[The slight creek in the door alerts Jem to her presence. He lifts his head and stops playing. His face brightens up into a delighted smile. He holds his hand out towards her.]
Tessa, come in please. Are you having trouble sleeping?
[The walk about London proved only helpful to exhaust him. Sometimes he liked to stir up a little trouble just to expel the energy he always pent up inside of him when everything weighed too heavily on his chest. Things like his love for Tessa... his love for his parabatai...
And why it seemed so imperative that people could only love one person in order to be happy. Loving both of them hurt as much as it gave him life.
Which was why he stopped outside Jem's door as the music of the violin permeated his senses. Leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes so he wouldn't find himself looking from Jem's door to Tessa's. And in the end, like sensory memory, he opened Jem's door and slid inside damp and sodden from the foggy streets of London.]
The music weaved the theme of three lives intertwined. It made him happy when sleep only brought nightmares. Jem flowed over the area representing himself and pours his passion into those for Will and Tessa. They gave him something to live for.
He knew it was Will in the doorway without looking up, so he does not set down the violin immediately. He finished the tune first before he lifted his eyelashes from his cheeks with a smile.
"Your clothes are in a terrible state, did you have a disagreement with the ducks in the pond?" There is genuine concern mixed in with the playful greeting for Will is forever getting himself in to danger when Jem doesn't accompany him out.
Somewhere in the haze of beautiful music, Will leaned back against the wall just inside the door. His dark lashes still pressed to pale cheeks. Color brought on by the chill and dampness. When Jem spoke up and the music died out, he let his eyes open slowly so he could take the slighter form in.
For all the weakness of the effects brought on by yin fen he never saw Jem as weak or less than his version of perfection. Tessa spoke the language of his heart, but Jem was interwoven into the fabric of his soul. After just a small moment to collect himself, a small pull at the side of his lips revealed a smirk.
"Luckily for them, they have long since been to bed. But that doesn't mean that other nasties don't like to annoy me by crowding my streets at night." Or... realistically, he badgered them till they became irritated enough to start a scuffle. "You're up late."
"You must stop stirring up the locals," Jem said with a shake of the head. There was no real admonishment, he had lost count of the amount of times he had said it to no avail.
Jem turned away from Will briefly to place the violin in its customary resting place.
"I had not realised the time," he said as he straightened. It is a half truth. He could never let Will fuss, or put it on him to spend the night in the same room s him when he was perfectly well.
He scanned the face that he knew better than his own for injury. His own eyes were bright, even if there were dark circles around them. All lay well on Will's regular features and Jem breathed a sigh of relief. Still his eyes lingered on for a moment, and rememorized every detail.
"I wanted to get this piece of music right before your usual over the top morning behaviour distracted."
"I'm sure they run home just to remark to their families about how they had the most remarkable brush with a stranger that changed their lives." Grinning at that, it stood like a juxtaposition to the exhaustion in the slight fall of his shoulders and matching rings to his parabatai's about his own eyes.
There stood a dark bruise on one side of his face, but not that bad. Not really. He'd had far more in the past during his excursions. Tonight just proved unbelievably difficult to handle as he'd watched Tessa and Jem at dinner and after.
It all felt like he was slowly closed off from the two things he lived for without them even realizing or meaning to.
"You speak of my wonderful nature as though it's a bad thing." Pressing a hand to his damp chest, he feigned shock. "Truly, James, you should not jest."
"I am sure they have gone home with headache," Jem said. He gestured for Will to take a seat in the lazy chair. There was something in his expression that said he would not take no for an answer. He reached for his stele to heal Will once he was sat down.
"You look like you have worse than a headache, William," he added gently. It pained him to see the tension and unhappiness in his parabatai, both of which he had no means to heal without Will opening up to him.
If he couldn't be close to Tessa. If he had to shut her down and every inkling of feeling for her... he could have this. He could have Jem's affection the only way he likely ever would. Moving away from the wall, he raked a hand through his damp hair causing it to muss and curl against the sides of his face and neck.
"That is a possibility, but nothing I can't manage." Grinning at him cheekily, he did as he was told. He tried to do as Jem asked. He always tried. Which was why he sank into the chair and seemed to melt into the cushions.
"Is your song almost done? You said you were working on it..." Deep blue rested on James with fixated adoration that was partially shielded by a curtain of dark lashes half lowered.
It was long past the hour that she should have found her bed, but her thoughts would not allow her to sleep. Will had acted strangely most of the evening, at least to Tessa his behavior had seemed odd. It may have seemed so to Jem as well, but she was uncertain how to ask without there being other questions, ones that none of them would ever want asked.
