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Dinner's a Chinese take-out spread.

[A drop of duck sauce falls on the report Steve's reading with one hand from the take out container his in other and he has to admit that he needs to focus. The report wins out as he sets down the container and wipes at the spot with his fingers. The table in front of him is littered with reports, requisitions and take-out containers.

He realizes that somewhere on a computer, all this information is contained on a single screen, but despite technological advances, he prefers the paper trail. Black and white is easier to piece together when it's solid and right in front of him.]

I think we need to set up a timeline. Work out who had clearance on our end to your objectives. A level six or above should cut out most agents.

[ Sharon takes another bite of an eggroll and hopes Steve doesn't notice the faint scent of something burning coming from the kitchen. She'd tried to cook. She really had. But she could barely cook when she was concentrating, and with the thought of Steve coming over, er, the reason Steve was coming over, she had been distracted.

She isn't doing much better now. She wants to think about the case rationally. She wants to focus on the words on the page and consider them in a calm and collected manner. Instead, she stares at the page, making sense of a couple words at a time, and thinking "No, that's not right. That doesn't begin to cover it." She can't seem to get comfortable, either. All that training SHIELD had given her, and some time abandoned behind enemy lines had made her forget it all.

She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and tries again.

Still, as soon as Steve mentions setting up a timeline, she's up like a shot. She gathers paper, markers, and tape, and starts setting up a chart on her wall, taping different signs up. One for suspects, one for timeline, and a couple more for dates she knows might be relevant, if only to her. ]

No one really visits, so I figure we can just... take over. Free reign of the apartment.

[ And if something happens and she loses the deposit, then screw it. She loses the deposit. And though she doesn't know what could go wrong, she half hopes something does happen. Odds are she'd be able to hit someone then, and she'd like to hit someone over this. ]

[If Steve had caught the slight sniff of burnt food when he'd arrived he hadn't said anything. His attention is much too focused on the matter at hand and Sharon herself anyway. She seems much more relaxed - though that term is still a little bit of a stretch - here in her own apartment.

He's been here a handful of times before, but never for long. Clocking his current visit in at forty-five minutes makes it his longest stay yet. His attention snaps to her as she bolts up and begins gathering supplies. He gets up from his own chair uncertainly, wanting to be of some assistance, but not sure how. He relaxes when he realizes she's doing just what he suggested, but doesn't actually settle back down into his chair.]

That's a good idea.

[He studies the set up she's laid out in front of them and then something hits a chord and he's suddenly digging through the papers in front of him.]

The first time, when you missed your rendezvous. Who were you supposed to meet for pick up?

An agent named Dexter Benson. According to his report, he was waiting for me to make contact for three hours before he thought it too dangerous to stay.

[ Sharon can't disagree with Benson's decision to leave, either. She now understands the dangers of the mission far more than she had before, and she isn't certain that she wouldn't have left under similar circumstances.

Only she wouldn't have. A team is useless if you're willing to leave them behind to save your own skin. That's part of the creed, isn't it? Leave no man behind.

So no. She understands Benson's fear. She understands his decision. But it had left her seething. She hadn't done anything to warrant being left behind. She had been late for a contact because of a protest that had broken out in violence. And SHIELD hadn't tried to find her after. It had abandoned her.

And she can't understand why she'd come back. Is SHIELD the only life she knows? Or is it that she's just too stubborn to give up? Too stupid to quit?

Maybe she should go home for a while and spend some time with Aunt Peggy.

But even as she had the thought, she knew she couldn't. She couldn't run yet. Not until she knew who had betrayed her. Betrayed SHIELD.

She looks at the papers in her hands, and the text slowly comes into focus. She takes a steadying breath. This is helping. This is good.

She starts drawing a map on a piece of paper on the wall. ]

Here was the point of contact. I was based two miles away. Half an hour before I was due to make contact, rebels attacked a non-violent protest, so the non-violent part of the day end-

[ She stops and frowns at the text. She swallows, then looks at the map again. ]

This is wrong. I- This address... It used to be a coffee shop until two days before the meet. Bombing. I got a new location to make contact, but... this isn't the address I got. I was two blocks away.

