sixwordstories | (no subject)

Does anyone get a vote?

No, but I'm willing to take suggestions.

It is about time to move. Somebody is going to start asking why I'm not aging. Or you, since you get more publicity than I do.

That's actually what I was thinking...

I should get my head checked.

I promise there's no devices implanted in your brain.

Anymore.

You know what's funny about that, Josef?

Absolutely nothing.

Really? See, I found that amazingly funny.

I'm not surprised.

Maybe I won't tell you where I'm going. Get some peace and quiet for a few years.

Yes because I don't have the means, resources and connections to find you at the drop of a hat. You have fun with that, okay?

I bet I can hold out a few months at least. Give me some credit.

I'll give you a head start.

This isn't a game, you know.

Everything is a game.

This is my life.

You say that as if it changes things for me.

Mick, you want to walk away, say so.

It should.

Walk away from what, Josef? If I'm leaving LA, I'm leaving Beth. It means, yeah, I'm willing to walk.

Me. You want free of me, say it.

Since when do you not know where you're going? You fall out of another tree and whack your head?

What?

I love you and your cluelessness, Tadhgy-poo but you always know what direction you're going, I'm going, Da's going...

Also, when can I come hang out with you again? Mama and her constant baby-induced barfing ritual is starting to really bug.

What?

I think you've got me confused with someone else.

*really looks at him*

Shit, you'd think the smell would have given you away. Actually no, not really. Uncal Tadhg tends to smell funky half the time anyhow.

No joke, you look like my uncle (http://gifted-hands.livejournal.com/profile). Well, except right now. Even when he's pissed off (and I've seen him pissed off) he doesn't look like THAT. Be cool if he did though...

Oh. Yeah, I see the resemblance.

Did you just say I smell funky?

Uhm...kinda?

Not a bad funky...just look, I'll be blunt since that's what I do. I can tell what you are. You don't smell like the average Joe Bloe Human, 'kay? Neither do I, but well...

Also, before you get any brilliantly chompy ideas? I'm pretty much guaranteed to give you a tummy ache.

No, you don't. You smell like a horse. Sort of.

I don't feed off of people. Even non-human people.

Yeah well, what can I say? I'm awesome.

And this trend your people have of not nomming on my people? Waaaaaaay cool. Just saying.

I didn't know it was a trend. Everyone I know still enjoys the fresh stuff.

I've met a different guy who prefers to chow on animals, not people...

Wait, fresh? You mean you...ew. If it's congealed do you need to use a straw or something?

Animal blood doesn't nourish as well as human blood. I get it from the blood bank.

Microwave.

I'm sure the Red Cross loves you...

Ever accidentally scorch it? I did that with brownie batter once.

Yeah, they send me two for one specials on my birthdays.

Back when microwaves first came out. Now I've got a preset.

I hate those preset thingies. They LIE. Popcorn never pops all the way, soup gets too hot, pizza stays cold in the center...

Yet it gets blood to a perfect 98.6. Go figure.

Oh, yummy...

It hits the spot.

Seriously...that's gross. You know that, right?

You smell like a horse. I bet you do plenty of stuff I'd find gross.

My parents own a horse breeding ranch. Of course I smell like a horse. And then there's the other thing, which doesn't help.

I guess I do gross stuff, but I don't EAT gross stuff.

I think your mother might argue that last point, lass, given the amount of raw sugar you consume on a regular basis.

Oh, HAI THAR!

What's gross about that? It's yummy. She's just mad that the doctors stuck her on same bland freaky diet because that glucose test thingy came back high.