(no subject)

[getmytacklebox]

[Casually raiding your refrigerator. Just because.]

Comments

[colonelcannibal]

You might not want to eat that.

[deathretardantspecialist]

I have learned to stock up a bit more.

[getmytacklebox]

Wasn't planning on it, dude. [Pokes the thing.] Much as I enjoy a good, old-fashioned game of guess the mystery meat. What's in this, anyway? Veal?

i love that this is a thing that's happening right now. love it.

[getmytacklebox]

[Around a mouthful of reheated pasta~] Appreciate it, bro.

You know, seeing as how I'm your kitchen's most frequent occupant and all. [And because he doesn't have one of his own, apparently. Or so one would have to assume given how often Guerrero makes a habit of pilfering other people's lunch.]

[colonelcannibal]

Something a . . . tad closer to home.

I dragged him out of the dusty storage for this.

[deathretardantspecialist]

I figured you would.

[He even went as far as to pick up things he knew Guerrero would like.]

I do! *flailing*

[shelbycobra]

Okay this is not something I see every day.

[getmytacklebox]

You might wanna try stocking up on a few more fruit and vegetables. [Guerrero perches himself on the counter top, feet dangling, slurping enthusiastically at Chance's fettuccine.]

Man can't subsist on microwave dinners alone, dude. Just a suggestion.

yay! :D that's so awesome, i wish it could make a come back *grumble*stupidfox*grumble*

[getmytacklebox]

[He peeks over the lid of the pizza box he's, ahem, liberated, chewing thoughtfully on some pepperoni.] What, a guy eating a pizza? You need to get out more, dude. Seriously.

[With a disappointed sigh, he unceremoniously dumps the half-eaten slice back in the box and pushes it away.] I prefer Hawaiian anyway.

[deathretardantspecialist]

I'll try to remember that. [Smirks just a tad at the suggestion.] Those don't keep as well.

[getmytacklebox]

[...] Well, that sounds unnecessarily sinister and I really don't have the patience for riddles, so...

You got anything that actually resembles, y'know, food?

[colonelcannibal]

Only by my standards. Few people would want to eat with a wendigo, after all.

[getmytacklebox]

Great for preventing scurvy, though. You remember those people in Algeria, right? The guys with the spots? [He shrugs. ] Orange juice just seems like a small investment, dude, that's all I'm saying.

lol shelby is so ill-equipped for this

[shelbycobra]

Well I wasn't ordering for you.

[Shelby is fresh out of the gym, just standing in her kitchen not at all sure how to handle this. She is trained to defend herself but she also does not want another incident of self-defense on her record. So she settles for talking this out.]

Anyway. Mind telling me how you got in my kitchen? Or are you one of Shane's weird friends that I presume he has but never talks about?

[getmytacklebox]

[Blinks. Alrighty then. Guerrero's just going to play it cool here.] It's understandable, right? I know I'd be pretty upset if I came to dinner only end up being dessert.

[Guerrero steps a little closer, lowering his voice to an exaggerated whisper.] Gotta tell you, man, I don't usually have a problem with crazy. [Hell, most of the people's inside Guerrero's rather expansive sphere of influence think he's more than a little unhinged himself.] Frankly, I don't think it's possible to live in a fucked up society like ours and stay sane but, uh, you might wanna play down the wendigo bit. That's like next level stuff, y'know?

[colonelcannibal]

You look like you'd make a lovely one.

You're in my house, it's not like I'm telling random people on the street. *He raises an eyebrow.* What are you doing in here, in any case? I'm a bit off the beaten track, to say the least.

omg, i don't think i'd ever want to meet the person equipped to deal with guerrero! scary af :P

[getmytacklebox]

[Breezily~] Oh, your lock was busted. No big deal. [Before or after Guerrero jimmied it open? It's a little difficult to say. Except it totally isn't..] Thought I'd check things out. Guess you might call me a concerned citizen.

[He straightens from his easy slump against the counter and hooks a thumb over his shoulder, indicating the rest of her kitchen and the cupboards he has yet to rifle through.] But, if you don't mind, I haven't eaten in like three days, so...

[getmytacklebox]

[A beat. What, is he supposed to take that as a compliment?] Less lovely when I'm upset, believe me.

Exactly. Who else am I gonna steal from? It's slim pickings out there, dude.

[colonelcannibal]

*Compliment, warning, one of the two.* You wouldn't have time to get upset if I got hungry.

Unless you want wendigo sickness, I recommend avoiding anything with meat. My tastes are rather . . . specific on that point.

certainly not a race car driver

[shelbycobra]

I'm not your personal chef.

[But she's moving that way anyway because she's beat from a day of training and she needs a soda and a snack.]

I'm a racing driver who's just spent an hour getting punched by a guy twice my size so you can sit here while I make my sandwich but I'm not catering to you.

[getmytacklebox]

[Does she think he's such an asshole that he'd break into her house and expect her to cook for him? Come on, he's a criminal, sure, but he's got standards.] Or you could just let me make sandwiches for the both of us.

[Which is why he deliberately steps in her way to block her progress, shrugging.] Least I can do, right? Plus, wasn't kidding about the three days things.

