sixwordstories | (no subject)

~~*rides down the middle of mainstreet on lawn mower tractor*~~

Shit..pothole. Outta my way bitches!

*comes racing up behind her trying to overtake*

PREPARE TO LOSE!

*honks her horn*

Meeeeeeep

Whatever! *steps on it*

EAT THIS!

*rams into the side of her*

*starts veering the other way*

HEY! *points* What's that? *rams his tractor*

*takes bets on the tractor riding crazy lady*

You go, Zee!

*slowly zooms by with a Queen wave and a beer in the other hand*

TEA!!

You'll make the monster truck rally yet, city slicker! *laughs*

*blows a kiss*

Damn straights! *almost rear ends a cop car*

Hank laughs diabolically, floating up behind her...

*flips up her sunglasses, looks behind her*

OH! You wouldn't!

He supercharges the engine, and mashes the gas!

With only his mind.

*beer flies out of her hand as her sunglasses fall back over her eyes*

HANKKKKKKKKKK!

He creates an elaborate obstacle course out of golden light!

...and ramps, too.

*holds onto the steering wheel for dear life, laughing. her. ass. off*

And now, a hot wheels-style loop!

*eyes widen* Oh fuck...

AHHHHHHHHHH

*can't hold on anymore and falls off the tractor*

He swoops in and catches her.

You have to hit it harder.

*falls into his arms. laughing*

AGAIN. AGAIN!

Again, hmm...? He brings the tractor up and sets her on it.

*nods. gets back on and holds on for dear life*

GO!

He creates the loop again and mashes the gas!

*goes at it highspeed and FINALLY makes the loop. raises hands in victory, almost falling off the tractor again*

I FUCKING ROCK!

You always did.

*laughs*

Awwww, big guy. I heart you.

You can keep the tractor.

Lucy Ricardo! You get that lawnmower back to the house before Ricky finds out!

*puts the pedal to the metal*

NO! *drives by toasting her friend with a can of beer*