Since sleep eluded her, she tried to lose herself in a book, comforted by the sound of Jem's violin. Her attention moving from one novel to another, but never lingering for more than a few pages. Finally, she had picked up the Shadowhunter Codex, rereading each section documenting warlocks even though she'd memorized each one.
The words held no comfort, not when they represented how her life had changed and how so much of it couldn't be shared with either of the men she loved. Lost in thought, it took Tessa a few moments to realize that Jem had stopped playing. Finding her wrap, she hurried across the hall to Jem's room, wondering what had interrupted the Shadowhunter, unsurprised when she saw Will with his parabatai
Standing in the doorway, she couldn't help thinking of how they would eventually be taken from her and how she and Jem had unintentionally hurt Will. All she could do was watch them, aching to find some answer that would bring them each the happiness they deserved.
"It is ready for your ears tomorrow," Jem promised with a soft smile as he drew the Iratze carefully above the bruise. There was nothing but love in those silver eyes "There was one area giving me trouble." He had found it hard to move from the sections on Will to Tessa and visa versa. His love for them was equal but he could not express this to anyone, even himself.
His hand dropped to Will's shoulder and tightened there as he turned towards the door, drawn there be some hidden force. "And for you Tessa," he added, delighted to see her as always. "Come in. Will has been on another of his excursions."
When the tip of Jem's stele touched his skin, his eyes closed. No one held his trust and respect like his parabatai. Therefore blind trust was easily given. "I have to wait that long? You are a cruel one." Even as he said it, his lips upturned in a small smile. "And here I thought I held special privilege."
His eyes only opened again when he felt the hand squeeze his shoulder. Only to stop altogether as he followed the track of Jem's eyes to the door. Oh... he'd left that open.
Dark blue rested on Tessa's form and something burned in pain inside his chest. Lips parting, he took in a deep breath and forced himself to look away. When he looked at her it was like drowning. Much like it felt with Jem... but with her, he couldn't. Even the slightest hint and he could break his Jem's heart. But that didn't mean his misery would be lumped on top of either of them. "Excursion. Outing. It was very invigorating. Nothing like a late night activity to get the heart going."
That cheeky smile flit over his lips as he looked up at Jem. He wanted so badly to look over at Tessa... so badly it hurt. But some things were worse than pain. Like the pain of others he loved dearly.
It didn't surprise her that Jem noticed her presence. He always seemed to know when she was near and sensed her moods better than almost anyone else ever had. Some of her melancholy slipped away when Tessa saw his delight at seeing her, but she still felt that she was intruding on something private that she should have no part of.
Will and Jem had grown up together and were bound in ways that even other Shadowhunters could not understand. And, if she wasn't careful, she could tear them apart. It weighed on her heart that a simple mistake or misplaced word could harm something so perfect but she could not bear to hurt either one of them.
But even knowing that, she couldn't help letting her gaze linger on Will, telling herself that it was only concern that made her look longer than was proper. Moving into the room, she feigned a resigned sigh. "If Will insists on being the first to hear your latest song, then I must be patient."
As she spoke, a hint of amusement brightened her gray eyes, almost chasing away the worry as she took in Will's appearance. "At least Sophie won't be chasing after him for bleeding all over the floors." Shaking her head, she glanced from one to the other, giving Jem a look that was a silent offer to help deal with his parabatai if assistance was required. "What is the difference between an excursion and an outing."
"I do not see why you cannot here it together." Jem sounds puzzled as his eyes flicker between Will and Tessa. In close quarters the unease between them is evident. Something must be done about it. He squeezed Will's shoulder in a warning and his eyes pleaded not to protest the inclusion of Tessa in listening to the song.
"An excursion is a lot more energetic. An outing is more gentle, like a picnic that I insist you both join me at tomorrow at Hyde Park." Surely they could repair some of the problems between the two of them outside of the Institute.
Sinking back into the chair, he arched a brow and looked off to the fireplace just for something to look at. Resting his chin on his palm, he let his lashes lowered to cover his melancholic gaze. He started to say something witty (probably annoying) when he felt the sharp grip on his shoulder.
Lifting his gaze to his parabatai he knew he couldn't disregard that silent plea. Even if it would be better for all of them if he sullenly bowed out with some excuse. "I suppose excursion it was. I like to do things with flair."
Deep blue flicked back to Tessa and he knew it was a mistake when he caught her gray eyes. For a moment he held her gaze and felt warmth rush through him like butterflies. Something he knew from curling up next to Jem throughout his life. Now he felt it in an overwhelming wave when they were both in the room with him.