[shelbycobra]

All right, fair enough.

[Shelby's fridge is pretty well stocked. She's an athlete and she has to keep herself fed, and fed properly. Well aside from the fudge and other dessert items she tends to cheat on her diet with.]

If you're going to be joining me for lunch, should we exchange names? Or did you see the living room and figure out who I am?

[There are four major trophies and quite a few smaller ones in the living room. They make her identity pretty clear: Shelby Manning, Team Penske. Verizon IndyCar Series champion. Currently not sure how to explain this to her boyfriend.]

[getmytacklebox]

Dude, I knew who you were, like, two weeks before I even got here. Occupational hazard. [Assuming she'll follow, he leads the way and promptly starts taking rooting through her things. Thrown casually over his shoulder~] Big fan, by the way.

[shelbycobra]

Thank you?

[She likes fans, as long as they are the normal kind of fans and not the pervy guys who want to sleep with her, which obviously he is not. But she is also not normally making sandwiches with said fans, except for that one charity event.

[She just shakes her head and starts getting the cold cuts out of the fridge.]

So how exactly did you get to Chicago? I mean let alone in my house.

[getmytacklebox]

You're welcome. [For real. Not many civilians ever make it onto Guerrero's radar.]

By boat, mostly. It's a hell of a trip from Trinidad, let me tell ya. [Guerrero makes himself useful, grabs a couple of plates out of the cupboard, cutlery from the drawer.] As for your house... You could really invest in tighter security. Go with something pricey, electronic. One look at something like that and your average burglar'll crap out on the spot. Most of them are amateurs.

The advice comes free, by the way. Exchange of goods and all. [Excuse him while he just casually butters some bread like this is the most natural situation in the world.]

[shelbycobra]

I'll keep that in mind.

[That will be an interesting conversation to have with her boyfriend when he comes home, she thinks as she's deciding what kind of cheese she wants on the sandwich. She settles on the turkey and the provolone and starts portioning things out trying not to focus on how weird this is, gesturing toward the arrangement as if to ask him what he wants.]

I'm not sure what the appropriate topic of conversation is here.

[getmytacklebox]

Wouldn't worry about it. I mean, it's kinda refreshing, right? [Glances sideways at her, waving a dismissive hand at what she's doing. Go for it, dude.] To be in a situation that society hasn't already scripted or contrived for us? That's what I call a little taste of freedom, dude. And you're welcome for that, too.

[Reaches around her for something on the counter.] You want some lettuce on yours?

[shelbycobra]

Please.

[And so she's just randomly arranging sandwich contents while trying not to think about how weird this is or the fact that she's already sore as hell from an hour and a half in the gym with a trainer who, to be fair, is supposed to push her that hard but that doesn't mean she doesn't hate him for it on occasion.]

What is it you do? Since you obviously know enough about me.

[getmytacklebox]

I freelance. [Slaps the final piece of bread onto both of their sandwiches and immediately snatches up his own. Three days, dude. Three days.] The finer details of which I'm more than happy to share, assuming you're willing to shell out some cash.

[He takes the opportunity to hop up onto the counter - even in her gym shoes, she's still marginally taller than him - to peer down at her over the tops of his glasses, half a sandwich dangling from his mouth. Around a mouthful~] As for how much I know about you, evidently not enough. Thought you'd be out of town, honestly. I was just gonna slip in, poke around and leave but, hey, guess this kinda worked itself out.

[shelbycobra]

[Now she's got this thought in her head of what he could have possibly stolen if she hadn't come home. Those trophies are one of a kind, not to mention the other memorabilia she's built up over her career, and she guards them like the kids she doesn't have. The mere idea of losing them makes her tense up slightly.]

You know I do more than enough public appearances if you were that interested.

[getmytacklebox]

Sure you do. But I don't. [Wide open spaces with security, press and camera phones? That's like Guerrero's idea of a personal hell, frankly.] Staying off the radar is kind of a big thing in my business.

And this is still fun, right? Talking from personal experience, you're handling it pretty well. I'm inclined to believe you've been broken into before. [But with those locks? Guerrero wouldn't exactly be surprised.]

[shelbycobra]

I can't afford to handle it badly. [She is, for lack of a better word, paranoid about anything that may affect her public image and become a problem for her team and sponsors. And since she's just about two months removed from the incident where a drunk guy tried to choke her at Madison Square Garden, she's not looking for anything else she has to explain.]

Also, you haven't tried to strangle me yet, so that's nice.

[getmytacklebox]

That's some nice optimism, dude. [Eh, strangling isn't his style anyway. Too personal.] All the more reason for you to be a little jumpy. Or are those self-defense classes finally paying off?

[shelbycobra]

You mean my five years of training as a mixed martial artist? Yeah. They paid off.

[getmytacklebox]

[Glibly~] Five, huh? Congrats on that, dude. Seriously. [Don't mind the condescension, Shelby, it's all part of Guerrero's natural charm or lack thereof.]

[shelbycobra]

[She's just going to give him a look. That, this is the middle finger I would be giving you if I weren't holding a sandwich, look.]