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Or was he wearing it when the baby was conceived? Hubba HUBBA!!! Giggity!

(SUPERSMUT!)

...*pauses* THAT WAS NOT ME! THAT WAS SOME KIND OF MORTAL KOMBAT BARAKKA THING. Although I'll accept the me from the first half. That was all kinds of cool. But seriously!!! That dude had his mouth glued shut! NOT ME!!!

So, basically, what you're saying is that I should be on the lookout from you? But... you're kinda fun. And I can do plenty of protecting myself.

M'not really the goth type, but the whole dark hair/light skin thing sort of pre-paints me as one. I keep telling them I don't smoke clove cigarettes and I have actual emotions, most of them even pleasant, but, they just look at me like I'm deluding myself.

... General thing, really. I prefer it for the non-pg options. Haven't gotten any nibbles with the one I threw up, so... [Shrug] I guess that means there aren't any creepers there?

You wouldn't be able to last that long without talking. But at least you are honest about everything you say.

It's your fae curiosity! I'm NOT really that fun! I'm a crazy fugly creeper dude!

(Well, we are actually pretty fun. It sells our books.)

Okay, so maybe a LITTLE fun. But only because I need to teach you to use the gun. Fae don't usually like guns, so it'll do you a lot of good.

*squinty eyes and pursed lips* You probably just got lucky, but I guarantee you, there HAVE to be creepers there. I'll bet you twenty bucks.

I WOULD DIE.

(We would. It is truth.)

...Wait, honestywhat? What do you mean?

Maybe. You seem fun to me. And fugliness is relative. Trust me, there are some 'gorgeous' people that I'd like to ram a spit up their ass and slow roast over an open flame.

Honestly? They kinda scare me. They're loud, and um... [Points to pointy ear]

If there are any creepers, none have bothered me. I've been creeper free, sug.

You get to the point. And mean what you say. Its refreshing.

But back to the point... I prefer swords myself. The whole Slayer training goes basically cut off the head when you can. And you can't do that with a gun.

And as for used against me... healing after a gunshot takes a little longer. Usually because of the bullet.

Oooooh Hot Stuff...Pretty Peepers...Pointy Ears...see, this is why you need a good trainer. You have SO much to learn. *takes the gun he gave her out of wherever she stashed it, screws on a silencer, and hands it to her* There. Shoot something. Trust me.

(Heh...trust a creeper! You just asked her to trust a creeper! Next you'll be inviting her back to your big white van...)

Twenty. Bucks. You on?

[Lifts a brow at him fishing it out of her pants, but, hey, whatevs. Takes it with a wrinkled nose, aiming it at the ground-- and firing] There.

... It doesn't count if you're the one creeping on me.

But...why does the honesty matter? *shrugs* I'm honest cause...well..cause why not? If you're a hottie, I'm gonna let you know! If your hubby's movie tanked, I'll let you know that too!

*screws up his lips behind the mask and sighs* You PEOPLE and your SWORDS! Seriously, what IS it with you vampire hunter types??? I mean, I love me some swords, don't get me worng, BUT...okay look. Vampire. Right there. *points at one running across a random field sparkling up the place*

PULL! *he whips out a double barreled shotgun and fires. The head pretty much disintegrates* See? SEE? What's your sword got on THAT splut?

OW! OWOWOWOW!! MY FOOT!!!

(She so needs work...)

But did it hurt your ears? *Holding up his foot and looking at the hole close in the flesh...but not the spandex*

*flails at her* Look at my profile! Am I ON SmuttySWS??? Would I do such a thing as to join just to prove you wrong and win twenty bucks? Me? Really? Now take my bet so I can afford to go see the new Batman movie a few times when it comes out!!

OH GOD, I'M SO SORRY!

[Kneels down and puts the gun on the ground, then looks at his foot]

Crap, crap, crap. I'm sorry. Really, really sorry. See? I'm a menace.

... You very well might. I'll get a random message from you in a week and you'll start creeping.

[It would only be Deadpool who could manage finding a sparkling vampire to shoot. And the world is much safer]

We hunt vampires and demons. And I guess... I don't know it must be the old Watcher training in the fact that they used swords before they used guns.

I have not had gun training. At all.

Pff, don't apologize. I get shot all the time! I figured that might happen the first time around. You're not a menace...yet. But if you won't hire me to kill your problem, then you should hire me to teach you to shoot it in the face! Because you fae fight magic things. Magic things tend to be immune to magic, right? So that's when you just say "Fuck it" and shoot the damn thing you're fighting! Can I get a "HOORAH?"

(HOORAH!)

Heh. Total jarhead moment.

*holds HIS heart* You WOUND me! Assuming that I would cheat! Play dirty just to win! Besides, why doesn't it count if *I'm* the one creeping on you? Creeping is creeping!

Your logic is actually sound. I don't know if I can argue with it. What kind of payment plan am I looking at, here?

[Smirks] Creeping doesn't count if you know and like the person creeping on you. Then it's just flirting.

SERIOUSLY? You haven't had gun training EITHER?! I need to start up a freaking school...I'd make a killing!

(No pun intended?)

No pun...well okay, maybe a little pun..intended.

(Either way, the school is totally a bitchin' idea. All the hot sword babes would come to US for gun lessons!)

You would be willing to teach me?

I dunno. I'll let you make installments though! I accept all forms of payment, bartering, etc etc. I'm pretty flexible with my buds.

Hmmmm...You know and like the mask, Hot Stuff! At most, you'd just be curious to see what's underneath, but then! Well then it'd be creeping all the way!

I happen to be a pretty decent cook, especially of Louisiana food. You like sweet potato or pecan pie?

Go take a peek at some of the nastier Unseelie fae, sug. And you're upfront with your whole crazy pile of crazy. I like that.

Chica, I do ANYTHING I get paid to do! Besides, when Supes goes all bugshit insane, as he sometimes is known to do, you've gotta know how to fire the green bullets at his kneecaps! If you don't know how to use a gun when somebody's been spiking his Cheerios with red Kryptonite, then you'd be likely to just shoot him in the chest, and then you'd be down one hubby and THAT would be awkward...

Yes and YES. And any rendition of chimichangas you can do would also be gladly accepted. Looks like we have the start of a most excellent deal!

*clasps his hands and grins with delight* I LOVE it when you get all Southern Belle on me with the accent and the sug!

(Careful! She might think THAT's your fetish!)

What?

(Don't what me! YOU KNOW how many people have a thing for Rogue!)

Point...but anyways! You wouldn't FLIRT with all of those nasty Unseelie fae! They'd be CREEPY! See?

*stashes the gun back in her pants* Now, you take care of that, and next time I see your pretty purple peepers, we'll get to some lessons! For now, it's sleepy time for this merc. Off to pornographic dreams. Although if any of my dream chicks have purple eyes, I'm blaming YOU. Those things're damn near mesmerizing. They really stick with a guy...

(Heh heh...stashing a gun in her pants...heh heh...)

Heh heh...

I'll look up a recipe for chimichangas, and we might have ourselves a deal.

[A grin at his enthusiasm, and a bit of an eyeroll]

It's habit, but I can try to cool it down if it gets you too excited.

I might if I thought it would keep me from getting eaten.

[Thinks he might just be enjoying that a bit too much]

If you do, I'll expect to hear all about it.

I guess the big question is how much?

I do love a good gun, however, sword, knives and hands? Far more personal.

Depends on who you're hunting.