sixwordstories | (no subject)

Very mature.

I never said I had to be...and just how old are you?

You're an adult. Act like it. And I'm fifty-eight since you're asking.

I don't wanna...and besides, you are older than me, so there. [resists urge to stick out her tongue]

Oh. You're one of those.

Those what?

People holding onto the past. No one sees you as a bubbly, beach party girl anymore. You grew up. Accept it.

I say that same thing a lot.

Then end it.

I haven't been a bubbly...anything...for a long time. I'm just sick of people coming after me for the crap my ex did.

I find that most women have. [laughing]

Hey, Homelander.

Yeah, I know I have to do it.

[softly] Do you ever find yourself torn, like you want to do good, you know you want to, but people keep forcing you to do things that you never thought you would have to do? It's...exhausting.

If men would stop being such a pain in the ass.

[Laughs.]

What happened?

Then tell them that.

I think it is hardwired into their DNA, along with an absolute inability to put their dirty clothes IN the hamper.

Well, my ex is a douche, but my immediate issue is a nasty terrorist type who wants to get to my ex through me. I mean, what part of ex-husband are men too thick to understand?

I did.

But this guy is not the most sane person and he's kind of pissed that my ex blew part of his skull off and dropped him in the ocean. I mean, sheesh...it was five years ago...you'd think he'd get over it, but nooooo...

My ex is also a douche, so I can relate.

[Ex might be stretching it since she thought being broken up required being officially together first.]

There are a lot of things men don't understand. I only know one of them that listens to most of what I say.

Call the police if he bothers you. Otherwise, call the police on your ex.

Alexa.

You do. There doesn't seem to be any other choice at this point.

[ he tilts his head. ] Yes, more often than you think. To do good — you do what's necessary.

Believe me, the feds would love to get their hands on my ex.

Not sure cops would be good for my business, though.

The only ones who actually listen to me are the ones on my payroll.

If it isn't about food, sex or sports, most men have very selective hearing.

Apparently, my daughter has a poster of you on her wall. She's a big fan.

I just hate to go all full blown psycho without some purpose...more than protecting myself and my child. I gave him the chance to just go to jail, but then he broke out. Now he is on the Most Wanted Interpol list.

This will be messy.

It's always nice to meet fans — I'll sign something for her.

Protecting yourself and your child? That's more than enough reason. It seems as if you're being pushed beyond what you can handle.

If it is, you're more than capable of cleaning it up.

Or in my ex's case, any of the cases he's prosecuting.

[Chuckles.]

Can't live with them. Can't live without them.

I'm sure Gracie would appreciate that. She says you are the greatest superhero of all time. You must be very good, my kid isn't impressed easily.

I have business partners who have special...gifts. They can more than handle Padriac and his crew. But the mess and all will be fine to clean, I just hate to waste...[slow smile]

One of the most dangerous international terrorists who has killed hundreds of people...he escaped LA Sheriffs by killing two cops...all over the news. Suppose I were to call you after the 'party' with my partners, and Homelander single-handedly brought in the most wanted terrorist on the news? YOU have great press, take a very hefty reward, and I can feel like I served a higher need than my own? Kind of a win-win? [nods and grins]

[winces] That must be awkward...ouch.
I say "Can't live with them, can't fit them in a woodchipper without a hacksaw..." but it's the same theory.

I'm Alexa, by the way. I have a nightclub south of Laguna by the same name. [hands her a card]

Janet. I work for the FBI.

[She takes her card with a smile and hands her one of her own.]

I can't think of the last time I've been clubbing unless it was to arrest somebody. But maybe I'll drag my partner out.

[It'd be different from their usual hanging out in a bar.]

The FBI? Wow, that must be exciting.

[oh, yeah, this isn't at all awkward, given that she is a fence, a thief and her ex is wanted by the Feds]

Ever been to Lux, in LA? It's a bit like that. We have bands, DJ, dancers and a restaurant. [dancers was a separate wing of the club, at least] We are closed tomorrow night for a private party.