[ Which didn't account for the time disparity. She started flipping through her papers, suddenly feeling as if she couldn't breathe. She stops when she finally sees the time. ]

Steve. This- this is wrong. Benson got a meeting time for three hours before I did.

[ She dropped the papers on the table and sat, her hands sliding into her hair. Someone had doctored the papers. Why? Why would someone do that? ]

Who else had access to the documents? Fury wouldn't have done it. If he were going to cut me loose, he'd say so.

[ Right? Right?

She takes a deep breath. She finally has proof that she was set up. Except- Except she doesn't. ]

It still isn't proof. [ She has to force herself to say the words. She wants to cry and hit things. ] I destroyed all the info I got that could compromise SHIELD. I don't have the meet info. Not my meet info. All anyone has to say is that I'm making it up.

[Steve remembers Agent Benson, though he was never specifically told that he was the agent that had left Sharon behind. He had been at the debriefing, sitting at the table as they'd told Steve the circumstances of Sharon's missed connection.

Steve had been too focused on finding a solution in extracting Sharon from behind enemy lines to have actually have paid him any real attention. Three hours was well within protocol for him to have left, but Steve still can't help but file the information away for the next time he comes face to face with Agent Dexter Benson.

He watches her as she pauses, focusing in on the piece of paper in her hand. He can see the panic on her face as she searches for the other piece of information. When she sits, he moves beside her, moving to put a hand on her shoulder but remembering all too well her reaction from earlier that day.

His hand hovers for a moment before he pulls it back, leaning over her shoulder to look at the dates and times in front of them.]

Fury wouldn't have burned you like this.

[Steve may have his doubts about Fury from time to time, but he has faith that the man wouldn't have done this. He picks up the paper, his arm nearly, but not quite touching hers.]

It was someone else. Someone with access to the communication coming in and out.

[He shifts his attention to her, his expression softening.]

You did what you were supposed to, Sharon. Maybe we can't use this as proof, but it's proof that we're on the right track. This narrows down the people who could've been in a position with access to the mission communication.

It's a start.

[ It's comforting to hear Steve agree with her about Fury. If she's right about that, she might be right about more. She hasn't felt right about anything in a long, long time. ]

Fury would know. They have a log of everyone handling communications around the clock.

They would have thought of changing the log, but if we can find out who was on shift...

[ She turns to him, her teeth worrying her lip. She swallows. Her eyes fall to his arm. He was so close. It's... comforting to have him so close. It makes her remember their time in Budapest, and she smiles softly as she hesitantly places her hand over his. ]

I'm sorry for earlier. I'm- I'm going to be okay, okay? I really am. I know I'm not right now, but I will be.

And maybe we can go on another mission. I'll try not to get pinned down by another corpse.

[ She slowly pulls her hand away. And she guesses she might need help, but she really doesn't want to admit it. She isn't who she used to be, though. She knows that.

Oh, God. All those months of him treating her as someone who needs to be protected, and here she is, needing protection.

It makes her angry. It makes her determined and fiery and mad, and it feels fantastic. ]

[Her hand is warm on his hand as she speaks and he feels some little relief at her words, even if he is frustrated that she's actually the one having to comfort him. It should be the other way around, but he has no idea how to help Sharon, except to help her find the person that did this to her.

Deep down he knows it won't be enough. He had thought that getting revenge for Bucky's death would make him feel better, but all it had really done was made him feel even more empty inside. When Schmidt had gone the world was better off, but it had meant that Steve had to deal with Bucky's death without any kind of distraction. He'd gotten a seventy year reprieve, but that hadn't meant that the aftermath had been any easier. Still, Sharon was like him in that way. She needed a focus. She needed a mission. Without any kind of directive, she'd just get lost inside herself.

He forces a small smile, shaking off the memory of how much it had hurt that she couldn't stand for him to touch her.]

There's nothing to be sorry for. You've been through a lot, Sharon.

[More than she ever should've. He was beginning to wonder if this mission wasn't as much for him as it was for her. Something to channel his anger towards. A worthy target. He swallows.]

