sixwordstories | (no subject)

Kyle? Who the hell...Kyle's not like...you're imaginary friend or anything, is he?

*gives him a look* Do I look like someone who has imaginary friends? You're the sad motha fucka that got himself a twig buddy.

Twigman is very special. My son made him for me. Maybe if you had children you'd understand.

I have three kids. All boys. Haven't seen em since boot camp. Went into this war ta keep them safe.

And who are you right now?

Sergeant Osiris...Don't judge me man. I ain't done no commentary yet.

Sure. Sure. Do you mind if I ask...what are your kid's names?

I know, but I don't gotta tell you.

You don't know because they're not real!

Man you don't know bout my personal life. Where's Alpa? He'll back a brother up.

I'm sure he would, except you're not a...brotha. I don't think fake black Australian's can be brothas.

ooc: He was talking to Alpa, and now he's trying to talk "cooler"

For once, you should listen to Speedman. If you really want you can be my brother from another mother, but you ain't my brotha. You gotta get that through your head. There ain't no black power in this friendship.

. . .Hold up. Did Speedman just say 'brotha'? That fool never learns.

Brotha's gotta stick together man. No disrespecting here. Huh!

Oh come on. I can't say "brotha" either? This is going to be a difficult collaboration, isn't it?

*...internal sigh* Uh, hey. What's up?

Man I thought you were dead. Where ya been hidin', Soldier?!

Ah well, no, no I'm still alive. No..where?

It's alright Sanclucksky. I get where ya are comin' from. My first year in war was hard too. Ya just gotta man up.

Right. I'll work on that..sir. I'm preeeeetty I'm still recovering from boot camp. It was hard and scary and wow, not a lot of fun. That guy? Was an asshole and crazy.

He's trainin' ya. You wanna get shot out here by a motha fucka? Course not. You're just lucky ya got me as Sergeant. Ya remind me of my boy. Ya got any kids, Micdusky?

Training? I think the guy just likes hitting people with bamboo sticks in the jungle. Kids? Noooooo. I'm pretty sure I'd have to actually have sex to, you know, make babies.

That's fucked up. You ain't had sex man...damn. I mean, don't worry. It'll happen.

Oh, no, no, I have had sex. I just meant it's been awhile. Since the last time.

Yea, I hear ya there. Sometimes women just can't handle a man that works long hours. Just gives us somethin' ta fight for.

I'm just ready to go home, take a hot shower, and hopefully get laid.

Cause if this movie doesn't get you laid, nothing will.

That what ya are hopin' for too Tugg?

Trust me, Lazarus. Scorcher might be done now, but it still gets me plenty of action.

*laughs heartily* Even after that retard film? People don't think that drool is attractive.

Jokes on you there, Kirk, cause nobody's seen....

Screw you.

Everybody makes movies that are bad. I told you what you did wrong man.

Yeah yeah yeah.

In an obviously mocking voice.

You never go full retard.

*shakes his head at the mocking tone* You make fun but ya never gonna learn.

Half-Squat will love me anyways.

You have a point. The herpes commercials just weren't working for me.

....I can't imagine why not.