sixwordstories | (no subject)

*jolts to almost immediately and although he's used to them it still makes him jump, strong arms wrapping around her and keeping her tightly against his body* It's okay Amanda, it was just a nightmare. You're safe.

*immediately goes into flight-or-fight mode, pushing at him hard, trying to get away. It takes nearly a minute for her eyes to really focus and she collapses into his arms, crying softly*

*holds her as tightly as he can, still trying to calm her, used to this too* Shhhh, Amanda. I've got you, you're safe. It's John, Amanda. *repeats in a firm but soft voice until she stops, and then he begins to rock her slowly, still murmuring words, though his voice has lost that firm edge now*

*fists her hands into his clothes, shaking* I hate this... Why won't it stop? *closes her eyes tight*

Because one cannot make the past any less painful, even if we make a conscious effort to forget it...sometimes our subconscious has other ideas. *sighs, and how he wishes he could help her, he hates it just as much but for different reasons*

*makes a small noise, burying her face in his chest* This time when he turned off the lights, I felt the bugs and once my eyes adjusted there were... *doesn't want to say it, because she knows he worries about her former addictions, so she mumbles the word* needles.

*continues to rock her gently, careful, methodically, listening to her whilst she spoke and trying to offers words of comfort* It's over now, I promise you it's over now. *but he knows the cravings will never go away, so the nightmares will persist another night as they always did*

*softly* Thank you... I know, I'm a mess...

You're welcome, Amanda. *presses a kiss to her forehead* And no, not a mess, hurting. There's a difference.

*looks at her curiously* You ok?

*forces herself to sound "normal"* Yes, I'm okay. Bad dreams. Really bad dreams.

I have those too it's ok though.

Are yours memories or just imagination? I hate nightmares.

Both. The memories are of the night my aunt died then the night I had to kill the bad men.

My memories are of when my step-dad used to lock me in the closet when I was a little girl... and lots of needles. Always needles. *frowns* I'm sorry your aunt died. It's hard to lose people you love.

*nods* I saw her that's why I had to go to the hospital then Mommy 'dopted me.

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. But it's good you got adopted. Is your Mommy a good one? She'd have to be, huh? *she HOPES so, at the very least*

She's a great Mommy and now I got a new Daddy and three sisters plus him and Mommy are having three babies at one time.

Oh wow. Three sisters and three more siblings on the way? That's a LOT of family! Are you the oldest? Or are some of your new siblings older?

Yeah there's lots of us. Annika is the biggest she's Daddy's first daughter, then me then Grace.

*grins* Wow, that has to be a real change... To go from just you to being the second oldest... You're a tough little thing, aren't you?

Yeah but they're ok. *smiles and puffs up* Yeah I'm tough.

*grins* Does it make you LESS tough to have people thinking you're adorable? Because I totally do.

No that's ok growed ups think I'm cute 'specially girls.

Okay. Well, let me reiterate that. You are spectacularly adorable.

You're real pretty.

*grins* Why thank you, sweetheart. That's real nice of you.

No problem. My names Brennan.

It's nice to meet you Brennan. I'm Amanda.

Nice to meet you Amanda.