And I know you will be. Until then, though, you need to give yourself a break. You were in a place no agent should've been in. Put there by someone you trusted. It's okay if you're not okay with that. It's okay if it takes some time to... get back.

[ She twists in her seat to look up at him. She hates to say it, but he's handling this really, really well. He's saying the right things. Doing the right things. She can see what her aunt saw in him. What so many other people see in him. And that's without seeing him from behind, since she'd noticed that a while ago.

She looks away and frowns at the paper again. She'll keep looking through to see if she can find any other inconsistencies.

But first, there's something she's been meaning to say since she woke up in the cell. She takes a breath and dives in. ]

I'm sorry. The way I treated you before wasn't right. I was just-

[ She'd been a child. But she wasn't a child anymore. ]

I'm sorry.

[When she turns her face up to him, they're so close. All he has to do is reach out and touch that Carter jaw...

The right thing to do is a gut feeling, but this is a different one. This takes him back in time to a kiss hanging off the side of a moving car seventy years ago. To a kiss shared in an alley on their first undercover mission. It had been a decoy, but it wasn't easily forgotten.

That was the problem with Steve. He was no good at forgetting.

And then she looks down and he's released from that pull. From that terrible idea. Especially now. When she can't even stand him to touch her, let alone...

His thoughts come to a halt as he blinks down at her. He takes a deep breath and pulls out a chair, sitting beside her.]

It's okay. You were testing me.

[He gives a small smile.]

You're not the first.

[ She laughs. The sound is odd, like she hasn't done it in so long that she's forgotten how, like it's an alien thing now.

But she'll get better.

She intends to put a bullet in whoever betrayed her. Several, actually. ]

I wasn't testing you. I wanted to punch you in the face? When you tried to shove me off my first solo case, I could have pushed you off a cliff.

[ She flashes him a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. ]

But I bet I still wasn't the first.

[His mouth reacts on it's own accord at the sound of her laugh, curving up in turn and letting out a small chuckle. It's nice to see her smile again, even if he knows it's not one that's completely there.]

For the record, I wasn't trying to shove you off. I was trying to look out for you. [He raised his eyebrows slightly and paused.] Which, was actually a lot more condescending.

[He let out a small breath.]

I'm sorry about that. I should've had more faith, but it was before I knew who you were.

[ Not Peggy's niece but an excellent agent in her own right. ]

And no. You probably weren't the first.

[ She sobers, her eyes falling back to the papers on the table. ]

No. You were right.

[ She pulls some papers toward her, but it takes her several seconds before she can focus on the words.

She'd been a fool back then. She couldn't be so foolish now. Never again. She would get revenge. Or justice. And she would find out after if she still wanted to be a SHIELD agent, and then... Then, she didn't know. ]

[ He watches her, that smile fading from her face and eyes as she turns back to her work. The silence drags out between them and he doesn't know what he's waiting for.]

No, I wasn't. I didn't know what you were capable of, or the kind of agent you are. I made an assumption and you were quick to prove me wrong.

[He paused.]

If anything, you ended up watching out for me on that mission.

[It doesn't hurt his pride to say it. Not now. Maybe back then he wouldn't have been so quick to admit it, but he'd known that he was out of his depth. She'd helped him in more ways than one and she'd done it free of pity or special treatment. He couldn't have asked for more.]

What happened doesn't say anything about you, it says something about the person that did it to you. I hope you know that.

[ Seconds tick by. She hadn't known the clock on the wall could make so much noise, but each move of the second arm sounds like a short crack of thunder. The words on the page blur together, and if she could just calm down and get her breath under control, she could make them make sense again.

The more she tries, the more her fingers tremble. When she finally notices, she stands so abruptly that the chair falls to the floor. She hurries to right it. ]

Let's pick this up tomorrow.

[ She can't do this right now. She knows that the first part of what he says is a lie. As for the rest, she isn't as certain as he is. It churns her stomach just to think about it, and as soon as the chair's standing again, she's on her way to the door to hold it open for him. ]

Might as well leave the papers. I'll look at them again tonight.

[Silence invades again and Steve lets it linger, waiting for Sharon to offer some kind of confirmation that she gets this truth, because he refuses to let her believe anything else.