Only to have his attention ripped back as he realized what Jem just asked. "What?" That sounded very intelligent. "Isn't that one of those couple-ey-thingy... things... that couples do?" Because he was surely convincing them that he wasn't interested. He could almost hear his own inner voice dripping with sarcasm. "If you two want to go watch murderous fiends such as waterfowl on a perfectly dreary London afternoon, you don't need me to come along." But everything inside said he wanted to go. He wanted to badly.
"If you wish for us to hear it together, then I would be glad of the company." Even if she knew that she shouldn't be. Spending time together meant that there was more risk, but she could not refuse that request, not without hurting Jem or having to explain why she was avoiding Will.
Meeting his eyes, her heart stuttered and she was again reminded why they needed that distance. It was strange how she could love them equally and yet each caused a different reaction whenever they were near. Will was a mad rush that reminded her of tumbling off some high place while Jem was steady, the force that would make sure that she landed safely, the comfort she needed when the world that had been her refuge had been torn away from her.
Her introspection turned to laughter as Will stumbled for words. The sight of him completely without a witty comeback momentarily dispelling whatever misgivings she might have about the outing. Looking at Jem, she realized that he was caught in just as difficult a spot as they were. He loved them both completely and the tension between them had to cause him heartache. In trying to protect him, they were hurting him in other ways.
Moving to Jem's side, she brushed her hand against his, the gesture becoming more common between them. "I insist that you accompany us, Will. I'm sure the weather will be no less dreary than it always is in London." Smiling at Jem, she couldn't help teasing. "I'm sure that between the two of us, we can defend you from the ducks. Unless Will is right and they really are demonic."
For one shinning moment, when one hand is linked to Tessa and the other to Will, Jem felt a sense if rightness. The second Tessa's hand passed away, he felt its absence keenly. It was not easy to stand close to her without reaching out to her again.
"We will let you judge the nature of the ducks," Jem said as his lips twitched. "Will and I need an independent judge in the matter for we are both convinced we are right." He shot a warm smile at his Parabatai. "Will you agree they are only ordinary ducks if Tessa agrees with me, William?"
Sitting back in the chair, he let his eyes drifted back and forth between Jem and Tessa. Being stared down by the two most important people in his life did not make this easy. Staying away from Tessa was paramount. Wasn't it? He couldn't hurt Jem. Not Jem.
Closing his eyes, he reached up to rub at his face quietly. It hurt. It hurt having a glass wall between him and the people he loved. "I don't know, Jem... she's never seen their powers of evil. Therefore she is not a good judge." Even if he knew that left him open for them to get him to go.
"So... are you saying that I'm not going to get out of this ménage à trois?" The term was a little risque.. but sometimes he had to resort to desperate measures.
Tessa hated pulling her hand away from Jem's, the contact filling her with a warmth that she had never felt until she'd met the Nephilim. But such signs of affection were considered improper and to cultivate such familiarities before the wedding might reflect poorly on her fiancee, and couldn't be risked even in front of Will.
Especially not in front of Will.
For a moment, her longing for that closeness was obvious as she gazed at Jem. Without thought her hand moved again so that her finger caught his as he spoke of Will's strange fixation with ducks.
"If I haven't seen their evil, then I would be a better judge because I would be more impartial than either one of you." Jem would be fair and was more level headed than Tessa could ever be, but if they meant to convince Will to accompany them, then she needed to keep pressing their case until he finally agreed.
Not that he would assent easily or without attempting to shock them both. It was a defense that Tessa knew well and would not allow to sway her. "I believe that is what we're saying, Will." Then, her voice softened to a gentle plea. "We both would like you to go with us."
Jem is well versed in Will-isms. The more outrageous Will is, the more he cares about what he is trying to avoid talking about. It was hardly Will's fault that Jem found his suggestion appealing, or that Jem did not gently reprimand him for it. Jem could not allow his mind to wander there. There would far reaching consequences for Will and Tessa if the concept got it.
He focused on Tessa's warm fingers to center himself. To be allowed her was enough. He tightened his finger around hers.
"We would like it a lot," Jem said with a warm smile which was reserved only for Will and Tessa. "Surely you cannot deny both of us?" He rested his hand back on Will's shoulder and murmured, "Please. It has been awhile since the three of us have had some fun together."
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Tessa, come in please. Are you having trouble sleeping?
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A little. Then I heard you playing and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to hear you.
