sixwordstories | (no subject)

I saaaaaaiiiidddd....you're pinging my AU Sense something fierce. It's like a Spidey Sense, only for people who have actually encountered AU versions of themselves and made a family out of them. I had a Lady Deadpool, a Kid Deadpool, a Dogpool, a Zombiepool....and whether or not I had sex with Lady Deadpool since we were the mom and dad figures was left ambiguous.

Doesn't that kind of imply that everyone is an AU of the version of themselves from those other universes?

Not that I'm looking for implied selfcest of my own.

Oh yeah it totally does. I am both the U and the AU version of me.

Selfcest!!! I was going to ask if you had a word for it. Also if it is taboo. Where does it fit on the range of Incest to...uh...NOT-incest?

So, shouldn't your AU sense always be going off?

If twins hooking up is incest, then yeah, I'm going to say it is. Unless you assume it's more like masturbation.

I think it is and I think that's why I'm crazy.

See, THAT'S THE QUESTION. Twincest or Masturbation? And what would any bebes look like? I mean, the DNA still mixes up in different ways, but you're working with exact same DNA from both to start with...

You're pretty casual about that fact.

Oh, genetically it's incest. Or possibly the most sexual version of mammalian asexual reproduction. But that's only if actual reproduction occurs. Socially? I've got no idea.

Yes, the coffee you've dumped all over this perfectly nice sweater would indicate that.

Historically, I have done that on purpose at least twice.

But not to you, and not today. [She holds out a small wad of white paper.] Napkin?

Thanks. [He takes it and mops at the stain, frowning. He looks downright fussy, which is at odds with literally everything else about his appearance.]

So why'd you throw coffee on two other people?

[The absurdity of the scene does not go over her head. At least he's not yelling? She hates that.]

One was self defense and the other was the kind of guy who needs to have had a drink thrown at him at least once in his life.

Self defense. You don't have mace?

Oh yeah, it's pretty commonly known as my schtick. No need to cry about it. Without it, I'd just be another Slade and struggle to sell any books or get Ryan Reynolds to play me.

If I'm the first and only person to do it, does that mean I get to define the social code?

Mace isn't legal in all places. Coffee mostly is.

As long as you're comfortable with it, I guess? [She's not sure if he means the books he writes and is cosplaying as or if he's literally costumed vigilante type, but humoring him seems the smarter part of valor.]

I think you get a major role? But we always have to deal with how others respond to us.

[A casual shrug] I do me. [pause] Maybe unconfirmed literally.

Ain't that the truth. What's your name, Blondie? I'm Deadpool.

Do you want to have done you? [And why does she care? Maybe just enjoying the weird.]

Deadpool who wants to have invented a new way to fool with himself, I'm Elenore.

Alright, I actually can't argue with that.

What'd he do?

Glad to hear it.

Massive, destructive jerk. I mean, there's a story, but do you actually want to hear it?

[His head tilts ever so slightly to the right as he visibly considers it.] Yes. Yes, I do.

[She looks at this random guy who is more than a little menacing who actually wants to hear the story. It's weird, and she's not judging his choice in prosthesis, but it does feel a little mask and cape-y. Eh, but it's just a story, right?]

In post grad, I worked in a lab where, well, not exactly the world's brightest minds, but we had a little bit of prestige going on and everyone there deserved to be there. Minus, let's call him Keith. Keith wasn't dumb so much as entitled and lazy as hell while assuming he was a lot brighter than he really was. Which made sense because his parents were major donors. And shit seemed to always happen while he was in the lab. Nothing that could be tied to him, but the odds of it all just being actual accidents would be astronomical. We worked on different projects, so for the most part, he'd left my shit alone.

[After she had scared the shit out of him, but that was a different story.]

But then I found one of our lab mates sitting on the floor opening weeping because four years of work had been destroyed in one of the 'accidents'. And that is the day the coffee hit the man.

[He listens, and there must be something funny about it to him, because his good eye does seem to shine with good humour.]

I can understand that. There is nothing more frustrating than someone who doesn't pull their weight on a team perpetually getting away with it.

[He ponders it for a few moments] I really don't know. Honestly, I'd be the least interesting, least hot person I've ever done. And I once slept with a space hippo.

ELENORE!!! Some of the coolest people I've ever met have been named Elenore. There was Elenore Evans, who hooked up with Thor and was a nice Mean Girl. And there was Nore Evans, who had the coolest mad science lab. She was one of the more interesting and hot people I've slept with than me, by the way.

[She'll take amusement. It doesn't seem immediately harmful.] At the very least, a person who fucks around shouldn't screw up years of good science.

And he really shouldn't have asked me to pour him some coffee. [Yes, that's a hint more malicious intent than her family would be comfortable with.]

[She would have reacted to the space hippo bit, but um, that's her full name? And he's talking about at least one with a lab? THAT's a whole lot.]

...Do you look up people with that name in the phone book or facebook or something? ...Who have labs?

Hey, you did what he asked...

[He considers her again.] What kind of scientist are you?