He can see the doubt and it has no place on her. Sharon is the most capable person he knows. But there are some things that shake you as a person. That makes you doubt who you are and who you thought you were. He knows, even if he's never been through this.

When she moves it's as if a shot goes off. He moves out of her way, a worried frown forming.]

Sharon...

[She's moving towards the door and he can't help it, he wants to reach out to stop her. Even if his mind is screaming at him not to touch her without warning, he feels that if she makes it to the door her resolve to see him gone will be that much stronger.

He moves in front of her, blocking her way to the door.]

Sharon, wait.

[He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.]

I can't leave until I hear you say it. Until I know that you know this isn't your fault.

[ Did he just block the exit? What if she needs the exit? Is it a trap? A trick? They'd done it before, making her think she could escape and then taking her chance away at the last second. It had been a game to them.

She studies him quickly, not recognizing him as she assesses him for threats. Studying him for weak points. Would he lead with his left or his right?

Words. Her name. He was saying her name. Not the names they had used, but her real one. They'd never used her real name.

She stares at him again, but this time she sees him. It still takes her a couple seconds to make sense of what she's seeing, to see him for him, but it's Steve. She knows Steve. She'd worked with Steve. She'd wanted Steve to save her. She hated being saved, she hated needing to be rescued, but then she'd needed it and Steve hadn't come. No one had come until it was almost too late. Shouldn't they have come for her? That was what agents did. But no one had come for her. Because she wasn't worth it. She'd fucked up, and they'd hung her out to dry. She'd nearly gone with it, too, nearly hung herself just like they had, and she hates it. She hates that she felt so weak. She hates that she'll always know she was that weak.

What good is a weak SHIELD agent?

Her shoulders slump, but the anger at SHIELD - at him - is still there. They'd never treated her as worthless before. None of them. Steve had even kissed her. She'd- she'd liked him. She'd thought she could depend on him. When everyone else fails, it's Captain America that comes through, right? The boyscout in blue.

Before she even realizes it, she's throwing a punch at his arm. She doesn't even check to see if it hits before she throws another. And another. And another. ]

WHY DIDN'T YOU COME FOR ME?

[There's a wild look in her eye when she looks up at him again and he is reminded of when he'd touched her earlier. He recognizes he's hit upon some deeply ingrained fight or flight response and he's about to say her name again when she throws the first punch.

It lands solidly, the surprise from it more than the momentum sending his shoulder back before he catches himself. Another lands and he reaches out instinctively, his fingers landing on her shoulders to stop her.

He used to imagine all the times he as fairly certain she would've loved to have thrown a punch his way, but she has never actually done it and for a moment he's afraid she's trapped in some kind of flashback. In some raw need to escape.

And then her words cut through him. They hit him harder than any fist could've and for a second Steve's face freezes into one heavy with guilt and regret.

He doesn't have an answer for her. He should've been there. He should've known. He should've kept that promise he'd made to himself and Peggy the first day he'd met Sharon, but he hadn't. He hadn't even known until it was too late.

His hands tightened on her shoulders reflexively. Shame burning through him as he shakes his head.]

I'm sorry. I should've... I didn't know.

[It's never going to be good enough. It's never going to take back the hell she's been through and he knows it.

He deserves to lose her trust after this. He deserves to lose her. But he can't.]

Sharon, please.

[ She doesn't stop fighting him. When his grip tightens, she fights harder, pushing against him and continuing to try to hit him any way she can. She can't hear what he says, she wouldn't care if she could. She just wants to hit something, hit him, hurt him.

Soon, the fight goes out of her, and she sags against him. She's winded from crying and lashing out at him. As she gets her breath back, she notices that the world seems blurry and slowly realizes she's been crying. She sobs quietly, hiding her face by pressing her forehead against his chest.

It doesn't even bother her that he's watching her break down. Not yet. She's still putting pieces together.

And, oddly, feeling better.

What sort of monster is she that attacking him makes her feel better? ]

[It takes him a moment, but he recognizes this for what it is, even if it wasn't the same for him. She's in need of a punching bag. Something that can take all the frustration and pain that she can't inflict on others. He's just the closest thing to an indestructible one that she has. Not only that, but he's the most deserving.

