(no subject)

[candysgirl]

I'm not wearing a corset again.

Comments

[borrowed_time]

Why not? I love my corset. Makes me look like I have boobs.

[candysgirl]

It's uncomfortable! I can barely breathe.

[borrowed_time]

So loosen it up a little.

sorry!

[candysgirl]

They're not supposed to be very tight? I must have misunderstood the woman in the shop.

No problem!

[borrowed_time]

You want tight but it doesn't have to be rib crackin', no breathin' kinda tight. Just tight enough to hold you in.

[colonelcannibal]

Good. There's a reason that every woman in the Victorian era fainted at the drop of a hat.

[candysgirl]

I feel like I'm nearly ready to faint.

[candysgirl]

...I'm not trusting a person in a shop again. Thank you.

[colonelcannibal]

You might want to take it off, then.

[borrowed_time]

[She laughs.] You're welcome.

[candysgirl]

That is a good idea. One moment while I find my scissors...

[candysgirl]

...I suppose that I don't need to wear the spanx with it either.

[borrowed_time]

Wait. You wear them both at the same time? Why? They do essentially the same thing.

[colonelcannibal]

I can do it for you without the scissors, if you'd like? I'm rather good at knots and things.

[candysgirl]

Yes, that is fine... Thank you. (she lifts the back of her shirt, where the corset is tied in a very tight knot)

[candysgirl]

Yes, to get my waist in the right shape.

[borrowed_time]

What's wrong with the shape of your waist? You look great.

[candysgirl]

Thank you... It's supposed to be smaller. I listened to the woman explain waist training to me for about twenty minutes.

[colonelcannibal]

*He shakes his head at the tightness and starts to loosen it.* Honestly, whoever invented these things ought to be shot. Although I suppose he's probably dead by now anyway . . . perhaps we could shoot his gravestone?

[candysgirl]

I agree, he is probably dead. [Cassie is on the verge of passing out]

[colonelcannibal]

*He gets it loose enough for her to breathe properly, at least.* Why is it tied in the back, hmm? Idiotic thing.

Why were you wearing one, anyway?

[candysgirl]

Waist training... the salesperson said it was the best way.

[colonelcannibal]

Never pay attention to salespeople, they say . . . whatever will make you buy useless junk, frankly.

Good Lord, does 'waist training' even mean anything?

It's a real thing

[candysgirl]

I think that I may have learned that lesson.

Waist training is supposed to train my waist to be smaller.

Sounds idiotic

[colonelcannibal]

That sounds like a great plan if you want to crush your organs.

[borrowed_time]

Fuck that lady. Your waist isn't supposed to be anything other than what it is. Don't let some corset peddling bitch decide that for you. Her standard of beauty doesn't have to be yours. Personally, I like corsets but not because someone told me to. I told you. I like how they make my boobs look. Plus, I'm so skinny already that there's no waist to train so they aren't uncomfortable for me. You gotta do you, honey.

[candysgirl]

Well then, I don't think I like them at all. I wanted to look hot, but I'll find another way. I don't want to deal with discomfort.

[borrowed_time]

Right on. So what prompted this need for hotness?

[candysgirl]

I wanted to impress a guy. I have a good girl image and wasn't sure he, or other guys liked that.

[borrowed_time]

Really? What guy? Where'd you meet him?

[candysgirl]

He was investigating a case, and had a few questions for me and we hit it off. He is so nice!

Lots of fads are, unfortunately.

[candysgirl]

Diet and exercise is the only other solution.

[borrowed_time]

Working a case, huh? So he's a cop?

[candysgirl]

He's FBI.

[borrowed_time]

Damn. You nabbed yourself a Mulder! Is he Duchkovney levels of hot?

Quite.

[colonelcannibal]

Then perhaps you ought to try them.

[candysgirl]

Which one is he again? I think he's very hot. I like him a lot.

[borrowed_time]

[Blinks] What? How... X-Files. Tell me you know what X-Files is.

[candysgirl]

Is it television or music?

[borrowed_time]

Girl! You are killing me.

[candysgirl]

Does Netflix have it?

[borrowed_time]

Yes! Yes it does. Watch it all. Even after Duchkovney leaves because it ties into the movie and new episodes.

[candysgirl]

Give me enough time to binge watch it and I'll have an answer for you. I love binge watching.

[borrowed_time]

Alright, well, get on it.

[candysgirl]

You're invited, I will make popcorn and buy cheap sodas.

[borrowed_time]

Can I pick the brand of popcorn?

[candysgirl]

Yes. What brand? Maybe you should go shopping with me?

[borrowed_time]

Orville redenbacher kettle corn. Only the normal size though. The individual servings ones aren't vegan for some reason. But yeah, I can go with you.