. ]

Uh.

I'm assuming science, but, the trees that I get the tufts from are pretty weird. And cutting them down apparently summons obnoxious orange creatures who eat all the food in your refrigerator.

But, I'm still going to go with science, because, I'm not magical in the least.