He loosens his grip on her, but he doesn't let go. He let's her take it out on him, knowing that she's right. That it is partly his fault that she's in this situation. That she needs a punching bag at all. He can still see the old Sharon in her. In the way that she hits, in the fight that's ingrained in her, but there's a new kind of weariness that he never wanted to see in her. It's not weakness, it's uncertainty. It's doubt. And it's eating her from the inside out.

When she sags against him, he just holds her, his breath is measured, but his heart is beating double time. Waiting for her. Waiting for his thoughts to realign in order to support this new, massive guilt. One that he'll carry with him to the grave. One that he'll never stop trying to make up for.

She's the best he's ever known. In some ways, better than Peggy, even if his heart gives a small pang in thinking so. Seeing her destroyed like this makes him feel as if the earth has turned upside down. As if they're both only hanging on by a thread.]

Sharon. [His voice is gruff, matching the prickle at the edge of his eyes.] I let you down. You're right. I should've been there and nothing I can do will ever make up for me not being there.

[He swallowed down the lump forming in his throat.]

But I swear to you, I won't let it happen again.

Steve. [ Her voice is muffled against his shirt, but she doesn't move away. She doesn't move at all. She doesn't know why, but she's exhausted now, her eyes burning and her limbs listless. And she hates to admit it, but Steve... He's... He feels good. Solid. Real and warm and non-threatening. The more they stand here like this, the more comfortable it gets. ]

Shut up.

[ She continues to lean against him, turning her head so she can hear his heartbeat. Feeling him against her is good, but hearing his heartbeat is better. It's strong and steady. She might not share his ideals or his super-strength, but she still appreciates how strong and steady he is.

She finally pulls away, looking up at him before glancing away. Because it's just occurred to her that she's spent the past several, what, minutes? Hitting him, crying against him, and then nearly falling asleep. She clears her throat and self-consciously brushes off his shirt in case she wrinkled it somehow, unaware that her aunt once made a similar gesture for different reasons. ]

It- It isn't your fault. I didn't want you saving me, so I didn't tell you. I was stupid.

I just don't always remember that before trying to beat the crap out of people who deserve it.

Apparently, it's normal.

[ PTSD: The normal crazy. ]

[Despite the fact that they occasionally butt heads, he respects and admires Sharon. He wouldn't be the agent he is today if he hadn't listened to her blunt feedback in the beginning. He clawed his way back into the saddle, but she kept him upright and alert in more ways than one. He's learned to listen to her and weigh her words carefully, even if he doesn't agree with them. So when she tells him to shut up, he does so.

He just holds her for what feels like a small eternity, but also doesn't feel long enough before she pulls away. For a short amount of time their hearts and breathing seems to be in sync and for the first time since learning about what happened to her he feels a small amount of the peace that he used to feel around her. That peace that he had found himself missing so much when they'd temporary lost contact with one another.

The way she looks up and then away, the small brush of his shirt feels like deja vu and it tugs at a part of him that he thought he'd locked away. A part of him that had spectacularly not been present in his latest romantic wreck.

Steve's not sure that he can let himself off the hook as easily. He feels personally responsible for Sharon. And it's not just because of her connection to Peggy. Sometimes he honestly thinks Sharon is one of the only people who really understands him.

He reaches up, brushing her cheek lightly and affectionately.]

If I had known, there would've no way to stop me for coming after you I would've torn that place apart brick by brick. I wouldn't have stopped until I found you.

[His voice is hard and unwavering, a direct contradiction to the gentleness of his touch.]

And I won't stop now. Not until we get them. Everyone responsible.

[ She almost startles when he reaches out to touch her cheek, but she forces herself to stay in place. The gentle touch is almost a reward, in a way, and after a moment, she covers his hand with hers. She doesn't notice that she does it; she just wants to reassure herself that he's touching her and it doesn't hurt. ]

I- Next time, I'll tell you what I'm doing. Just in case.

