(It wasn't his favorite thing, waking up after being put in a drug induced sleep. He had been slowly regaining consciousness for the last hour, his head was still buzzing but he had a better understanding of what had happened. He felt terrible, inside and out. He felt like he was having a really horrible hangover, he almost preferred the nightmares. Finally, after fighting with himself about what he wanted to say, he turned to Megan and uttered the first pathetic word that came to his mind.)
[After he'd finally fallen asleep, she debated back and forth for hours with herself trying to decide if she should stay or not. First he told her he loved her, then it seemed like it was nothing. And when he finally asked her to stay, he was drugged up. Brought back into herself when he spoke, she straightened up in her chair, offering a weak smile that never quite made it to her eyes]
(The smile, if anything, made him feel ten times worse than if she had cried. She was faking it, pretending to be happy for him instead of being honest. He cringed.)
Would you? I've been stuck in a hospital for so long I've almost forgotten what the sky looks like. I just feel...(He trailed off. This part was hard for him.)
[He had her full attention now, though. Despite everything that had happened, she cared about him more than she should. It was what had kept her in the room while he slept when she knew she should go home]
You're going to be just fine, you know. This center is the best, and you're one of the strongest people I know. It doesn't always feel that way, I know that, but you're going to be fine.
I'm not though, Megan. (He brought up his hand to rub at his eyes. He didn't want to talk about this, but he had to.) I'm not ever going to be..right again. Not entirely. I'll probably never be able to use my hand correctly again and the...confusion, disorientation and...fucking mood swings probably won't leave either. Who is going to hire someone, no, who is going to want to be around someone that might freak out and turn a table over just because he forgot his phone number? I can't even..I can't even stop it. It just happens and I hate it and I hate myself but I can't do anything to control it.
(Sighing, he just looked defeated now. Weak for letting it get to him like this.) I can't keep letting you stay here with me. I can't keep holding you back to deal with my baggage. I love you, so...I have to let you go.
[Steeling herself as he spoke, at his last sentence she couldn't hold back any longer. The chair scraped quietly on the floor as she pushed up, crossing the room to him. Without hesitation, she reached out to take his face between her hands]
You're not holding me back from anything, alright? This is where I want to be. I want to be with you. [Her thumbs brushing back and forth over his cheeks, she gave another weak smile] Defective hand, anger management problems and all.
(He had really almost thought she was going to take him up on the offer to hit him when she crossed the room. She had moved so suddenly, it made his heart pick up anxiously. He listened to her and had no choice but to nod.) I will never ask you to leave again...I don't think I could do this without you.
(It wasn't his favorite thing, waking up after being put in a drug induced sleep. He had been slowly regaining consciousness for the last hour, his head was still buzzing but he had a better understanding of what had happened. He felt terrible, inside and out. He felt like he was having a really horrible hangover, he almost preferred the nightmares. Finally, after fighting with himself about what he wanted to say, he turned to Megan and uttered the first pathetic word that came to his mind.)
[After he'd finally fallen asleep, she debated back and forth for hours with herself trying to decide if she should stay or not. First he told her he loved her, then it seemed like it was nothing. And when he finally asked her to stay, he was drugged up. Brought back into herself when he spoke, she straightened up in her chair, offering a weak smile that never quite made it to her eyes]
(The smile, if anything, made him feel ten times worse than if she had cried. She was faking it, pretending to be happy for him instead of being honest. He cringed.)
Would you? I've been stuck in a hospital for so long I've almost forgotten what the sky looks like. I just feel...(He trailed off. This part was hard for him.)
[He had her full attention now, though. Despite everything that had happened, she cared about him more than she should. It was what had kept her in the room while he slept when she knew she should go home]
You're going to be just fine, you know. This center is the best, and you're one of the strongest people I know. It doesn't always feel that way, I know that, but you're going to be fine.
I'm not though, Megan. (He brought up his hand to rub at his eyes. He didn't want to talk about this, but he had to.) I'm not ever going to be..right again. Not entirely. I'll probably never be able to use my hand correctly again and the...confusion, disorientation and...fucking mood swings probably won't leave either. Who is going to hire someone, no, who is going to want to be around someone that might freak out and turn a table over just because he forgot his phone number? I can't even..I can't even stop it. It just happens and I hate it and I hate myself but I can't do anything to control it.
(Sighing, he just looked defeated now. Weak for letting it get to him like this.) I can't keep letting you stay here with me. I can't keep holding you back to deal with my baggage. I love you, so...I have to let you go.
[Steeling herself as he spoke, at his last sentence she couldn't hold back any longer. The chair scraped quietly on the floor as she pushed up, crossing the room to him. Without hesitation, she reached out to take his face between her hands]
You're not holding me back from anything, alright? This is where I want to be. I want to be with you. [Her thumbs brushing back and forth over his cheeks, she gave another weak smile] Defective hand, anger management problems and all.
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Hi.
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Hey.
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Do you want to hit me? I would deserve it.
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I can't hit a cripple, I wouldn't do well in jail.
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I'm sorry Megan, I...I wasn't myself.
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I know you weren't. They had you on some pretty heavy drugs.
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I meant before that..
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[Of course, when she said 'here' she wasn't just referring to the VA center, but New York City.
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Would you? I've been stuck in a hospital for so long I've almost forgotten what the sky looks like. I just feel...(He trailed off. This part was hard for him.)
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You're going to be just fine, you know. This center is the best, and you're one of the strongest people I know. It doesn't always feel that way, I know that, but you're going to be fine.
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(Sighing, he just looked defeated now. Weak for letting it get to him like this.) I can't keep letting you stay here with me. I can't keep holding you back to deal with my baggage. I love you, so...I have to let you go.
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You're not holding me back from anything, alright? This is where I want to be. I want to be with you. [Her thumbs brushing back and forth over his cheeks, she gave another weak smile] Defective hand, anger management problems and all.
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Hi.
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Hey.
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Do you want to hit me? I would deserve it.
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I can't hit a cripple, I wouldn't do well in jail.
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I'm sorry Megan, I...I wasn't myself.
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I know you weren't. They had you on some pretty heavy drugs.
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I meant before that..
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[Of course, when she said 'here' she wasn't just referring to the VA center, but New York City.
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Would you? I've been stuck in a hospital for so long I've almost forgotten what the sky looks like. I just feel...(He trailed off. This part was hard for him.)
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You're going to be just fine, you know. This center is the best, and you're one of the strongest people I know. It doesn't always feel that way, I know that, but you're going to be fine.
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(Sighing, he just looked defeated now. Weak for letting it get to him like this.) I can't keep letting you stay here with me. I can't keep holding you back to deal with my baggage. I love you, so...I have to let you go.
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You're not holding me back from anything, alright? This is where I want to be. I want to be with you. [Her thumbs brushing back and forth over his cheeks, she gave another weak smile] Defective hand, anger management problems and all.
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