sixwordstories | (no subject)

Hermitville sounds lame. Margaritaville is much nicer this time of year.

Not when you are babysitting brats in Margaritaville.

Leave the brats at home! Let someone else babysit them! You can't get your drink on if you're playing babysitter.

Who do I call to come rescue me?

I've found the hotel staff to be pretty helpful, so long as you tip them well.

Wait, why am I tipping them? I need the money more.

I mean, you don't have to tip them, but they're going to be less inclined to go above and beyond for you. You slip 'em a $100 and they get a lot more friendly.

Unless you give me a $100, Hermitville sounds a lot cheaper and less complicated.

You're going to need a lot more than $100 for week or two in Margaritaville.

The story of my life, babe. The whole entire story.

No offense, but the story of your life sounds like a total bummer buzzkill.

Can't argue with that. At least I'm not reminding people of Jimmy Buffett songs.

If loving tequila is wrong, I don't want to be right.

I'll remind you of that when you're puking every where in the morning.

Please! I don't puke. What kind of wimpy ass little girl do you take me for?

I heard this before. Next thing I know it's full on exorcist head spinning crap and flying puke.

Edited 2016-08-18 08:35 (UTC)

Frankly, I find the lack of trust to be incredibly offensive. I've held my own with people who have, like, superhuman metabolisms. I haven't puked since-- well, it wasn't because I was drinking, okay? I'm good.

There I thought I lost my amazing gift of being incredibly offensive. And that’s all the confirmation I need…you puke. Do I want to know the story of why you puked?

Probably not and I'm even less willing to share it. It was a long time ago.

We’re already into over sharing why stop now.

Is confessing my love for tequila considered oversharing? I apologize. I thought that was just public knowledge at this point.

Obviously I need to get out amongst the public more.

I thought you were ready to resign yourself to a life in Hermitville?

Can't I take a vacation from Hermitville?

I mean, I guess. I just think it'd make you realize how lame things are in Hermitville.

So I should just stay. Babysit brats and tip the hotel staff $100 to be the nannies because anything is better than lame?

You're welcome to do whatever you want, I just think you're going to get a little lonely if you close up shop and run off to Hermitville. You don't necessarily have to do any of that crap if you stay? You could just live your life for yourself and try to make the most of it.

Lonely was the whole point of Hermitville. But there’s this thing called loyalty where you have to stay and do mostly what’s right. There’s also the thing called a job that pays money to keep a roof and get food. On a bright side I’m living and making the most of it.

Oh, trust me. I know all about loyalty and having to do what's right. A little less familiar with the concept having to work in order to keep a roof over your head, but I'm very familiar with other bit. Kind of a pain in the ass, if you ask me.

Yup, pain in the ass just about sums it up. And seen as you don't have to work for a living, you can buy my drinks when I need to cry about the pain of it all.

Pfft. Maybe when I get back from Margaritaville.

You're all heart, darling. When you do get back from your swanky resort I'm hunting you down for drinks.