sixwordstories | (no subject)

Your kid's wonderful!

*grumbly* I thought so too. Until he went to town in my closet.

. . .What did he do now?

Where do I start?!? I blame you. Completely. By the way. He didn't get this behavior from me.

Oh, what else is new? Something else I'm being blamed for, alert the fucking press. Did I tell you I'm responsible for global warming too? I also murder kittens from time to time. I'm an evil, evil woman Foz.

Start wherever you'd like grump, I'm listening.

He cut all my ties in half Adia! Some of those were silk. $75 DOLLAR TIES. Ruined! Also, he thought it prevalent to wash my sweaters, vests and most of my pants, so he did...IN THE POOL! Do you know what chlorine does to cotton!?!? It isn't pretty.

Oh dear God how will ever will you go on? Need I remind you of one minor detail here? You're a fucking millionaire. You could easily replace them. I'm sure he was just expressing himself. . artistically, and your ties and hideous sweater vests got in the way. Weren't you supposed to be watching the kid anyway?

It's still annoying Adia. And I had to yell at him. I hate yelling at him. He ran away from me and slammed his door about a half hour ago.

I was watching him..I just..I was doing something else. I turned my back for like a minute. Bugger is fast!

Just wait until he comes home with two tramps and a new tattoo. That will be a day of many door slams. Don't sweat this kind of thing, Foz. He's only five, he'll get over it. He loves you, he just does what he wants and expects not to be reprimanded for it. You were just being a good dad and trying to teach him right from wrong.

That was. . .shifty. What the hell were you doing?

Still, there was some yelling. The word hate was passed around. As was, I want my Mom. I hate being the bad guy. Also, he has been awfully quiet for the last 45 minutes. What could he be doing in there?

Nothing! *only a little defensive*

Well if you've taught him anything it is the fine art of hate. And incessant bitching and whining. You really should have seen this coming. Forty five minutes, huh? Impressive. He's just waiting for you to go in there and apologize I'm sure.

You have been awfully. . pleasant lately. I mean, as pleasant as you can be. Your capacity seems to be far lower than most. But this is the first time you've blamed me for something in almost a week. Seriously, what's going on? What were you doing?!

Hmpf. He learned the disobeying from you though. *folds arms* He should be apologizing to me. He ruined my favorite sweater. It was argyle Adia, you can't replace that.

What? Just drop it. I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, please. You really must think pretty highly of me considering all of the less than fortunate qualities that the kid possesses are clearly thanks to my genes. Thank God he ruined that one. I was afraid he may have missed it.

I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. Just fess up already! You know I'm not going to let this go.

Well I can't very well blame it on the father, considering he is never here!! So you are all I have. I don't really blame you, you know that. It's probably me, I'm a terrible father.

*scowls*

If he were you'd be complaining about that too. I think this is the lesser of two evils for you. Oh God, please don't pull the bad father routine on me right now. You know that isn't true.

It's your virginity isn't it? You finally re-lost it? Who to?! Do I know him?!

I miss my clothes. Go shopping with me?

Adia..stop. I really don't want to talk about this.

Will you pick out anything other than sweater vests? I mean what's the point of those things? Do you wear them because you're only ever cold in your chest/stomach area?

I'm so very right, aren't I?

Yes, I will let you pick some stuff out. I don't have to prove myself to you Adia. They are comfortable and classy. What is better than that?

I'm not answering that.