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I will always be glad of your company. Perhaps I could play you a lullaby to help you sleep.
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You can play whatever you like. I'll enjoy it.
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And why it seemed so imperative that people could only love one person in order to be happy. Loving both of them hurt as much as it gave him life.
Which was why he stopped outside Jem's door as the music of the violin permeated his senses. Leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes so he wouldn't find himself looking from Jem's door to Tessa's. And in the end, like sensory memory, he opened Jem's door and slid inside damp and sodden from the foggy streets of London.]
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He knew it was Will in the doorway without looking up, so he does not set down the violin immediately. He finished the tune first before he lifted his eyelashes from his cheeks with a smile.
"Your clothes are in a terrible state, did you have a disagreement with the ducks in the pond?" There is genuine concern mixed in with the playful greeting for Will is forever getting himself in to danger when Jem doesn't accompany him out.
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For all the weakness of the effects brought on by yin fen he never saw Jem as weak or less than his version of perfection. Tessa spoke the language of his heart, but Jem was interwoven into the fabric of his soul. After just a small moment to collect himself, a small pull at the side of his lips revealed a smirk.
"Luckily for them, they have long since been to bed. But that doesn't mean that other nasties don't like to annoy me by crowding my streets at night." Or... realistically, he badgered them till they became irritated enough to start a scuffle. "You're up late."
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Jem turned away from Will briefly to place the violin in its customary resting place.
"I had not realised the time," he said as he straightened. It is a half truth. He could never let Will fuss, or put it on him to spend the night in the same room s him when he was perfectly well.
He scanned the face that he knew better than his own for injury. His own eyes were bright, even if there were dark circles around them. All lay well on Will's regular features and Jem breathed a sigh of relief. Still his eyes lingered on for a moment, and rememorized every detail.
"I wanted to get this piece of music right before your usual over the top morning behaviour distracted."
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There stood a dark bruise on one side of his face, but not that bad. Not really. He'd had far more in the past during his excursions. Tonight just proved unbelievably difficult to handle as he'd watched Tessa and Jem at dinner and after.
It all felt like he was slowly closed off from the two things he lived for without them even realizing or meaning to.
"You speak of my wonderful nature as though it's a bad thing." Pressing a hand to his damp chest, he feigned shock. "Truly, James, you should not jest."
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"You look like you have worse than a headache, William," he added gently. It pained him to see the tension and unhappiness in his parabatai, both of which he had no means to heal without Will opening up to him.
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"That is a possibility, but nothing I can't manage." Grinning at him cheekily, he did as he was told. He tried to do as Jem asked. He always tried. Which was why he sank into the chair and seemed to melt into the cushions.
"Is your song almost done? You said you were working on it..." Deep blue rested on James with fixated adoration that was partially shielded by a curtain of dark lashes half lowered.
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Since sleep eluded her, she tried to lose herself in a book, comforted by the sound of Jem's violin. Her attention moving from one novel to another, but never lingering for more than a few pages. Finally, she had picked up the Shadowhunter Codex, rereading each section documenting warlocks even though she'd memorized each one.
The words held no comfort, not when they represented how her life had changed and how so much of it couldn't be shared with either of the men she loved. Lost in thought, it took Tessa a few moments to realize that Jem had stopped playing. Finding her wrap, she hurried across the hall to Jem's room, wondering what had interrupted the Shadowhunter, unsurprised when she saw Will with his parabatai
Standing in the doorway, she couldn't help thinking of how they would eventually be taken from her and how she and Jem had unintentionally hurt Will. All she could do was watch them, aching to find some answer that would bring them each the happiness they deserved.
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His hand dropped to Will's shoulder and tightened there as he turned towards the door, drawn there be some hidden force. "And for you Tessa," he added, delighted to see her as always. "Come in. Will has been on another of his excursions."
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His eyes only opened again when he felt the hand squeeze his shoulder. Only to stop altogether as he followed the track of Jem's eyes to the door. Oh... he'd left that open.
Dark blue rested on Tessa's form and something burned in pain inside his chest. Lips parting, he took in a deep breath and forced himself to look away. When he looked at her it was like drowning. Much like it felt with Jem... but with her, he couldn't. Even the slightest hint and he could break his Jem's heart. But that didn't mean his misery would be lumped on top of either of them. "Excursion. Outing. It was very invigorating. Nothing like a late night activity to get the heart going."
That cheeky smile flit over his lips as he looked up at Jem. He wanted so badly to look over at Tessa... so badly it hurt. But some things were worse than pain. Like the pain of others he loved dearly.
