sixwordstories | (no subject)

~Uhm. Is this the good doctor's office, then?~

So...do I lay down or just sit?

[Well, that's an interesting voice! Zie nods and gestures inside. It's a warm, sunny office.]

It is indeed. Please, come in!

Zie gives a warm, professional smile and gestures to the battered old leather armchair at one end of the office. Please, sit however you feel comfortable. I'm afraid there's not much room, but we can make do if you like.

[He gives a small smile back, amused by her accent as he walked over to the chair. He sat down, trying a couple positions before settling in for leaning forward with his hands together.]

Thanks. Where do we start? I guess with my name. I'm Ian.

[Interesting is definitely the word. Although it answers the question of 'do people think in accents?' with a resounding yes.

He enters the room cautiously, like maybe the door is going to slam shut and toxic gas get pumped in, or zombies leap out of the closest.]

~Ah. Ullo. I was given one of yer business cards... Thought, you know, might... Check it out is all.~

Hello, Ian. [Zie has a calm, measured smile, and also takes a seat.] It's nice to meet you. I'm Margaret, or you can call me Dr. Woolson. Whichever makes you feel more comfortable. Would you like to tell me a little bit about yourself and what brought you here?

Well, you're absolutely welcome here. Would you care to sit down? [Zie has a warm, professional smile, and gestures to an old armchair in the corner of the small office. There's a window with a spider plant above it. Zie sits in the other chair across--but gingerly, as if zie's trying not to spook him back out.]

My name is Margaret, or Dr. Woolson if you prefer. [And if he's referring to a possible accent in hir thoughts, it's more a matter of...] just so you're aware, I prefer to use the pronouns zie and hir when referring to myself. And your name is...? [Still as gentle as anything, trying not to startle him.]

[He has a seat. The plant is a nice touch, he thinks.]

~Jonothon Starsmore. Jono is fine. That's uh, non-binary pronouns, yeah? That's fine. I'm not bothered by that sort of thing.~

[He still seems a little nervous, but at least he doesn't look like he's going to run.]

[Zie smiles--that's always a relief.] That's wonderful to hear. Thank you.

[Not running is a very good thing. And it's a good plant, zie's had it for years now.]

Would you care to tell me a little bit about yourself, Jono?

~Well. I'm British, so, feelings aren't really something I'm good at... I'm not great at talking, either.

See, the thing is... I teach kids, about how to sort of... deal with being physically different. And lately I'm feeling a bit of a fraud.~

Take your time. There's no hurry here. [Zie might not be British...but actually, zie always keeps tea in hir office. Would you like a cup? Zie offers.

Zie takes a moment to process that and write a little note on hir notepad. Looking back at Jono.] And why would that be?

[He declined the tea with real regret.] ~Can't, sorry.

Well. I guess it's just that lately I'm trying to really accept that I am the way I am, and the past month or so it just seems very difficult. I mean... I hate meself, really. But I don't want these kids to feel how I do.~

[Zie nods and puts the teapot off to one side, no worries at all. Comes back to center and listens, making another little note.]

You hate yourself? [It's definitely a question, or at least an opening. A gentle, non-judgmental one.]

~Well, not all of me. Just... The physical part.~

[Zie nods slowly and listens.]

~And I know people get tired of hearing it. I know. But it's ready for them, innit? They're not disfigured.

Anyway. I feel like a right hypocrite telling me students it will get better.~

...Er. [Blinking. Give hir a minute to catch up. Zie gets there eventually.] All right. [Slowly.] Correct me if I'm wrong, but these are the conclusions I've jumped to: you are facially disfigured, and that's why you wear a mask, and you use your experiences in recovering to help children who are also physically disabled? Would that be a good summation?

Okay, so...well, what does the word 'better' mean to you in this context? And why do you feel like a hypocrite in relation to that?

[He studies his hands, nodding.]

~Basically. Yeah.

And by better I don't mean good. I mean... I want them to know they'll adapt over time. Which I tell them, but sometimes I don't feel like I follow me own advice.~

[Zie nods again.] That seems like reasonable, helpful advice.

[A pause for thought.] You don't feel like you've adapted? Or are adapting?

~No. I don't. I feel like I still miss me old body.~

[There's another small pause to allow that to sink into the room before zie says gently,] You're allowed to miss what you no longer have and still be okay with what you have now, you know.

~Am I?~

Of course. I mean--first of all, 'allowing' was probably the wrong word. You feel however you feel, and that is completely valid and deserves acknowledgement. Second--being okay with who you are now and with the body you have now doesn't mean that the person you used to be or the body you used to have needs to disappear completely from your memory. There's no switch to flip from 'recovering from a seriously traumatic injury' to 'I'm okay now.' Sometimes being okay or getting better is not a static thing, and missing your body the way it was is...well...not something you have to beat yourself up over.

~Most people just get tired of me whinging about it.~

[Soft grin] Well, you won't have to worry about that here.

~Huh.

You're good, Dr. Woolson.~

[Zie inclines hir head with a little bit of a smile.] I try.

That's an important part of trauma recovery, you know. Talking about your experiences as much as you need to talk about them.

~It just sucks. One day yer relatively normal and the next yer creeping out circus freaks.~

I can imagine it would be a terribly difficult transition, yes.

~Yeah.

So.~

Hi. Am I in the right place? I'm looking for a Dr. Woolson.

My Mom made this appointment. Something about anger management. So, fix me.