sixwordstories | (no subject)

What is the situation?

ALL situations!

You know, what I really want is a gun that fires swords. Now that would just be AWESOME.

(I'd like to see the warning label for THAT)

I know, right???

You do know what they say about men wanting big toys? Right?

That we have big things to kill?

(Or big paychecks?)

Or big truck nuts?

(Or big schlongs?)

Definitely big schlongs.

(Definitely.)

You look familiar. And that pattern of speech... rings a bell from somewhere.

Ever read a comic book?

(Don't be ridiculous! She's hot. Hot girls don't read comic books.)

You have a point, parenthesis. Guess I'm just somebody that...

(DON'T DO IT!)

...you uuuused to knooow...

(Dammit. You did it. Sigh.)

Comic books...

[April snaps her fingers.]

Deadpool! You are Deadpool! Xander had all your comics.

Swords.

For you? I might say gunswords, but I prefer blades.

The one and only!!!

(Well, there WAS Evil Deadpool...)

Naaah, I killed him.

(Either way, a hottie knows who we are!)

Score!

But you love yourself some guns!! You sure, Pretty-in-Latex?

Ooo! Ooo! I could be like those Final Fantasy characters then! Heck yeah!

Well, of course you prefer blades, Hot Stuff, but how's the practice with the gun going?

You need the gravity-defying hair for it. I think that's a requirement, actually.

Well, I managed not to shoot myself. [She'd missed her foot by an inch at first, but shh, that didn't count.]

...DAMN! *takes her by her shoulders and shakes her a little* Do you understand the implications of what you just said? DO YOU??? No...nonono...that means...that means that Edward Cullen is qualified to use a gunsword....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*calm again just like that* Is that progress? Because if so, somebody might need a lessons montage. People always come out experts after a good training montage.

I wish I had more time with those comics. But Xander is gone now... so [April shrugs softly]

[She blinked at him, then burst out laughing] Okay, that just broke my brain. What's he supposed to use it on? A chipmunk?

[Still smiling, she rolled her eyes] Sorry, sug, but in the real world, takes more than a few camera pans to teach someone how to use a deadly weapon.

*shrugs* I dunno. Whatever chest burster thing I hear comes out of Bella's abdomen? Seriously, from what I hear, those books/movies are effed up!!!

I dunno, you'd be surprised! Although we don't have any good camera pans, just a back and forth of icons, and I only really have a gun in one, but still! We can get you assassinating people who make fun of your purple peepers in NO time!

Comixology, my dear hottie! Just sign up, buy a whole bunch of comics, set to reading, and you'll be the next cosplay Tumblr posterchild before you know it! Giving mouthbreathers everywhere a little dose of joy...

And I am sure you would recommend yours... say over reading the series that an alternate of my husband is modeled after.

I admit. I read them out of curiosity. I very much wish I hadn't.

[She brought a hand up to her eyes.] Hey... what's wrong with them?

You and many, many others, Hot Stuff. *puts a hand on her shoulder and bows her head* I'm sorry for your loss. Of time, dignity, self-respect, innocence to the horrors people can vomit onto a page, etc, etc.

*pushes the hand down* Absolutely nothing, Hot Stuff! Well, as long as you aren't a Mary Sue or anything. I mean, unnatural color eyes can be a sign of a Mary Sue, BUT...you don't seem to fit that bill! Sooooo...that's why you assassinate people for making fun of them! OR pervs who develop a fetish for them. You know, either/or.

(Cause pervs are a real possibility.)

Hell yeah they are. Creepsters LOVE that kinda stuff. You'd probably have more problems with them than anyone making fun of those pretty purple peepers.

Well duh. Your hubby is Superman. His movie kinda tanked. BUT! If *I* had a movie, it would ROCK. No offense to your hubby and all, but I can guarantee that my comics are better!

Mainline stuff, not mini-series. Those are usually done by random dudes who aren't as good. And for the love of all that's holy, stay away from the Deadpool Corps. THAT was just cosplay fodder for all the peeps with boobs that wanted to pretend to be yours truly. I think it's hot, but the comics were NOT.

Mary Sue? Um... no. Don't think so. Got my foibles, just like everyone else.

[Pokes at his hand]

You and your fascination with creepers and pervs. I generally get by just fine without calling any creepy pervy attention to myself. That's what sunglasses are for. Then I just look like a natural goth. [Eyeroll]

He is not quite Superman yet. But he is getting there. I know he will be wearing the suit before the baby is born [She is in her second trimester]

Weren't you in a movie? Or are you denying that for sanity... if you can call it that... reasons.

Good to know! Then that's settled.

*looks at her poking his hand and lifts an eyebrow*

(She touched us! She really touched us! SCORE!)

Naaah, I just AM a creeper and a perv, and I wanna protect the yous of the world from the me's! You strike me as a good kid-

(She's 31. Just for the record.)

-okay, lady, and sometimes shades just won't cut it! Besides, the whole goth thing can get you in trouble too. No one does drama like a goth! And the EMO! *taps his chin* I mean, you could get lucky and meet mostly fashionable goths that do the dapper suits and stuff - I hear they're pretty okay - but that's assuming a LOT of luck!

Also, your profile says you hang out over there at smuttysws! I bet creepers hang out there ALL THE TIME!

(Yeah, cause you totally haven't thought about applying there. Oh wait, I'm in your head. I AM your head. Never mind.)