sixwordstories | (no subject)

And I'm guessing not by the pet cops on Animal Planet.

It's more of a veterinarian's duty, as I understand it.

Huh! So assuming we're doing the clever metaphor thing...who's the vet? Is it you? ...do you have a white coat?

That particular duty belongs to another.

...I could get a coat, though. It would amuse me, anyway.

Oh. Sucks to be them, I guess.

You totally should. I bet you can buy them online.

Scrubs, too, maybe? That wouldn't go over well, but it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside imagining the ones with little bears on them.

Wouldn't go over well with who? Clearly they just need to wear some scrubs with cute bears, too! Like a pajama party. A scrubs party.

I could make it happen.

I can do nothing but encourage this with all my tiny little heart, good sir.

I feel it only fair to warn you that you'll be shouldering the blame for it as well.

Only if I'm named! And you wouldn't do that, right?

Aye, and there's the rub: it would be very suspicious to ask your name now, wouldn't it?

Just a little! I could come up with a pseudonym--I always wanted to go by 'Queen of Hearts,' somewhere...bit long, though.

I know I've heard "Spunk Ransom" somewhere.

!! LET ME SHOW YOU.

It is the best ever.

Should I be worried?

Of course not! (http://www.youtube.com/user/rpattzweb)

For further reading (http://rpattz.livejournal.com/profile).

why would you ever--

what is--

what the actual--

I see.

I hope you're laughing on the inside, because I haven't even shown you the best part!

I'm sure you have a very exciting definition of "best".

Aww, can't we be friends? (http://twilightmomsforums.freeforums.org)

My soul hurts. My soul hurts.

Do you want a soul band-aid?

I think at this point it just needs to be amputated.

Noooooo, never give up hope!

There's always time for a miraculous recovery!

Perhaps I should pray.

"Rpattz".

It's kind of ridiculous.

But sometimes ridiculous is fun, right?

At the very least, generally harmless.

That's me. Generally harmless.

So what's your name, huh? We were on that subject a little while ago.

I am Lazare. And yourself?

Maria.

Nice name.

I thought so too, when I was younger, though it seems silly now.

How come?

Oh, it's such a cliche, isn't it?

Maybe a little. Nothing is as bad as Nevaeh, though.

"Nevaeh". Really?

I despair for this generation.

Good.

Dogs suck anyway.