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Will and Jem had grown up together and were bound in ways that even other Shadowhunters could not understand. And, if she wasn't careful, she could tear them apart. It weighed on her heart that a simple mistake or misplaced word could harm something so perfect but she could not bear to hurt either one of them.
But even knowing that, she couldn't help letting her gaze linger on Will, telling herself that it was only concern that made her look longer than was proper. Moving into the room, she feigned a resigned sigh. "If Will insists on being the first to hear your latest song, then I must be patient."
As she spoke, a hint of amusement brightened her gray eyes, almost chasing away the worry as she took in Will's appearance. "At least Sophie won't be chasing after him for bleeding all over the floors." Shaking her head, she glanced from one to the other, giving Jem a look that was a silent offer to help deal with his parabatai if assistance was required. "What is the difference between an excursion and an outing."
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"An excursion is a lot more energetic. An outing is more gentle, like a picnic that I insist you both join me at tomorrow at Hyde Park." Surely they could repair some of the problems between the two of them outside of the Institute.
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Lifting his gaze to his parabatai he knew he couldn't disregard that silent plea. Even if it would be better for all of them if he sullenly bowed out with some excuse. "I suppose excursion it was. I like to do things with flair."
Deep blue flicked back to Tessa and he knew it was a mistake when he caught her gray eyes. For a moment he held her gaze and felt warmth rush through him like butterflies. Something he knew from curling up next to Jem throughout his life. Now he felt it in an overwhelming wave when they were both in the room with him.
Only to have his attention ripped back as he realized what Jem just asked. "What?" That sounded very intelligent. "Isn't that one of those couple-ey-thingy... things... that couples do?" Because he was surely convincing them that he wasn't interested. He could almost hear his own inner voice dripping with sarcasm. "If you two want to go watch murderous fiends such as waterfowl on a perfectly dreary London afternoon, you don't need me to come along." But everything inside said he wanted to go. He wanted to badly.
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Meeting his eyes, her heart stuttered and she was again reminded why they needed that distance. It was strange how she could love them equally and yet each caused a different reaction whenever they were near. Will was a mad rush that reminded her of tumbling off some high place while Jem was steady, the force that would make sure that she landed safely, the comfort she needed when the world that had been her refuge had been torn away from her.
Her introspection turned to laughter as Will stumbled for words. The sight of him completely without a witty comeback momentarily dispelling whatever misgivings she might have about the outing. Looking at Jem, she realized that he was caught in just as difficult a spot as they were. He loved them both completely and the tension between them had to cause him heartache. In trying to protect him, they were hurting him in other ways.
Moving to Jem's side, she brushed her hand against his, the gesture becoming more common between them. "I insist that you accompany us, Will. I'm sure the weather will be no less dreary than it always is in London." Smiling at Jem, she couldn't help teasing. "I'm sure that between the two of us, we can defend you from the ducks. Unless Will is right and they really are demonic."
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"We will let you judge the nature of the ducks," Jem said as his lips twitched. "Will and I need an independent judge in the matter for we are both convinced we are right." He shot a warm smile at his Parabatai. "Will you agree they are only ordinary ducks if Tessa agrees with me, William?"
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Closing his eyes, he reached up to rub at his face quietly. It hurt. It hurt having a glass wall between him and the people he loved. "I don't know, Jem... she's never seen their powers of evil. Therefore she is not a good judge." Even if he knew that left him open for them to get him to go.
"So... are you saying that I'm not going to get out of this ménage à trois?" The term was a little risque.. but sometimes he had to resort to desperate measures.
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Especially not in front of Will.
For a moment, her longing for that closeness was obvious as she gazed at Jem. Without thought her hand moved again so that her finger caught his as he spoke of Will's strange fixation with ducks.
"If I haven't seen their evil, then I would be a better judge because I would be more impartial than either one of you." Jem would be fair and was more level headed than Tessa could ever be, but if they meant to convince Will to accompany them, then she needed to keep pressing their case until he finally agreed.
Not that he would assent easily or without attempting to shock them both. It was a defense that Tessa knew well and would not allow to sway her. "I believe that is what we're saying, Will." Then, her voice softened to a gentle plea. "We both would like you to go with us."
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He focused on Tessa's warm fingers to center himself. To be allowed her was enough. He tightened his finger around hers.
"We would like it a lot," Jem said with a warm smile which was reserved only for Will and Tessa. "Surely you cannot deny both of us?" He rested his hand back on Will's shoulder and murmured, "Please. It has been awhile since the three of us have had some fun together."