She looked up from her compact then showed it to him, seeming to think it was completely normal. Her eyes had lost all the spark they had regained, even the shine of defending Crane. They were... pretty much vacant, not unlike the look she had had in the hospital.
You get lost in the cracks, and you can't see where you're going, what you are...
It won't ever let me be. Even Jonathan can't stop it..
Looking at her, he knew she'd never make it to the witness stand. He should have been enraged, incensed, some kind of upset. Instead, he drew her closer. His lips very close to hers, he spoke, his voice quiet.
Then, a change came over her. Something... analytical in those emotional eyes. For a few moments, she was quiet. Then, suddenly, her voice ever so soft, she spoke.
She did not think, which would have made a good bit of difference, before she shifted forward a small, small bit more to continue the kiss, ever so lightly.
Her hand came up, touching his hair. As long as he was here, she was safe. He could protect her...
But Jonathan was supposed to do that. She pulled back from him, reluctantly, withdrawing her hand from his hair. Her hands shook a little bit as she spoke, her voice no more than a whisper.
Part of her wanted to kiss him again, and she did cave to putting her hand on his cheek. She wanted to move closer to him, right up against him, close her eyes, and forget everything... but with thoughts of Jonathan, another thought had entered her head.
No... She was hesitant to admit that he'd done anything wrong, but she supposed that couldn't be helped. But... I... shouldn't have either.
She drew her hand back, away from his skin, and she managed to smile a little. It's... okay. It... won't happen again, and... it can be... our secret...
However, she was smiling just a little, and she shook her head. As far as she saw it, they both had a reason to keep it quiet. Both had a reason it shouldn't have happened in the first place.
She couldn't help but tilt her head a bit toward his touch. It was so tempting to just shut her eyes, let herself forget everything, and kiss him again.
But that couldn't happen.
Thank you... for helping me like you have. I... know I've been trouble.
This time... it wasn't the heat of the moment. She couldn't use that as the excuse for why Harvey had kissed her. Or why she kissed him back and touched the hand on her cheek with his.
She drew back a moment later, though slowly. The tips of her fingers remained on the back of his hand.
Harvey... She kept her head, though. She wouldn't say something to put him on the spot. You're sweet. Thank you.
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He wants to believe what Rachel said - that they can make a difference here...
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You get lost in the cracks, and you can't see where you're going, what you are...
It won't ever let me be. Even Jonathan can't stop it..
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What happened, Nadine?
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Thank... Thank God Jonathan was there... He saved me... Kept me safe. Made it go away...
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Where did it find you, Nadine?
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Harvey looked confused.
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And then... they all shattered.
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Why don't you give me that?
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His fingers grazed her wrist, just slightly.
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That I'm not safe.
That it's always waiting for me. Just... over my shoulder. Just around the corner. I can't escape it.
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He held onto her wrist, his voice steady, his hold firm, but reassuring.
You can help us put the Scarecrow away, Nadine. He'll never hurt you again.
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Her hand holding the compact trembled slightly, but she kept a hold on it.
Jonathan... wouldn't be hurt? I... don't want it hurting him. He... understands. He protects me.
Then, with some hesitation, she managed to say something else.
I... can't testify. Against Szaz. Jonathan... says it wouldn't be good for me.
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He frowned.
Nadine--if you don't testify agains Szaz...he will go free.
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I... talked to Jonathan about it. He... doesn't think I should.
Can't you... Don't you...
I can't.
You... you know he... took me. You have the tape... That isn't enough?
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He looked slightly shaken.
If you don't, we've got next to nothing.
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I... can't...
He'd told her not to. She couldn't disobey. He knew best. He might think she wasn't listening to him, that she didn't want him to treat her.
He... said not to...
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Without thinking, he put a hand to her cheek, tilting her head up.
We--I need you to, Nadine.
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In her mind, she weighed them against one another.
She had to follow Jonathan's advice. He was a professional. He wanted to help her. She needed him.
But Harvey needed her. He needed her help. He had a job to do too. He wanted to help her too.
She bit at her lip again and spoke quietly, her head tilted just slightly toward the hand on her cheek.
Harvey...
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He looked at her intensely, face closer to hers, his voice gaining fervor as he went on.
I know you know what's right here. You know that we're sworn to uphold the law.
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He wouldn't be happy with that, she knew. He wouldn't like her questioning him. But she wasn't. She...
Harvey needed her to help. She couldn't ignore that.
She reached up and touched the hand on her cheek.
Let me talk to him. Let me ask again. I'll... tell him that... I need to.
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You don't have to listen to him, Nadine. This is about your job. Your job -- it's something he won't understand.
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She could, at least, see the cause and effect there.
He understands... He will understand... But if I don't listen to him...
She stared at him, moving the faintest bit closer, trying not to cry again.
Harvey... I need him... if I lose him...
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It was less about the case now and more about her state of mind. His fingertips moved from her cheek down to her jaw.
What do I have to do to convince you, Nadine?
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Harvey... I'm so sorry...
Exactly what she was sorry about, she didn't say.
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It's not your fault.
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She was speaking quickly, quivering a little.
I asked Jonathan. I asked him.
Then, a change came over her. Something... analytical in those emotional eyes. For a few moments, she was quiet. Then, suddenly, her voice ever so soft, she spoke.
I'll do it.
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Are you sure?
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Jonathan... said he... couldn't recommend... that I do it. He... never said I couldn't.
It was a technicality, but she was a lawyer.
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We'll work with that, then.
Except this time, by 'we', he meant himself and her. He traced her jaw line with a finger, almost absently, as he spoke.
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I... I'm glad I can help.
The contact and way of speaking was as effective a reward as Crane's days' long silence had been a punishment.
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But Jonathan was supposed to do that. She pulled back from him, reluctantly, withdrawing her hand from his hair. Her hands shook a little bit as she spoke, her voice no more than a whisper.
I... I'm sorry...
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I--no--I shouldn't have--
He ran a hand through his hair, realizing the gravity of what he'd just done.
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No... She was hesitant to admit that he'd done anything wrong, but she supposed that couldn't be helped. But... I... shouldn't have either.
She drew her hand back, away from his skin, and she managed to smile a little. It's... okay. It... won't happen again, and... it can be... our secret...
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If he didn't feel like a total asshole before, he did now.
I'm sorry, Nadine...I-am so sorry.
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I shouldn't have either. Don't worry.
Please?
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He brushed her cheek with a hand again.
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But that couldn't happen.
Thank you... for helping me like you have. I... know I've been trouble.
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You're...not trouble.
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She drew back a moment later, though slowly. The tips of her fingers remained on the back of his hand.
Harvey... She kept her head, though. She wouldn't say something to put him on the spot. You're sweet. Thank you.