(no subject)

[elijah_m]

I apologize, profusely, for my brother.

Comments

[intrntl_superassassin]

Wow you really are painfully straight.

[elijah_m]

I never found it painful, exactly...limiting, perhaps.

[intrntl_superassassin]

Only cause you don’t know what you’re missing. If you did you’d know it was painful.

[balanceact]

Don't we all? Brothers are annoying. Always embarrassing you.

[elijah_m]

Mine is usually more than annoying. He has little control over his...impulses.

[elijah_m]

*chuckle* How is it they say it, in these times? Oh, yes...I never felt the impulse to play for the home team. Women are so soft, and sweet...except when they are not...and that is a pleasure, as well.

[balanceact]

I got three of them and two struggles with not giving in to every whim. Had to get my baby bro out of a prison sentence not too long ago even.

[elijah_m]

I had six siblings. Two are dead. My brother, Niklaus, is the one that is the most troublesome.

[balanceact]

You have my condolences, my youngest brother also died young. Like you, I used to have six siblings.

[intrntl_superassassin]

No. In these times we call that repression.

[Vincent thinks back to the two most prominent women in his life] Have you ever actually met a woman? They’re terrifying.

[werevamp]

And what exactly have I been accused of doing this time?

[elijah_m]

I have known quite a few...*thinks about Haley, Celeste, Rebecca, his mother*....you're correct.

[elijah_m]

My youngest brother died. We were all young. My eldest died recently...we don't miss him a great deal.

[elijah_m]

Well, unless Rebecca is running around the city impersonating you...

It seems you have managed to irritate a Devereaux witch, give very bad advice to a young man going to Italy...other than gelato...and you annoyed a beautiful blonde.

[intrntl_superassassin]

I always am. The only time I’m ever wrong is when I don’t have all the details.

[werevamp]

In other words... a typical Thursday?

I don't understand your incessant need to apologize, brother. Whatever trouble that boy gets into in Italy will be of his own doing. And believe me... I did much more than annoy that delectable blonde.

[elijah_m]

I can relate to that.

[elijah_m]

Indeed.

Niklaus, if I did not spend an excessive amount of time, energy and money cleaning up the various messes you create, we would never be able to live anywhere. That boy does not need your advice for travel in a foreign country. Try to remember that this country is currently in a spiral of disapproval around the world. As to the blonde? It would seem that she has a bodyguard of sorts who is not only Immortal, but a gladiator from Rome. As entertaining as it might be for both Rebecca and myself, watching you get your arse handed to you by this man, it would be a tragedy...there would be no time to sell tickets.

Imagine the fortune I could obtain. *smirk*

[balanceact]

You don't? That's an odd way of looking at it.

[werevamp]

*Klaus is not amused, though his tone still carries a hint of playfulness.*

What little faith you have in me, Elijah. It saddens me that you believe I would lose in a fight with a gladiator. Perhaps you should keep this man's existence in your back pocket, in the unlikely event we're ever desperate for money. I agree, the line of people waiting to see me be potentially mauled would have no end.

Now what would you do with your time, if I did not keep you occupied?

[elijah_m]

Finn was always a bit of a prig...and he did try to kill us...so it tends to make one distant.

[intrntl_superassassin]

Wait. You're saying we have something in common?

[elijah_m]

*which amuses Elijah, to no end*

Niklaus, you are quite deadly. However, a Roman gladiator of his caliber would do considerable amounts of damage, even though you could not kill one another. Yes, those males of the home team persuasion would enjoy his rippling muscles as he threw you across the arena, and ladies would be positively breathless, for you both. Perhaps we could have Kol run the concessions, then we would all profit from the bloodletting. Rebecca could sell T shirts.

I have a few thoughts...write a cookbook, master the violin, write the great romantic novel, learn to figure skate, take up basket weaving, become an action movie star, study astronomy, learn the 'hokey pokey'...*voice trails off*

[elijah_m]

Shocking, isn't it?

[werevamp]

*What an understatement. For centuries Klaus was the deadliest creature to walk the earth.*

You've been alone for too long. I was simply referring to the number of enemies who would like to see me dead. As for a spectacle of the male figure, well, that would simply be a bonus.

*Now he knows Elijah is teasing, and he can't help but laugh at the mental image of his brother doing the 'hokey pokey'. He mentally makes a note to suggest to Hope that she ask Uncle Elijah to play the game with her.*

Basket weaving? Have you completely lost your mind?

[elijah_m]

Alone too long? Perhaps it is the years of solitude spent with your dagger in my chest, locked in a coffin...or your frequent inclinations to cause the deaths of women I get involved with, brother. The 'bonus' of the flesh spectacle would no doubt add to the legend of your persona.

*Now Elijah is being an asshole, but in the most Elijah manner...in short, with a stick up his arse.*

Funny, Rebecca frequently asks me that question every time I come to your defense, Niklaus. I considered learning basket weaving while doing the hokey pokey...but I turned myself around...

[intrntl_superassassin]

Little bit weird, I'm not going to lie.

[balanceact]

Ah. Well that makes sense.

now that I've stopped lol'ing 12 hours later...

[werevamp]

*Elijah often amused Klaus with a clever turn of phrase, but this was downright silliness. Klaus coughed to cover up the laughter he couldn't suppress.*

My, you are exceptionally chipper today. Is there something, or someone, to thank for this?

Re: now that I've stopped lol'ing 12 hours later...

[elijah_m]

*lifts his brow slightly at Klaus' coughing*

The aforementioned blonde accepted my invitation to dine with me at Restaurant R'evolution. She is a very powerful witch, with no ties to the harpies that wished us harm, here. She is also a former wife to different sorts of Immortals, and that includes the legendary Methos. It seems to me that an alliance with a powerful witch, one without any history of animosity towards us, might become helpful, should we need assistance protecting your daughter.

Couldn't hurt, at the very least, and she is rather lovely...as you noticed.

[werevamp]

*Well well well, look at Elijah, turning an annoyed witch into his dinner date. Suave as ever. Given his mixed history with witches, Klaus is unsure that having the witch as an ally is a good idea. Still, he had to think of more than himself now.*

I suppose having more witches on our side would benefit Hope as she grows older, and it could take a portion of the burden of her magical education off of Freya.

*As if Elijah needs his permission to take a pretty woman out to dinner - even if she is a witch.*

[elijah_m]

*deadpan*

You cannot begin to imagine my relief that you approve.

[werevamp]

*He replies with a congenial clap on the back.*

Happy to oblige. Now off with you, best not keep her waiting.

[counteracting]

...You really think that's enough to make up for everything he's done?

[elijah_m]

Elena...

While I do attempt, from time to time, various attempts to smooth over the ruffled, bloody feathers of assorted birds injured by my brother's misdeeds, I have no illusions as to the comparisons it might invoke. I believe draining the Pacific with a shot glass might have a greater potential for success. Therefore, no...I do not believe that anything I might say, at any time, might 'make up' for the long history of dodgy behavior that my brother is so exceedingly good at...

*lifts brow* However, to be quite fair, you are not without a fairly interesting list of misconduct, yourself. Have you hired someone to 'make up' for those? Or does Damien do it in exchange for random sexual tension moments?