It is.

[A lot of people say that to her. She does find her job interesting, but not for the reasons they usually think.]

I'll keep that in mind, thanks. Usually I go out to dinner or a bar after work. Or home into the bathtub with a glass of wine.

Well if harassment and possible death are what you're into, I'd say you're of to a great start.

Sounds like my marriage history, at least...

I would do the bathtub thing, but my four year old takes that as an invitation to join me.

I am — what would you like me to sign? Poster, action figure?

Gifts? Are they superheroes or are they powerful and hiding it?

[ he nods, understanding what she means. he then crosses his arms over his chest, contemplative. he doesn't really like the idea of people hiding their abilities, but he has no actual say. ]

I can do that — I'll find him, and I'll deliver justice. All you need do is say the word, Alexa, and I'll make sure he never hurts anyone ever again.

[ the press would be good for him — points through the roof. nabbing terrorists ( and also killing them ) has given him a reputation for doing good. he smiles at her, bright and winning, before he extends his hand. ]

Deal?

The only child I know is my colleague Adam and he's not getting anywhere near me.

[Janet giggles at the thought. She and Adam aren't that close but that's exactly the joke he'd make if he knew how she spent her evenings.]

She loves action figures. Thank you.

[contemplates trust, decides he is worth the risk, as a friend]

They are vampires...the Original Vampires...except for Nik, who is a hybrid werewolf and vampire. They are looking forward to teaching terrorists the meaning of terror.

You don't need to find him, I will have him for you at my club. All you have to do is arrange the right press for when you deliver his body to the authorities. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy, as my daughter would say.

[takes his hand, smiling] I do love when the good guys can all win.

Gracie, right? I'll make a note of it.

[ he knows that trust is indicative of what they're doing here. if he has it, then he knows that breaking it would make this meaningless. he decides that it's worth it, even if both of them aren't exactly perfect people. ]

I can do that. Dead or alive?

[ as if that actually matters. he knows that he might be dead already, or he'll have to neutralize the danger. either way, he wins. he shakes her hand, his grip soft as to not break her bones. ]

Me too. We can do this together — and remember: you've been the real hero here.

Very, very dead...decapitated, to be precise. It's the only way to kill his kind.

[smiles, softly, and shakes her head]

I am many things, Homelander. I am not a hero. I am just a mom trying to protect my kid.

Dead, fine. Decapitation is nothing when you have heat vision. I can guarantee you that he'll die.

[ his eyes light up like embers and he smiles. demonstrations are always welcome, though he's not sure she wants one. he shrugs one shoulder, then blinks it away. ]

That's heroic. Protecting your child? It's what I would do.

[ not that his son wants anything to do with him, but that's neither here nor there. he smiles again, bright and all-american, hands clasped behind his back. ]

Don't worry. I'll make sure you're both safe.

That is impressive. I bet camping with you would be fun.

[smiles, tilting her head] You know, you can always come to me, if you ever need anything. Even if it is just someone who will listen and not judge. You don't always have to be 'on', sometimes you need people you can just be yourself with.

I've never been camping. Fun or a complete waste of time?

[ he nods — a quick jerk of his head. he knows that he doesn't always have to be heroic, doesn't always have to be the perfect picture of vought — but sometimes it's easier said than done. ]

I appreciate that. Maybe I'll take you up on that sometime.

Well, whoever he is may have started it...but can you end it, Lovely?

It can be both. I try to keep it both nature and some fun.

[Runs her hand on his arm, then stills, remembering her ex and his snake.]

You should. [smiles] I am not making the offer for very many people, these days. I used to be...nicer.

If I don't, nobody else will.

I've never had a reason to — doubt I could now, unfortunately.

[ his eyes glance down at alexa's touch, and he doesn't mind it. homelander's gaze then settles back to hers. ]

Oh? What happened?

You totally could. What else could you do that no one would bother you? I'll take you to the Shady Dell. No one would even notice.

[softly]

I gave my heart away to someone who...didn't need it.