sixwordstories | *Locked to Snake*

I've been busy. Haven't had time to talk to anyone lately.

Are you too busy to talk now?

I'm here aren't I?

Good point.

So I couldn't help but notice that every time I turn around you're fighting someone else. *puts her hands up before he can say anything* And even though you can't imagine how pissed off I am to hear that you upset Zee, freaked out on Pepper, and pulled a gun on Bealiegh, I'm not here to yell at you. Actually, I'm here to make up. Am I chasing my tail on this one or is it possible?

I have my reasons. I've apologized where I can. Bealiegh I drew a gun on to get her to leave before something out of my control happened. She doesn't know or care to know what or why. Shame really but nothing I can do about it.

Snake shrugged. He spoke even and calmly. You can come and make up but if you've come for an apology from me you are chasing it. I'm tired Lauren. Tired of people thinking they can say or do to me anything they want, shit they wouldn't do to other people and think I'll sit back and take it. I'm not doing that anymore. If people can't understand that then they aren't much of friends anyway.

I don't need an apology. I don't even want one. I'm just worried about you. I don't know what's going on in your life that's got you so up in arm and I don't really expect you to tell me. I just hate the idea of fighting with you over something as stupid as our argument especially when I'm fairly certain there's more to whatever's pissing you off.

Aside from kicking 6 drug addictions at once, people hunting and trying to kill my family day in and day out and my constant internal companion, what do you want to know? Do I need more reasons? I got them if you do.

Snake sighed. To me that wasn't a stupid argument. I was really pissed off and insulted. Age is a big issue for my wives and I. Something we talk about because I'm getting old, getting really old for my "line of work". What you were talking wasn't just some passing bullshit in my life. I tried to explain that and when you didn't listen I got furious. Might as well been telling someone with a terminal illness not to think about leaving their wife behind too young when they planned on growing old together. Same idea.

I didn't know about the addictions. I suspected one. I never guessed 6. Internal companion?

*looks confused* The argument wasn't about the age difference with your wives.

Most people know about them. I was given lot of drugs by the government; coke, meth, opium, painkillers, experimental drugs that I'd have to steal to get a fix. When I started seeing my fertility specialist he suggested I try and cut back on them if nothing else. I got frustrated one day and just flushed everything. That's why I ended up in the hospital after ODing. Quit too fast. Hell, I even spent a while off the prescriptions for my eye. Add to it the steroid treatments to help my body overcome the drug issues and makes a time bomb. I tried to tell people and when I couldn't it's why I apologized to some people.

It's complicated but if you want me to explain I will. You saw some of the effects of him when we were arguing.

Snake shook his head. That's where the flaring started. When I said that they'd still be young when I died. That's why I started drinking again and looked away. Your sarcastic comment about it after is what set me off. '

How long have you been clean?

That's what you were angry about? *sighs* You know what? Nevermind. Is it something you can get over or are you planning to stay mad about it?

Trying for three months or so. On and off. Shit isn't easy especially when I know the cravings for some of it might never go away. Be fighting the shit the rest of my life.

You don't understand do you? I'm as old as my wives' fathers. Don't get it do you? Snake frowned. I'm not mad. I'm wondering why you're refusing to see why this is something that matters and is upsetting to me. I'm wondering why you're expecting me not to get upset over something I find insulting. Why can't I just explain why I felt some way and have you accept it?

Have you tried a methadone clinic or would that be too risky given your situation?

I understand that it's something you are self conscious about but age difference is not something I'm prepared to get all freaked out over. I didn't bring it up and the "sarcastic" comment after was me fairly pissed off saying we should change the subject before I hit you. See? Just like I didn't understand why you got upset, you seemingly have no idea why I was upset. Or care really. So since neither of us plan to apologize and our reasons for being upset don't seem to really concern the other, can't we just forget it instead of talking it to death?

I don't want to fight. I didn't even want to fight you that night. *pauses* Well, no, that's not true. After you threatened Andy I wanted to rip your fucking head off. But before that I didn't want to fight.

Way too risky.

I did understand. That's why I tried to clarify, even that night I did. Just a fucking mess. I can forget it long as you know if it comes up again my reaction ain't likely to change.

I did want to fight. I can't stop that. Snake frowned. Defense mechanism for me to fight. too used to being attacked and too much influence from my companion to do it. That growling was him. You were talking to both of us. Please, do me a favor, if I start growling don't get physical with me. If he gets control he will use me to kill you.

*nods*

I don't know why it would come up again. I wouldn't matter to me if you were 50 years older. Not just 20. You can't help who you fall for.

Um... I think you are going to have to explain to me who "he" is.

I know it doesn't matter to you. You can't help it or the consequences. Consequences aren't always easy to deal with.

Going to think I'm crazy but bear with me. I'm bonded, possessed, whatever you want to call it by an angel. He's got a couple names. Apollyon the Destroyer's the one he likes. He's the son of Lucifer, antichrist if you want to get religious about it. Snake sighed. I'm destruction. I'm always fighting with his desire to destroy everything, even me. Got a hell lot of anger in me.

It sucks I'm sure. It's a shame you don't have a knock out for a wife to go home though. *smiles a little* For all the consequences, the bonuses have to be amazing.

*Listens not thinking he's crazy at all* I was a thrall to a demon once. It didn't make me angry but I get it. Can you get it out of you?

I wish both of them were at home for me to go to but they're not. Snake smiled sadly. Bonuses are great but the downs are lot worse sometimes.

I'm not a thrall. Snake shook his head. No. There's other issues to. Much as I hate him some days without me he does back to being tortured. Know too much about that to wish it on anyone.

Maybe someday. Other than dying before them and the occasional asswipe that doesn't approve, what downs could there be?

No, I don't mean that you are. I wasn't possessed. I recognize the difference. I'm just not all shockfaced about it. Demons happen. I get it. So instead he tortures you. Oh yeah, that's fair.

Hope I make it that long. Two women who's lives I endanger, juggling three people's emotions in a relationship instead of two. Lot of things. All the problems any relationship has compounded.

He's not a demon either. He's an angel. There's a big difference. Snake sighed. Also the problem that to send him back I've got to die permanently, not just my body either. Lucifer chose me for a reason. Don't like him much but I understand. Too well sometimes. His son is tortured because he was created... born. My own children aren't far from those circumstances. Guess I got some sympathy for the Devil.

Oh. I thought you were just talking about the age thing. I get all that. It can't be easy.

You know, I'm not exactly the best person to talk religious shit with but A) Why would God allow the torture of one of his own? B) If the angel was forsaken wouldn't that make it a demon? Isn't that how all demons started?

The age is just most often brought up and the one I can't escape.

He was created without God's permission. God apparently tossed his favorite angel out into despair too. Don't ask me.

No. Even fallen angels are still bound by some of the qualities that make them angels. They're still angels. Demons are a different being, different rules. Snake finally smiled. He gets really pissed over being called a demon.

Personally, I always get caught up in God commanding him to destroy creation. I don't understand but that's what happens.

How can you create something without God's permission? It's God.

This shit makes me glad I'm not Christian. There's nothing about this shit that makes sense.

Lucifer obviously found a way.

I'm not Christian either. Shit blows my mind. I don't even try to understand.

So are we okay?

If i wasn't ok you'd know.

*nods* Good.

One thing you'll never have to worry about with me sweetheart. I'll tell you just what I'm thinking.

Locked to Snake

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