Onida "Oni" Girard (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
naturaldisasster) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sixwordstories2022-08-09 09:45 pm
naturaldisasster) wrote in sixwordstories2022-08-09 09:45 pm
(no subject)
Why is it so fucking hot?
ALWAYS fucking climate change! [ If she could give the finger to emissions, you’d better believe she would. ]
I’m overdressed? Darlin’, if I take anything else off I’m liable t’get arrested!
And I know it’s August, but if it gets any hotter, I may seriously have t’consider rippin’ my own skin off…
And I know it’s August, but if it gets any hotter, I may seriously have t’consider rippin’ my own skin off…
They got air-conditionin' inside the big house.
Could always find a swimmin' pool. Nice cold stream in the mountains.
Could always find a swimmin' pool. Nice cold stream in the mountains.
It's a massive pain in the ass. And worse.
Oh, you've got jokes now? Hilarious.
I could throw myself in th'ocean too, but it'd still be hotter than the Devil's sphincter when I got out again.
For th'record, I'm not sayin' no to th'pool, I just... It's so hot, Logan, and I'm not like you. I didn't spend sixty thousand years in th'jungle.
I could throw myself in th'ocean too, but it'd still be hotter than the Devil's sphincter when I got out again.
For th'record, I'm not sayin' no to th'pool, I just... It's so hot, Logan, and I'm not like you. I didn't spend sixty thousand years in th'jungle.
Edited 2022-08-10 12:21 (UTC)
Worse? Than a pain in the ass, or...?
I'm not kidding, I would blow th'Frost Giant’s icy prick if I thought it would make things colder.
I'm not kidding, I would blow th'Frost Giant’s icy prick if I thought it would make things colder.
Edited 2022-08-10 20:52 (UTC)
[Peering at her ass] I've been wondering that for over a decade. It defies aesthetic biological science. Do you remember when I bounced a quarter off it and it killed a man?
Now who's got jokes. You musta hit yer head, darlin'. Pretty sure yer older then me.
We gonna trade war stories or find a pool? [Says the least bouyant man alive.]
We gonna trade war stories or find a pool? [Says the least bouyant man alive.]
Just gonna casually throw age in there, huh? Did I say you were older than me? Non! I said you spent twenty-one hundred thousand years in Gaia’s sweaty armpit.
[ Her mouth falls open. ] Y— You wanna find a pool? … Alright. We’ll keep to th’shallow end. I’ll buy you some water wings. It’ll be fun.
[ Her mouth falls open. ] Y— You wanna find a pool? … Alright. We’ll keep to th’shallow end. I’ll buy you some water wings. It’ll be fun.
[ It’s so hot that she’s tempted to choke him, just for that. ] NO, I don’t remember you killin’ a man with a quarter! And you know damn well that’s not what I’m talkin’ about…
I’m talking about th’WEATHER, Wilson! For chrissakes, how are you not dyin’ in those pajamas?!
I’m talking about th’WEATHER, Wilson! For chrissakes, how are you not dyin’ in those pajamas?!
Y’mean like one at a time?
Sounds terribly inefficient t’me, cher. But a tub of ice? Now we’re talkin’. Fuck it— Let’s just find a freezer, and I’ll climb on in…
Sounds terribly inefficient t’me, cher. But a tub of ice? Now we’re talkin’. Fuck it— Let’s just find a freezer, and I’ll climb on in…
For the record my time spent in the sweaty jungle armpit is classified. [Because he wasn't suppose to be there.] N' it was the rainy season, not summer.
You put water wings on me, darlin' and it's gonna get physical. [Said with a wink.] I kin sit in the shallow end n' not drown.
You put water wings on me, darlin' and it's gonna get physical. [Said with a wink.] I kin sit in the shallow end n' not drown.
Redacted, huh? Do I need a government clearance t’talk about th’worst case of swamp-ass anyone’s ever had?
[ Look at her face. Onida Let’s Get Physical Girard is the WRONG person to say that to. ] Don’t threaten me with a good time, cher.
I’m thinkin’ pink ones. Th’kind that attach to a little life vest…
[ Look at her face. Onida Let’s Get Physical Girard is the WRONG person to say that to. ] Don’t threaten me with a good time, cher.
I’m thinkin’ pink ones. Th’kind that attach to a little life vest…
Brows raised as Blaine couldn't help giving an amused grin. ❝ I usually only put my enemies in the freezer, but for you, I'll make an exception... Seriously though, want to go to Lowes, scare the hell out of people when they open the freezers and find us in them? ❞ Because, why not?
Oh, well, it deserves a reminder then! [flicks a quarter off her ass, and somewhere somebody yelps and keels over, yelling "I JUST CAME OUT OF MY COMA FROM THE LAST TIME WHHYYY--[thump]"]
Oh, I guess he didn't die, just went into a coma. I wonder if he's dead this time...
You know, they whick sweat away surprisingly well...it's like wearing the best hiking gear, but as super hero spandex.
Oh, I guess he didn't die, just went into a coma. I wonder if he's dead this time...
You know, they whick sweat away surprisingly well...it's like wearing the best hiking gear, but as super hero spandex.
Pain is small and personal. This is huge and universal.
It might. Magic is definitely not my specialty.
It might. Magic is definitely not my specialty.
If swamp ass gets you goin' I'll take the risk and give you all the details.
Yer gettin' your self in a load o' trouble, girl. C'mon, lets get outta this shit.
Yer gettin' your self in a load o' trouble, girl. C'mon, lets get outta this shit.
It does seem rather more irritatingly hot than it usually is this time of year.
“I feel like that might be sarcasm, but, actually, that don’t sound half-bad.” Put the fear of god in people, and not for the usual reasons? With the added bonus of feeling like her clothes aren’t pasted to her skin? Sign her up.
Hey—!! [ She jumps as the quarter bounces off of her (always a near-threat, when someone had that many pockets) and again when someone falls over, potentially dead. ] WILSON!
Either way, we got t’get the fuck out of here!
Yes, yes, it’s a miracle of modern sewing— C’MON, let’s goooo. [ She’s half-pulling, half-shoving at this point. ]
Either way, we got t’get the fuck out of here!
Yes, yes, it’s a miracle of modern sewing— C’MON, let’s goooo. [ She’s half-pulling, half-shoving at this point. ]
[ Now that gets a genuine laugh out of her. ] Tempting as that is, wouldn’t wanna get you busted by th’Mounties.
C’est bon, I like trouble… [ She grinned, tossing him her keys. ] You drive.
C’est bon, I like trouble… [ She grinned, tossing him her keys. ] You drive.
When y’put it that way, it makes a lot of sense…
… Shit, it might. [ She just had to open her big mouth, didn’t she? Commence the back-pedaling! ] Or, it might not! What’re his powers, exactly? I’d better consult with somethin’ before I… Y’know… Gag on an icicle just for it t’get two degrees colder in fuckin’ Wisconsin.
… Shit, it might. [ She just had to open her big mouth, didn’t she? Commence the back-pedaling! ] Or, it might not! What’re his powers, exactly? I’d better consult with somethin’ before I… Y’know… Gag on an icicle just for it t’get two degrees colder in fuckin’ Wisconsin.
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