sixwordstories | (no subject)

What? Aw, jeez, B...are you all right?

I'm fine. They just came in, knocked shit around and acted like dicks.

Damn...

*takes him by the shoulders, checks him out to make sure he's all right*

Who were they? What did they want?

*winces* Knock it off.

ABIs. They think I run with them because I don't tell them to fuck off when they come around and some bitch-ass got it in his head he's some kinda pimp. I told them they was tripping and to eat a dick.

*lets go*

Sorry.

*sighs*

Why do I get the feeling that's exactly what you're gonna tell me if I say I wanna try and do something about these assholes?

...that you're tripping? Yeah, dude. They're a fucking gang. They shoot people.

Fuck.

*sits down beside him*

Shit. Oughta turn Percy loose on 'em. I don't know if he could finish thirty in a night but he could sure drain a few of 'em.

No-ho-ho-ho-hoooooo. Nooooooooooo. No no no. No.

*sidelong glance*

So...you think the plan is flawed?

Just a little.

*sighs*

How about I hire you two very big, very heavily armed bodyguards with caffeine addictions and no personal lives?

No.

It's fine, these punks aren't going away. I'm just gonna get a new door.

*nods, worried*

So, they think you're one of them, right? I mean...they wouldn't hurt you, would they?

*bites his tongue*

Naw. They been comin' around for weeks, keep trying to get me to be Beavis or Butthead's girl.

*growls*

Fucking assholes. I swear...

*deep breath*

You still got your gun? I mean, I know you didn't buy it for the Belushi boys but you'll use it if you have to, right?

Sugar, I can take care of it. I been dealing with it, I'll keep dealing with it.

*doesn't point out that the last time someone tried something he shanked them*

I know. I just...

*sighs*

At least let me help with the door?

Yeah okay.

*grins and nudges him*

All right, come on. We'll go down to the hardware store and pick one out. We'll get you a good one, solid core, security locks. The ABIs will have to start working out if they wanna get through this one.

Lock. One. Uno.

*gives him PUPPY EYES OF DOOM*

*doesn't budge*

*sighs*

Okay. One lock. One very good, very strong, very unbreakable lock.

*eyes him*

You drive a hard bargain, von Ponybutt.