[ It isn't until she says it that she realizes there will be a next time. Maybe not for a while, but she's going to go on another mission one day.

And she realizes she doesn't want him to go.

Oh, is her therapist going to enjoy this. If Sharon ever talks about this with anyone. ]

[The instinct to reach up and touch her is completely mindless. He doesn't think about the implications, at least not until her hand covers his. His thumb stills, but he doesn't quite move away. Because he gets it right then. He's touching her and she's not running away or flinching or striking out.

He hasn't thought about next time. Though he never really thought that Sharon would or could walk away from SHIELD. But he knows that next time he will be involved. And every time after that. If not a direct member of the mission, than with his ear to the ground. He won't crowd her, but he will never not know what she's doing again.

And even as he thinks it, he know he can't do that to her. Knows that he wouldn't be doing it for her, but for him. Knows that she wouldn't let him. If he knows, it needs to be because she told him. Because she wanted him to know. He just hope she means it.]

Only if I can tell you what I'm doing. [The corner of his mouth lifts the tiniest bit.] Just in case.

I wouldn't mind having Agent 13 in my corner, when I needed her.

[ She stares at him for a moment as the words slowly sink in, and then she wraps her arms tightly around his neck.

He still trusts her. Of course he would. But it still means something to her. He still thinks she can be a good agent.

And the thought has her dangerously close to crying. Because yes, she's still scared that she's broken and will never be any good again, that she's washed up as an agent, but Steve has faith in her. Captain America wants her at his back. Steve trusts her to have his back.

When she manages to speak, she can't get her voice above a whisper. ]

I would never let something happen to Captain America.

[ Which is not only a promise, but Sharon's way of saying "Thank you." ]

[Of course Steve trusts her. Even after all this time, the number of people that he truly trusts can fit on one hand. And Sharon, well, she's at the top of that list because she's proven herself again and again to him.

More than that, he thinks she understands him in a way that other people don't. They're a lot alike, him and Agent 13.

Still, her soft words strike an unexpected chord inside of him and he stills, his chest blossoming with an unaccustomed warmth. Her arms are wrapped around his neck and he can only take that as permission, or maybe even a request, to hold her. His arms move slowly to wrap around her waist.]

[ He isn't touching her like the men before had. He's careful of her, careful to be gentle with her even though she knows his strength and knows he could break her bones. But that isn't why he's being careful, and she knows it.

She would kill for him. Before, she had thought she'd even die for him if she had to. But now she knows she would.

After what feels like a long hour, she pulls away. Her arms are a little numb, and as she blood rushes back in, she feels the pins and needles start. How had they gotten from fighting to hugging?

She tucks some strands of hair behind an ear. ]

I'll keep working on the case.

Thanks for coming over, Steve.

[Time seems to stand still when she's in his arms, and when she does pull away, he feels as if he's lost something important. He meets her eyes and holds them, wondering if he's actually managed to help her at all. Wondering if she's dismissing him.

He's made his speeches, he's promised his help in making the people responsible pay, and he's apologized for not being there when she needed him most but it doesn't feel like it's enough. He's not sure if it will ever will be.

He swallows.]

I'll come by in the morning.

[Early, but not too early. Bearing breakfast and a fresh set of eyes, since he knows that she will be up late combing through the information. He doesn't want to leave her now, but he thinks maybe she wants to be alone.]

And Sharon... [What more is there to say? Does she know how important she is, not only to SHIELD but to him? Does she know how much he's gotten from her example? From her friendship? He loosens his hands from around her slowly, reluctantly.] Try to get some sleep.

[ She gives a small nod. ]

Okay. I'll... see you in the morning.

[ And maybe she'll try to get some sleep. After she's done working. ]

[ She realizes she's blocking the door and slides over to the side so he can go. ]

[He nods in return, taking her step to the side as an invitation to see himself out. As he moves by her, he rests his hand lightly on her shoulder. It'd might have been a light pat except for the fact that it stays there a few seconds too long.

But he's said enough for tonight and he's not going to wear out his welcome. So after a moment he pulls it back and moves to the door. He lets himself out without another word.

Something tells him neither of them are going to be getting much sleep tonight.]

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