I've been there myself. Actually, I dealt with something similar quite recently. It ended up working out better than I thought, but I think that was because so much time passed between the other person finding out and my keeping it from him. He grudgingly accepted it.
I have to tell someone that his daughter? Isn't his. It's the daughter of the one man he truly hates, who his wife slept with, after they were married.
I... But in some ways that daughter is still his. He raised her, right? He supported her and loved her like a father. Yes, it changes things, but it doesn't change his role in her life.
I think you would have to open with explaining what you were going to say would have a profound effect on his view of certain things? That you were worried or concerned about his reaction?
But why would he want anything more to do with her? He raised her, but based on a lie. His wife lied to him, lied to the girl. She's the daughter of a man who hurt her mother, who terrorizes her mother still. She's the daughter of the one person who he truly and completely hates.
He needs to know, but it's going to break his heart, and he's suffered so much already.
I.. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be going on like this. It's just..
Because this father ought to love her. This father has been there for her and her mother from the beginning. He may hate that other person, but how can he hate the child he raised?
I think it will hurt him, but I think he will have to realize the daughter never knew. If you're this upset, make sure you're this upset when you speak to him. He needs to know how hard this is for you. That you're going through this pain together.
No, it's all right. Believe me, I know it's hard to disappoint a parent, especially your father. But this daughter... you... Either way, she did nothing wrong. It's not her fault.
He has every right to be furious, to never speak to me again. I'll.. I'll be amazed if he doesn't kill me. Or her. Especially her. This is just... My God. I knew there were things wrong, but this...
All I ever wanted was to make him proud, and now... This comes. I have to tell him that my mother was that stupid, that my mother, even unknowingly, lied to him, that he raised another man's child. And not just any other man, no, but the one man he hates.
It will kill him, and if it.. if he.. doesn't kill her... Sometimes I think that's what she deserves. She did this to him. She and the other man. Maybe they both deserve whatever he does to them. I'll gladly accept anything he does to me.
But surely he can separate you from this other person. You're not this other man even if you are his daughter. And even then that's nothing you could control or know.
The person he'll be mad at the most will probably be your mother. She lied. She betrayed him in all the ways that matter. You can't be held responsible for that. I don't care who the other man is.
I don't think he should hurt you. At all. That's not going to solve anything.
It isn't her fault, though... Not really. I... I know that. He does too. When he thinks about it. She... There was... I don't know the details.
I just know that the other man... he kidnapped her a long time ago, before she and my father were together. Ten days alone and, after that, she was tied to him, even after marrying my father, she could never break away from him. Ask her, she openly admits to loving and needing them both.
But this... Whatever he does to whoever he does it to, I can't hold it against him. Everything else has been taken from him. He... He's been hurt so many times.
Then... I think really he needs to know and everyone needs to talk about it after. Failing that, you have to tell him the truth and be honest about your feelings. I can't... It doesn't make sense for him to hurt you. To me. He's your father.
You are his though. A father... I don't see how he could fail to remember nineteen years of you being his daughter all because something changes. You're still that girl he raised.
Maybe you're right. But, God, if he doesn't hate me... I hate myself, what I am, what I actually am, enough for the both of us. And if he doesn't kill C-- the other man? I will.
Or perhaps I'll just destroy what he really cares about. Let me know what that's like. To have what you truly love struck down.
You are not to blame for the events that shape a time before you were born. The other man sounds like he's probably eagerly waiting for everything to fall apart. Don't give him that satisfaction. Hopefully your father won't either.
Revenge... might not be the best idea right now. Just have trust and faith in your father, the man you consider to be your father.
He destroyed my mother. Tore her apart to rebuild her. He did it before. Or tried to. He didn't prepare properly with his first victim, so she could... could still tell her story. My mother... No one knows what really happened to her. She can't tell anyone. He will be sitting back, enjoying every moment of pain and suffering. That's why he told me. Because he knew I'd have to learn the truth for myself, knew I'd have to tell Daddy... if he'll even still let me call him that.
Would you let it go? Would you let someone destroy your family and not take what means most to them? A building and its inanimate content. That's what he loves. That's what I'll destroy.
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It's possible this someone will surprise you.
Locked, locked, locked, and more locked
I don't know how I'd even start...
Re: Locked, locked, locked, and more locked
I think you would have to open with explaining what you were going to say would have a profound effect on his view of certain things? That you were worried or concerned about his reaction?
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He needs to know, but it's going to break his heart, and he's suffered so much already.
I.. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be going on like this. It's just..
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I think it will hurt him, but I think he will have to realize the daughter never knew. If you're this upset, make sure you're this upset when you speak to him. He needs to know how hard this is for you. That you're going through this pain together.
No, it's all right. Believe me, I know it's hard to disappoint a parent, especially your father. But this daughter... you... Either way, she did nothing wrong. It's not her fault.
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All I ever wanted was to make him proud, and now... This comes. I have to tell him that my mother was that stupid, that my mother, even unknowingly, lied to him, that he raised another man's child. And not just any other man, no, but the one man he hates.
It will kill him, and if it.. if he.. doesn't kill her... Sometimes I think that's what she deserves. She did this to him. She and the other man. Maybe they both deserve whatever he does to them. I'll gladly accept anything he does to me.
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The person he'll be mad at the most will probably be your mother. She lied. She betrayed him in all the ways that matter. You can't be held responsible for that. I don't care who the other man is.
I don't think he should hurt you. At all. That's not going to solve anything.
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I just know that the other man... he kidnapped her a long time ago, before she and my father were together. Ten days alone and, after that, she was tied to him, even after marrying my father, she could never break away from him. Ask her, she openly admits to loving and needing them both.
But this... Whatever he does to whoever he does it to, I can't hold it against him. Everything else has been taken from him. He... He's been hurt so many times.
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It makes sense to me. I've used his name. For the last.. for the last nineteen years, I've used his name, and I'm not his.
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You are his though. A father... I don't see how he could fail to remember nineteen years of you being his daughter all because something changes. You're still that girl he raised.
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Or perhaps I'll just destroy what he really cares about. Let me know what that's like. To have what you truly love struck down.
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Revenge... might not be the best idea right now. Just have trust and faith in your father, the man you consider to be your father.
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Would you let it go? Would you let someone destroy your family and not take what means most to them? A building and its inanimate content. That's what he loves. That's what I'll destroy.
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Then... Maybe I would destroy the building. I had a hard time letting things go when my father was killed.