I've been in love half my life. Since I was nine years old. I think I know my ex-boyfriend better than I know myself. I think I need to not be in love.
Can you love someone else completely if you don't know or understand yourself? How do you give yourself wholeheartedly to someone if you aren't complete?
I think that's where I failed. I am not a 'feel' first 'think' later person. I'm more of a think first, think second and last person. I suppose that when it came time for that metaphorical leap of faith I didn't make it.
We have been as much a part of each other as ourselves since we were 14 and 13 respectively. She is everything to me just as I am to her, even now, even though she cannot remember that I am anything more than her cousin.
*small, almost bitter smile* She marries him, next month.
I am meant to walk her down the aisle. I do believe it'll kill me.
She is pregnant with his child. But the way she looks at me...like somethings missing and she finds it in me. Things she says that she did before, when she knew.
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Things change though, even if neither are the cause.
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I died... I was dead for a long, long time.
She's done something, made herself forget everything that I was to her to help her cope. It's complicated.
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If I was in the same situation I fear I would have done the same.
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She was my wife, Sir.
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One can erase the memories but can we truly numb our hearts?
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I am meant to walk her down the aisle. I do believe it'll kill me.
She is pregnant with his child. But the way she looks at me...like somethings missing and she finds it in me. Things she says that she did before, when she knew.
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But how can I ruin the life she has now? What gives me that right?
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*headshake* I am perhaps not the most ideal person to be asking.
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Evan Rosier. *holds out his hand*
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